Unknowns causing anxiety

Latter_Ad_6840 · 2021-06-18T17:02:28+00:00

If you have only been together for one month that's a bit too early to discuss finances/concrete life plans imo. Maybe that's just me though, the first 3-4-6 months in a relationship should be to get to know one another, unless if you are in your 30s or something then that should be a bit rushed.

However I know that this kind of sucks, like, as women we are expected to give everything in hopes it all works out without any guarantee, but the thing is if you feel something is off trust your gut. Like for my current boyfriend, he makes me feel extremely secure/loved so that is not an issue for me and I am finding myself able to relax and enjoy it, he adds value to my life and I genuinely enjoy the time we spend together for the sake of itself. If you don't feel that way, you should question the relationship. I would say back off a bit and see if he chases you, not in a playing-hard-to-get way, just see if he reciprocates your efforts basically. If this man is bad for your sanity dump him, don't put him on a pedestal just because of his wealth. I remember being in relationships that made me question my sanity and it really does not have to be like that.

At worst, he has commitment issues and is dangling a carrot, at best he is being honest, but you can usually tell from the subtleties of his behavior.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-06-18T16:25:06+00:00

Any man who says he doesn’t want to reveal his cards early gives me bad vibes. What cards is he even talking about? His long term goals? His hopes and dreams?

Generally letting the man lead is the goal. You don’t want to twist his arm into commitment or exclusivity, he should be offering it easily and readily at an appropriate time. If it’s been a month and you’re still in situation-ship territory, it might be time to simply ask where he sees the relationship going. Anything wishy washy, I would end it. He either knows what he wants or he’s stringing you along.

berrylikeova · 2021-06-18T16:44:05+00:00

I dunno it sounds like he isn’t that interested in long term with you for real. I’m confused as to what “cards” he’s holding onto? Are these actually red flags he knows to keep close to the chest until you’re committed? Of course if you’re talking about commitment this is the time to put out those cards.

pathalienation · 2021-06-18T17:14:26+00:00

Intuition is the voice inside you that loves you and protects you. Maybe you are anxious about something that doesn’t feel right. It’s hard to differentiate plausible and fair anxiety versus “over reactions.” Listen to your self attentively, keep talking things over with others, and the fullness of the situation will show itself.

GreatOrchidAmbition · 2021-06-18T18:47:45+00:00

he sounds shady. money discussions are one thing but goals and plans for life are fair game. If he doesn't want to discuss future life goals with you its because he sees you as a plaything for the right now before something presumably better (lol they always think there's better) comes along.

I would distance myself and try to find new men in the meantime otherwise you'll be dragged along for the ride with someone who isn't serious about you. Tbh I would just give this up/drop entirely. I know what i'm talking about here and am pretty confident with my assessment. He thinks he deserves better because he's wealthy/will marry someone his parents have arranged for him after using you, wasting your time/beauty/etc.

Title	Unknowns causing anxiety
Author	fairy_s
Upvotes	16
Comments	7
Date	June 18, 2021 3:35 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/o2rvtq/unknowns_causing_anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/unknowns-causing-anxiety.791753 https://theredarchive.com/post/791753

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