Outside of the house, he was timid, awkward, had very little social skills, and could not hold down a job.
Occasionally I would see him run to greet his church "friends" on the streets after work. This entailed him yelling their names, them very clearly pretending they didn't hear him, and then him running over to talk to them when it seemed like they wanted to cut the interaction short.
At home, he was prone to anger issues. He swore several times a day for simply doing normal house hold things while frequently shouting/throwing triggered tantrums at his children.
When he wasn't angry, he'd give typical blue pilled advice about looks not mattering, doing everything for a woman to win her over, and always avoiding confrontation
as a result of his advice, for the majority of middle school, hs, and uni I had terrible hygiene, wore the same clothes several days a week, and was bullied mercilessly
Any time I showed any improvement such as standing up for myself, going to the gym, trying to eat healthy, he'd actually scream at me to stop caring about that sort of "nonsense". Not give a stern lecture or a warning. Literally screamed. Like a child.
I left him at age 25 when I could no longer be guilted into helping him at his failing business and went out to get a job on my own.
But every time I see other people, I am constantly reminded of the people who had a normal upbringing. I wish I could flip a switch on my brain to stop comparing myself but I cant.
I have so much pent up resentment against this sperm donor and I just wanna move past it.
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