They cannot serve two masters (for those dealing with infidelity)

sicrm · 2021-06-08T05:27:46+00:00

pick me dance is the worst thing anyone can do. that just makes makes the little respect left evaporate.

saw plenty of stories where they won’t even sleep with their spouse because that’s “cheating” on the AP!

the best route to confront the cheater with two doors. one door is a post-nup, the other is divorce papers.

staying with a cheater without a post-nup is almost guaranteeing it’ll happen again.

Meatros · 2021-06-08T13:45:48+00:00

The religious stuff aside, it's true. The reality is that someone engaged in infidelity does not love the person they are cheating on. They are actively abusing that person and using them for resources. It's debatable whether they love the affair partner - most often they love the persona that the affair partner imbues in them - it's all about them. Egoism at the expense of traumatizing all those involved.

If she's cheating......it would take a divine miracle to make it back. The toothpaste isn't going back in the tube......also......you'd always have in the back of your mind that she cheated once.......what's keeping her from doing it again.

Here's the truth, the person you 'want back' is not the person who cheated. When you discover infidelity you discover a lot more than your partner willing to take actions they know will hurt you - you discover that they aren't the person you thought they were. The ideal spouse you thought you knew never existed. In their place is a person who has no problem using and abusing you. This disconnect can lead to denial and a lot of pain.

The pick me dance is a product of this - it's denial and the attempt to get the ideal partner back. That 'partner' never existed though and once you realize it you won't want them back. Why would you? Why would anyone want someone who can flippantly ignore vows and so callously hurt their partner? No one wants someone like that.

SecondChantzes · 2021-06-08T14:47:12+00:00

It IS gross.

Cheating is a show stopper for me. Fast and immediate. The relationship is over once I confirm that cheating is or has happened.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-06-08T18:51:56+00:00

> you'd always have in the back of your mind that she cheated once.......what's keeping her from doing it again.

Cheaters are repeaters.

> I'll win her back

Never take an ex back. She got dumped by her new man and you are her Plan B. Never allow yourself to be a consolation prize. Even if you get back with her, she will always see you as that weak man who let go of his principles just for her. It’s not romantic, it’s soy. Never go back to those that rejected you because you have now what they rejected you for not having back then. You’re more than just utility. Have some dignity. You’ll never be able to trust her, and other women will treat you better.

2021-06-08T15:40:59+00:00

Women will do whatever they have to do in order to secure what they want for themselves. What's fair or what's just does not compute with them, and shouldn't be on the table as being options for men either. Assuming that a woman will play fair and be honest during a divorce or through a cheating episode is a great error for man, and women will take advantage of your ignorance.

Ok-Scallion-2508 · 2021-06-09T05:35:51+00:00

Firstly, I dont discriminate. i have to say the men from Asian culture handle this situation is better than men from US, western culture.

Asian men are “selfish” ( Asian women said that). They just want their women belong to them ( no way for Asian friends to say hello by hug or kiss). So when the infidelity happen, Asian men just choose only 1 way to leave the women. No mercy, no negotiation. Asian men just simply think that pussy get fucked by other cocks.

US/ western men are different. “ equality” , “ modern life style” of US/ Western culture give women too much right. A married women can hang out with other men, hug other men,… when infidelity happen, US/western men firstly choose to do therapy to go over to keep maintain the relationship. But it never works

Title	They cannot serve two masters (for those dealing with infidelity)
Author	oli_21_
Upvotes	43
Comments	16
Date	June 8, 2021 5:01 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/nuwttj/they_cannot_serve_two_masters_for_those_dealing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/they-cannot-serve-two-masters-for-those-dealing.816810 https://theredarchive.com/post/816810

Comments