Learning how to speak skillfully/gracefully?

little_tuberose · 2018-01-14T02:13:00+00:00

I love watching old 50s movies! Actresses like Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly are classic sources of inspiration, especially in Roman Holiday, Sabrina, or High Society.

Whisper · 2018-01-14T08:17:39+00:00

Always acknowledge what the other person has said before you begin responding.
When doing #1, express sympathy for the motivating emotions behind the point of view.
Then, when you express your opinion, "own" it, using the words "I think", or "I feel", or "I believe", rather than stating it as if it were an uncontroversial fact.
Explain the motivating emotions, goals, and priorities behind your belief when you express it.

unsweetenedlemon · 2018-01-14T09:54:07+00:00

You can practice being mindful of what you say by picturing the words you speak in your mind before/while you say them, as if they were printed. This really helped me!! Sometimes I have a quick temper, and I find that this practice has a calming effect, as well.

asteadyheart · 2018-01-15T22:59:16+00:00

Something I learned through therapy:

The person who controls their emotions is the person who controls the conversation.

The person yelling on top of their lungs and screaming vs. the person who is quietly listening and waiting for the screaming person to stop screaming. Who is really in command?

When you are talking to people with differing opinions, many of them can be very "blunt" because they "tell it like it is!" and "have no time for fakers." I always roll my eyes at them. They think they're being bold and daring, when in fact they're about as graceful as a drunk bull in a China shop.

Always pause, ask yourself if it is worth getting riled up over. Especially if it's a public place, a stranger, or a family member. If it's in public, then it's just a scene that they are trying to get you to create. If it's a stranger, who cares because you'll never see them again. If it's a family member, some things can never be taken back.

While 50's movies might be a great example to watch, it's hard to imitate because the lines were written for the actresses. The entire scene is crafted and each step has been thought out. Sadly, life is not a movie.

My go-to is to approach everyone in life with warmth and sincerity. If they want to make a fool out of themselves by attempting to make a fool out of you, that's their business. Don't take the bait, feel free to steer the conversation into something about them (about their hobbies, interests, events in life), and they will be the ass in the conversation, not you.

FMLhehe · 2018-01-14T22:54:17+00:00

Well this is something I've always done in the past relationships as a man and I can tell you it also applies to women.

Never use accuse anyone of anything. (Eg: You never clean the dishes!) Basically every phrase that begins with "You". People usually get defensive and it never ends with an agreement. Use phrases like "I feel sad because..." "I am really concerned because.." Always make sure to talk about your feelings in these cases so that you are more relatable and the person will most likely see your point of view.
When you find it hard to express yourself you might also write him a letter in which you list your concerns. Dear beloved, With love, . I think it has helped me a lot when I couldn't face my partner and tell her how I feel.
You seek to be understood, and for this you need to inspire compassion. You need to talk a lot about how you feel about a certain thing and how it affects you.

I hope it helps!

onacasserole · 2018-01-15T16:27:18+00:00

I think speaking well starts with listening well. People who are a bit brash or blunt almost always have poor listening skills. I can always tell when, while I'm talking to someone, they are just thinking of what they'll say next and not really listening.

I recommend being more in the moment and really becoming a skilled listener. It's ok for there to be a slight silence in a conversation. The more you learn about reading body language the better too. Blunt people are able to continue being blunt without embarrassment because they don't see how their bluntness makes others feel. When the person you're talking to starts shifting their weight, looking around the room, stops presenting their point of view, that's a sign they're uncomfortable. When a conversation is flowing between a group of people, and you say something, and then the conversation lulls or the topic is quickly changed...that's a sign they're uncomfortable.

Anything you can read about being a compassionate listener will totally help.

djthiago1 · 2018-01-14T12:43:15+00:00

My male redpill advice: Watch old movies with actress like Katharine Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Ingrid Bergman, and Audrey Hepburn, i love them.

I'm personally inspired by Cary Grant.

CcyCV · 2018-01-14T04:13:20+00:00

Following!

Title	Learning how to speak skillfully/gracefully?
Author	labelleindifference
Upvotes	18
Comments	13
Date	January 14, 2018 12:46 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7q8le3/learning_how_to_speak_skillfullygracefully/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/learning-how-to-speak-skillfullygracefully.74093 https://theredarchive.com/post/74093

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