Mansplaining

monsieurhire2 · 2013-10-22T22:46:48+00:00

For me, "mansplaining" was the bridge too far, straw that broke the camel's back, that made me go, "Just wait a fucking minute here."

Mansplaining: in actual practice¹, whenever a man, regardless of whether he has any actual authority or knowledge, explains something to a woman and she gets bad feelings because: (a) she was a ignorant on the topic, and/or (b) his tone of voice and cadence of speaking offend her delicate aesthetic sensibilities.

¹ (The women that use this term claim "experts" get a pass since they have actual authority. But that narrows the number of people who can explain things.)

Note: She cannot simply call him a bore, or a pedant, because that would be using gender-neutral terminology.

This is all about telling men to shut up and to discourage them from expressing their opinions. It's also more divide and conquer because the proliferation of a gendered term like this creates an us against them mentality in the men and women who experience it.

Women of course, are either incapable of mansplaining since they're women, and then the term would be gender-neutral. Or when they explain things like a man, they are mansplaining, and not simply being assholes. I've heard both theses uttered by the same person.

Now every half-educated nitwit female will prevent a man from telling her anything because . . . "You're mansplaining!"

And of course, the hypocrisy, because women have complained for years that men never listen to them because "You're just a girl!"

jacobman · 2013-10-23T02:24:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

mazzyTuff · 2013-10-23T00:00:31+00:00

The thing is:

Mansplaining is a term used to silence debate, and used to silence men specifically.

Hamstering is a gender neutral term used when a calling out someone's hypocrisies.

The two are vastly different in application and usage.

2013-10-22T23:13:55+00:00

If it can be explained, with logic, why the emotional element is value adding, and not entirely self-serving and/or circular in nature; I'd agree.

But its remarkably rare for women's "emotional communication" to pass this relatively simple test...

themoor · 2013-10-22T23:29:54+00:00

Maybe, but probably not if we confuse the two terms for being opposite sides of the same coin, which I don't think they are.

For women (usually reactionary feminists, but not always) when they use "mansplaining", it is a term to not only shut down a man's opinion (and, yes, some guys do use "hamstering" to do the same), but it's implicit argument is that the man is explaining something to a woman in a way that treats her as stupid, ignorant, childlike, and so on. While some men do this, this term has become a short-hand to simply react to something a guy has to say that a woman doesn't like. Be careful. Not every time a woman uses this is she being a reactive, cunty, shrew trying to shut you up because she doesn't like it. Like a stereotype, feminists created the term to reflect something with SOME evidence for it. Maybe you ARE being a condescending dick, know-it-all, bore. But once coined, the term has become a snarky go to term for lesser female debaters (over-represented online) to just throw out and walk away in a false sense of victory.

Hamstering is a term guys created to describe the backward rationalization many women to do justify, explain, excuse (etc.) some decision and/or action she has already set upon. The goal is to provide a plausible retrospective interpretation of what happened. The rationalization could settle upon the individual ("I was drunk", "I sad because of [some life event])", their SO ("you haven't been paying attention to me", "you did something I didn't like"), or the situation ("it just happened"). The hamster's job is to explain away the previous action taken with a way that absolves the actor of their responsibility, or at least minimize it.

The hamster is NOT unique to women. But, in men's communicated experiences, they do tend to rely on it much more than men.

Red Pill basics is that women react to situations and do so emotionally first. They interpret emotional responses as "truth" of the moment and act accordingly. Some are very reactive and suggestive, some more measured, and some down right difficult and skeptical. Still, all of them first perceive and embrace general social interaction emotionally first.

Because emotional reactions to situations have such a margin for error, after an action is taken the rational mind speaks up and says, "how to we account for ourselves?"

The problem is that the initial reaction she had was not rational but emotional (which explains cheating on their part, but ours too) so now she's forced back on her heels to explain an emotional reaction with a logical justification. When these are incongruous, a hamstering rationalization must be enlisted.

TLDR; though hamstering and mansplaining might have surface similarities, they are words created to target fundamentally different types of arguments.

BadgerBurger · 2013-10-23T11:19:34+00:00

I had no idea what this word meant, so I made the mistake of asking instead of looking it up. The woman told me that mansplaining was a gender neutral term. That's how I knew we were through the looking glass.

drrtyfrrnr · 2013-10-23T11:27:19+00:00

can someone do a find-and-replace for hampstering and switch it with "hamstering" please?

(funny thing is both are red-underlined in my browser)

vengefully_yours · 2013-10-23T19:14:36+00:00

Yes men rationalize shit too, they also project and have confirmation bias. Be aware of it so you can take time and think about the situation so you dont rationalize yourself into continuing to do the fucked up things you have been doing.

If you fucked up, own it, learn from it and move on. It sure as fuck appears to me that women are wholly incapable of doing exactly that.

pirateundies · 2013-10-22T22:43:49+00:00

Yes. Something I think happens on here quite a bit is to simply write off a girl's emotional communication as hamstering. I think we as a community would benefit from looking more deeply into how emotional communication works.

But maybe that's just me, and I've been wrong before.

[Edit: Although I would hesitate to call emotional communication "logical", I think there's a pattern to the madness.]

pontifx · 2013-10-23T03:09:08+00:00

Explanation in general occurs when the person you are talking at (not to) is not open to what you are saying. Everyone does it and doesn't really understand what is going on. It comes from wanting to be heard so bad you don't take the time to wait or create the opening to say what you wanted to say.

Explanation is a weaker form of communication because the emotional current must guide the listener from their uninterested viewpoint to an interested one.

DasWood · 2013-10-23T05:33:34+00:00

Coin a new term? Femsplaining?

FortunateBum · 2013-10-23T01:08:35+00:00

Is it a possibility? Yes? Is it likely? No.

Title	Mansplaining
Author	jacobman
Upvotes	13
Comments	28
Date	October 22, 2013 10:32 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1p0bpo/mansplaining/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/mansplaining.7390 https://theredarchive.com/post/7390

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