Do all women see their boyfriends friends as enemies?

atlas87 · 2013-11-11T07:28:23+00:00

Yeah this is definitely a thing.

tl;dr Below pretty much turned into me writing my life story the past 5 years. Whoops.

I had a great social circle in a city that I used to live in. Good mix of about 10 guys and 10 girls that all lived in the same downtown apartment complex and we went out together almost every night of the week. The girls started out as hookups and friends of hookups that ended amicably and were turned into social proof for going out. We were all pretty incestuous and there was a healthy amount of who-banged-who drama.

I had slept with a few of these girls, but made the unfortunate mistake of breaking the heart of an Alpha female I had brought into the group. We started hooking up right before my first 6-month deployment, and while I was out there, she said she wanted to wait for me. I didn't have much to lose as I was in fucking Afghanistan with a bunch of dudes for the foreseeable future and I thought it would be poetic to have someone to cry for me if I died, so I said yes thinking I could use the support of a back-home love interest.

Boy was I wrong. The group of guys back in the states was very close at this point, and all of them loved her and loved having her around. She was an exchange teacher from Spain, 26, with great style, a ridiculous body, and a perfect accent. She had friends who were also from Spain that my friends chewed through, but even after those flames went out, she became a staple in the group, and eventually it's leader.

When I got home, we got into a fight on my third night back because all I wanted to do was get my nut, and then get fucking wasted with my friends and celebrate being alive. She tried to guilt trip me when I was drunk and I told her we were done. It was a pretty brutal way to end things after she had spent 6 months waiting for me, but I was a pretty big douche. What can you do.

From there, every time I came back from a few months away, there would be people I didn't know, and friends I didn't recognize. The revenge that this Alpha Female took over the next 3 years is conceivable only by a woman scorned, and was pretty masterfully executed on her part. It literally made me into the man I am today.

First she turned the women and couple beta orbiters against me which wasn't hard. A sad aside is that one of the kids was given the nickname "Boyfriend Nick" because he was such a Beta that the thought of dating him was laughable to all the women. He of course embraced the name and was always invited out for girls night.

Next she began adding in other disgruntled girls to the group. These were girls that I or my friends had hooked up with for usually a few weeks then moved on from. One day the Alpha would be telling me what trash these girls were and disclosing the catty nicknames the group of girls had come up with for them. The next they would all be going out together for drinks during their weekly player-hater meetings, and become fully assimilated into the group. It was rapidly becoming a battle of the sexes.

But all was still good in the world. I had my boys, 3 of whom could never be turned against me. We were the eternal players, and I at the helm represented everything that was unconquerable, much to the chagrin of the Alpha female. One of my bros and I went to RSD World Summit and did a bootcamp during this period. This took our game to another level in a city we already thought we ran, and the shenanigans of trying to build bigger and bigger "bullpens" was a constant source of pure comedy. Watching the Alpha female try to get all these girls to meet in awkward situations and turn against me was adorable. Any girls that got pissed off about it could be recruited to the overall group of friends which had grown to about 50 people at this point.

About 18 months before I left the city, I deployed for a year. During this time, one of my 3 core bros got engaged to a doctor, another moved away, and the one I went on bootcamp with started dating his bottom bitch. It started before the winter which I thought was acceptable because no one really goes out when it's 10 below. He assured me that she would be out of the picture by time I got back in the summer and we'd be back at it, going 30 for 30 (trying to sleep with 30 new girls in 1 month), and trying to build a bullpen 6..7..8-deep without it crashing down in horrifying (read: hilarious) fashion. BTW calling "going on a run" the "30 for 30" is so much funnier because during this time, almost all sentences start with "what if I told you...." when recounting the previous night's sexual conquests.

When I made my triumphant return after a year in Afghanistan, bootcamp bro was still with his bottom bitch (who hated me), one of my boys was getting it in with the Alpha and was embarrased about it (I literally couldn't care less and was surprised it took that long), and the rest had pretty much paired off with other girls that had been turned against me. I remember going straight from the airport to breakfast on a Saturday morning where about 20 of my friends were. Saturday and Sunday brunch after a night of boozing was a pretty sacred tradition, and allowed everyone to piece together the snippets they remembered to try to recreate the night. Also, all of our original group of guys were military, so "going away" and "welcome home" parties are usually that, parties.

When I walked in after having not seen these guys for a year, most of whom I had gone to war with and had known for all of my adult life, only the core 3 got up to welcome me back. The rest were just sitting there staring at their food and most didn't say a single word to me the whole morning. My friends had been turned against me. The Alpha laughed and told me she was sad to see that I made it home.

CONT:

Clauderoughly · 2013-11-11T06:26:41+00:00

This is a series of shit tests that you are failing.

NEVER give up your friends for a woman because she has no loyalty to you.

This is also a tactic used by abusive people to destroy your support network and people who may call her on her bullshit.

http://www.shrink4men.com/2013/05/29/abused-men-how-covert-abuse-begins-part-one/

500_lizards · 2013-11-11T05:25:35+00:00

isolating the man helps when they try to enforce their own solipilistic view. it also makes the man more dependent on the relationship.

Marsupian · 2013-11-11T04:26:10+00:00

Of course.

Women's natural instinct is to weed out all competition. They first ensure you're no longer attached to any ex-girlfriends by trying to make you feel bad about talking to them or being facebook friends with them. They will resort to crying and yelling.

Then they want to make sure you care more about them than your friends. She'll do small compliance tests here and there such as making you choose between something fun with them and something basic with her. The more narcissistic the woman, the further she'll need to drive you apart.

[deleted] · 2013-11-11T19:49:44+00:00

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fragglemook · 2013-11-11T09:06:32+00:00

I read this as "Do all women see their boyfriends as enemies?"

I came here expecting to find confirmation of that.

[deleted] · 2013-11-11T09:46:30+00:00

I dont think its anywhere near as simple as saying they all do it, i think its a convergence of 2 different characteristics that make it seem a bit more prevailant than it is.

A: The tendency of women to do this. It does exist dont get me wrong ive had it myself with a couple of LTRs. One almost succeeded in separating me from my entire social circle and moving me from the east to the west coast. And its a LOT of women, most in fact.

B: The tendency for men to sometimes, especially if they arent RP, allow themselves to naturally let their friendships atrophy by lack of maintenance as they gravitate more towards their LTRs.

Between the 2 you see a massive tendency for men to get cut off from all or part of their social circle but i would suggest that in this case it genuinely is the situation that NAWALT (just most) and that the shortfall is mostly being made up by males failing to set themselves boundaries and prioritising friendships.

My current LTR for example has never once attempted to stop me, or make me feel bad for seeing friends, even the ones whos actions she really disapproves of (Cheaters, criminal activities, etc), in return i dont shame her for her friends, though she did shame herself over one and cut him off. (Early relationship, he's clearly gay just not out, they used to go on "date type situations" where he would take her to a tea parlour and stuff. I genuinely had no problem with it because he was clearly homosexual and she couldnt be less attracted to him if he had 3 heads. She decided not to do it any more because it could be construed as "Disrespectful" to me. I believe my response was "Ok thanks i guess, do it or dont, i dont really care either way. He could have his dick in you, he still wouldnt have the balls to fuck"

trplurker · 2013-11-11T04:57:54+00:00

She's seeking to turn him into a perfect beta provider. Dual evolved sexual strategy, extract DNA from best possible dark triad natural alpha then extract resources from perfectly compliant beta provider.

andromede8 · 2013-11-11T15:11:29+00:00

Yeah I know some women who does that, but they're not the majority (well, from were I live). The reason is always the same : ''your friend are idiots and bad influence '' wich you can translate by : ''I dont like when you go out with your friends because i'm afraid you would cheat on me''. EVERY single woman I know who does that are insecure freak.

[deleted] · 2013-11-11T12:50:05+00:00

Yes because it makes men more dependent in a relationship when he has nothing but her left.

Same thing goes with families, women will always try to lure men as far away as possible from his family however she more often than not put her family problems on to him. In the end he is basically more close to her family then his. And GOD FORBID you have a good relationships with your own mother.

mykart · 2013-11-11T15:55:46+00:00

Been there done that and yes they all pretty much do this. In the end I found that my happiness is directly correlated with the amount of friends I have and not whether I am in a long term relationship with a female.

PaulRivers10 · 2013-11-11T21:55:41+00:00

To be fair, one of the reasons why women do this is because this is what they do to themselves.

Have you ever talked to women about their friendships with other women? As a guy, I can be friends with women. I'm pretty good at it. Our friendship will survive her having a boyfriend - but not her having a SERIOUS boyfriend, unless that boyfriend is a guy I was friends with before the relationship began.

I thought it was just because I was a guy. Then I started asking more women about it, and watching, and women lose at least 50% of their female friends when they get into a "serious" relationship as well.

So after a while, if this isn't happening to you, they start to feel like something is wrong. They gave up all their friends - why haven't you done the same thing??

The other problem is that guys have a very different system. Girls are constantly challenging each other, and they get used to how to respond to not get shut out. Guys's system doesn't work in the same way, and he doesn't know that he has to respond somehow.

Kombaiya · 2013-11-11T15:26:20+00:00

Thanks for the replies. I agree with them all really but I was hoping there'd be some ideas on how to avoid friendships being broken up before it's too late and before they become mindless drones.

grandmazboy · 2013-11-11T17:09:46+00:00

In my experience there are exceptions to the rule. Yes, most of the time your buddies will sway further away if a new bitch is in the picture. But that's more of their fault than it is the woman's. She's going to manipulate no matter what, but because the man buys it - he has less time for pals.

My best friend's girlfriend (5 years, ugh) didn't stop him from hanging out with us back in high school. But I resented her for taking up all his free time away from shenanigans. But now we get along and she has a fuck ton of hot friends that I get first dibs on gaming. And my friend can't have none of that so his loss is my gain...

Just saying that they won't always be a problem for camaraderie. But 99.9% of the time, there will be.

SheriffBart42 · 2013-11-11T17:25:53+00:00

I haven't had any of them try to eliminate me. I'm fairly chummy with them all. It's more the amount/type of interactions.

TooTurnt · 2013-11-11T19:52:40+00:00

This is 100% true, anyone women who denies this is deluding herself. Anything that takes away from her time without providing her a benefit is unacceptable. A mans time is currency, and she doesn't want to share a single dollar.

HGLucky · 2013-11-12T03:46:44+00:00

Nope my ex saw them as fuck buddies...more power to her!

selfishgene32 · 2013-11-12T04:53:30+00:00

Hi,

I have not surprised , this is typical Narcisst Behaviour. Checkout this link. http://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/Alienation.html

[deleted] · 2013-11-12T07:36:43+00:00

Only the insecure ones. Most girls are insecure, for whatever reason. Many a comedian has pointed out how it goes - check out Bill Maher (against marriage, pretty RP) skit about it. He says that in the eyes of his married best friend's wife, he is the escaped slave who brings tales of freedom from the north.

And it's true. If I was a girl who has schemed to lock down a guy way better than me, you think I would let him hang out around his college boys, the ones who would remind him of the life he could be living? Fuck no. Abusive people isolate, isolate, isolate. Men or women. In today's society, it is easy to isolate men from their support network (other guys who have not been infected with betaness as they aged).

A woman can ensure her man only hangs out with other bitchmen (you will notice a general trend that women do not want their guy around single males or bachelors, but they looove the couple dates). This is simple - it creates a reality-distortion field and all parties begin to accept a chained existence as the norm.

[deleted] · Mon Nov 11 9:08:00 2013 UTC

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[deleted] · 2013-11-11T11:28:18+00:00

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Title	Do all women see their boyfriends friends as enemies?
Author	Kombaiya
Upvotes	42
Comments	44
Date	November 11, 2013 4:16 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1qcs4x/do_all_women_see_their_boyfriends_friends_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/do-all-women-see-their-boyfriends-friends-as.7851 https://theredarchive.com/post/7851

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