My GF visited her ex's house. How should I handle this?

creating_my_life · 2016-12-28T05:40:00+00:00

You aren't being jealous or controlling. You feel uncomfortable for good reason. It is inappropriate and you don't have to allow her to do anything you feel uncomfortable with. The fact that she went through hanging out with her exes sister who she hasn't seen since before she dated this guy tells you a lot about her, especially since she knew you were uncomfortable with it. She also started by saying Tom wouldn't know but surprise surprise, he knows now, and he's asking about her... I can tell you for certain that people don't often hang out with their exes and keep it strictly platonic, and it seems like she's on the path to hanging out with her ex. How would your girlfriend feel about you hanging out with one of your exes or their brother? Above all else, trust your gut. I had times where I felt uncomfortable in past relationships and didn't give enough attention to my feeling uncomfortable when I really should have.

I encourage you to start reading through the sidebar over on our main subreddit and see what you think of it. That info has helped many of us here immensely and I think if you give it a chance you will find that it can help you a lot too. Good luck and let me know if you have any further questions.

DadOnDabs · 2016-12-28T05:42:36+00:00

Relationships will tell you to trust her cause it's full of pussy whipped men who can't get laid and women who you should not be taking advice from. First and foremost if she continues to go over there they will (if they haven't already) have sex. My bet is that she's already cheating on you. Tell her that if she wants to hang out with her then do it away from the home. Don't cry like a bitch and beg her. Just say in a calm tone, "If you hang out with you're friend again do it somewhere else." If she questions it just say "Imagine what it's like to be in my shoes." Anymore resistance from her and she's already fucking him.

Yashugan00 · 2016-12-28T10:03:10+00:00

/r/relationships said I was being jealous and controlling

Never listen to women for relationship advice.

Also, welcome to the sub. Sidebar is there ---> (hold fast it's a bumpy ride, truth bombs going to be hard hitting )

Short answer, she's lonely, misses the good old days of warmth and security and belonging this family gives her. In her head she's in a big romance movie, and you're a side character.

Mate guarding is only going to speed up the process. She'll use it to post rationalise her branch swinging back. You're going to be that guy, her jealous and possessive ex which will have her old bf white knight his way back in.

your best move is to start distancing yourself, hopefully soon enough that she starts chasing and committing to you ISO her ex.

Remember, if she's going to dump you she will do it only when she's ensured she's got a firm hold on the ex. So she's in that interim period where she's playing you both.

Also, btw, I know this seems like kind of like a big deal right now, and you're in love with this girl, but you just have to believe that whatever happens: You're going to be alright. Believe in yourself.

Ps don't show weakness, never let a girl see you cry.

the-bum-hammer · 2016-12-28T13:08:16+00:00

My GF visited her ex's house and swallowed his cum again. How should I handle this?

When you word it properly, the answer is obvious.

the-bum-hammer · 2016-12-28T13:12:44+00:00

This has happened. /r/relationships said I was being jealous and controlling so I followed their advice and when she sent me a text about it I didn't say anything about it because I was bothered and didn't know what to say, so I held my tongue as much as I possibly could instead of telling her what I thought. And she actually went through with it and went. I just don't know how to handle this sort of issue. Caring makes me it seem like I don't trust her(according to /r/relationships), not caring makes me feel like a fool.

Whether or not you like red pill subs, the relationships sub is full of feminists and henpecked males. They all will side with women in stories until it has been proven that the woman was cheating. Even then, they want to know what you did to "make her cheat."

Women are very good at scheming. In other words, either Bella doesn't know of her plan, doesn't exist at all, or is part of the plan to say her brother wasn't there if she needs to so they have time to fuck.

bigk12345 · 2016-12-28T05:51:00+00:00

Listen, and listen carefully.

The first rule is you need to read the sidebar. The sidebar explains all the theory about women and their nature.

Whoever sent you a message is a God sent and you should thank him.

Relationshit sub is just full of a bunch of pussies and women giving advice.

Depending on what you do with the information given to you, you are either going to embark on a journey of your life after reading the sidebar or you just going to keep soaking up lies that society tells you about relationships.

Your reaction and gut are sending you signals and for the right reasons. Your girlfriend's behaviour is not normal and should not be tolerated.

She is either fucking the guy, getting ready to dump you for him, or she is an alpha widow. Women will never tell you the entire truth, hence "trickle truth" if anything happens.

Most women will not dump their boyfriends unless they are "branch swinging" aka upgrading to a "better" partner ( in her opinion)

The bottom line is she is flat out disrespecting you and she is not girlfriend material. Most of the guys here will tell you to NEXT her ( dump her) and cut all contact.

Read this article by Rollo Tomassi, a living legend and TRP godfather.

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/therationalmale.com/2011/09/06/the-medium-is-the-message/amp/

Heathcliff-- · Wed Dec 28 13:27:39 2016 UTC

[deleted]
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.9024

What is this?

deville05 · 2016-12-28T09:23:44+00:00

You feeling inappropriate is completely reasonable. But your biggest mistake is that you trust her completely. That's a shit test that you failed. Like children, people push the boundaries of trust. If your trust is complete, then there is no boundary. She will do whatever she can if you don't draw a line of no return because there are no repercussions with you. Sooner or later, you will suffer. Be prepared to walk away and never look back if some lines are crossed. Which btw she has slowly done. There is no way she is not gonna fool around with Tom even just a little bit unless Tom has a wife

Lice138 · 2016-12-28T14:48:04+00:00

Fuck that, think about it for a min. Why would you visit your ex? Needs to go over to her house to "visit the family dog" and "girl time", I smell bullshit.

I trust her completely...I'm not worried about her lying about her Bella or Tom being at work.

No you don't, if you did then you wouldn't be here asking what to do.

Go with your gut bro, if you feel like something is wrong then there definitely is.

renzmeister · 2016-12-28T15:36:23+00:00

Trust your gut. Even if she doesn't "cheat", she has thought about a possible rendezvous with her ex. This is the beginning of the end.

huge_gap · 2016-12-28T17:08:26+00:00

You trust her because you're young and inexperienced and WANT to trust her. The shit she's doing is sketchy. The fact that she said "he'll be at work" and all the other factors shows that she thinks very deeply about logistics and has figured out what to say to make you at ease.

Trust your gut. What she's doing is inappropriate. Sounds like this guy was her first serious relationship. Young girls take a long time to fully get over those. She is bored with you and wants to reignite the flame under your radar but do it safely with you as backup in case it doesn't work out.

I would say tell her she can't visit anymore but at this point it's too late and she's already ran wild. It's clear she does what she wants to do without consulting you (or at least making a fake showing of consulting you when she just does what she wants).

Dump her and move on. There are soooo many girls out there. Girls are a hobby. Embrace abundance mentality and drop her like it's hot.

Arcturus_ · 2016-12-28T19:29:39+00:00

I trust her completely.

If nothing else, know that this is pure idiocy. Never put all your trust into anyone.

nastynickdr · 2016-12-28T21:03:46+00:00

First, decide if you are OK with her going to his house or not.

If not, you state: "I wont be in a relationship with someone who keeps in touch with her ex". You dont explain why, you dont rationalize, you dont defend, you just STATE it. She may call you an asshole, controlling, you dont trust me, blah blah blah. You hold your point. "I understand the way you feel, but I wont be in a relationship with someone who keeps in touch with her ex". You cant stop her from going, but if she goes, she is no longer your GF.

You should read no more mr nice guy and when i say no i feel guilty.

[deleted] · 2016-12-28T13:17:06+00:00

Nearly everything in that other sub is horseshit. It is natural for you to feel this way. You're in a shitty situation, obviously.

If you had abundance, then you could leave a relationship that made you feel this way.

Also it's interesting that you don't know how your girlfriend burned a bridge. Cheating? Bad behavior?

Edit: only one comment on your other thread was good, the one about switching genders and getting advice. Notice that hardly anyone there cared about your feelings or understood. It's because women nearly always back each other and they also want it to be okay for them to do these things while in relationships.

Willow-girl · 2016-12-28T16:00:21+00:00

The only person you can control is yourself. You can decide whether this is a deal-breaker for you or not.

brinkleybuzz · 2016-12-28T17:01:19+00:00

You have a right to be concerned. She's putting herself in a position where she could end up cheating. Tell her that if she does this you can't trust her to hold up her end of the deal and it tells you that she isn't serious about having a committed relationship. Be prepared to walk away if she keeps doing this.

jb_trp · 2016-12-28T17:42:48+00:00

Your girlfriend doesn't have good boundaries. How would she feel about you hanging out with your ex's family? Probably not good. How long have you been with her?

Basically, it comes down to this: Her boundaries suck and it's a red flag. I honestly believe if she respected you and were committed to you the way a LTR should be, she would find other friends and leave the past in the past. But she doesn't.

You have a few options. The easiest one is to just dump her and find a better girlfriend. The second would be to apply nuclear dread game and see if she changes her ways (not likely, the better option is to just demote her to a plate and move on).

LowInhibitionSlayer3 · 2016-12-28T18:30:32+00:00

didn't read wall of text. just the title. If you have to ask this...

Some will say to leave her. I say beat/get revenge on her. If she dares to defy you, she should suffer the consequences. Stop being pussies, people!

Vajesticles · 2016-12-29T03:26:47+00:00

This post takes me back to my pre-TRP days when I was too caught up with my oneitis. I visited the r/relationships subreddit almost religiously for guidance. I was so oblivious to how badly that place was bluepilling and weakening me as a man.

PantsonFire1234 · 2017-01-03T01:59:55+00:00

I didnt even read your wall of text. Dude learn to be brief. If your girlfriend is engaging with her ex that can never be a good thing. Either she's shit testing you, keeping her options open or considering a branch swing. Either way, dismiss and ignore her.

Title	My GF visited her ex's house. How should I handle this?
Author	uwatnoww
Upvotes	18
Comments	35
Date	December 28, 2016 5:22 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5kojma/my_gf_visited_her_exs_house_how_should_i_handle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/my-gf-visited-her-exs-house-how-should-i-handle.79820 https://theredarchive.com/post/79820

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