We have been married for 19 years in July. The first 5 years were a friggin Disney love story. It was magic! We started having issues after our second child when my wife had postpartum depression. I was immature and not the best husband. She had a couple of affairs shortly thereafter.
We went to counseling (both half heartedly) and got back to being married without ever dealing with the hurt we had done each other. We have both hurt each other frequently and deeply.

Fast forward to March: we both buck up and say that we are unhappy in our relationship. She wants to date other people. I am ok with that for a couple days then realize that I still love her a lot. I suggest counseling, she declines. End of April, I discover she has been having a non physical (but sexual) affair since December with a former boyfriend who lives in England . She lied to my face about it more than once.

We have had more deep, honest and real conversations in the past 3 months than in the past 10 years. When she lets her guard down during those conversations, the compatibility is still there.

She continues to see him as we start couples therapy and tells me she is “conflicted”. I have given her space and time to make a decision, but time keeps dragging on.

I love her. I KNOW that if we both commit and do the work, a happy life and marriage await. How long do I wait for her to chose?

As I write this, I sound like a whiney Ass mommas boy that’s should just ask her to leave. But, I know we have a future....