broken by the system

sicrm · 2021-01-10T00:22:47+00:00

divorces like this are why some guys would rather skip the country than deal with family court

No_more_BPD_2020 · 2021-01-10T00:48:58+00:00

I don't have near the property you do. I can tell you my two attorney friends and two paid attorneys all told me not to hide a penny. My friend who used to do divorce law told me if the judge gets the idea you shuffled money around, they'll give the wife every red cent.

That said, I hear you, brother! When people talk about who gets the TV or quibbling over 'what they can afford', I know they're not getting divorced in CA, or have no idea what's going to happen. There's no discount for being unemployed or unable to afford to rent a place.

Hang in there. It does get better!

SkullValleyCowboy · 2021-01-10T03:14:31+00:00

Get Tuff bro. Sounds like you a “do the right thing” guy .... so DOnt do that now. Get selfish. Get gangster. Fuck her. Get yours. Cash out, act like u went to Vegas and lost it. Have a family or friend u know hold the money and get it when dust settles. You’re a fool if u don’t.

Meathead89gonzo · 2021-01-10T01:26:05+00:00

Bro. I know this is going to sound fucked. Drain all of your accounts. Find a friend/family member to live rent free for a solid year. Get a minimum wage job and ask for a reduction. Claim you are mentally unstable and needed to take a low stressful Job. Then when it’s lowered 1099 your self and hide money. At this point just hide money.

akihonj · 2021-01-09T23:41:25+00:00

Sorry dude I don't ha e anything good to give you, I was in the UK and went through that same, I bounced back afterwards but it was a huge amount of work.

On the other side your post itself should be mandatory reading for any man thinking of getting married especially any man in California.

I'd love to give you sympathy here but I got out of California a few years ago, and your story is all far too common.

chris-berry-1 · 2021-01-09T23:42:16+00:00

No idea. But dude, I sincerely hope you find something, someway to get this shit behind you. One day again you’ll feel liberated brother.

research002019 · 2021-01-10T02:06:25+00:00

I'm not sure about the law in your state, but in mine, if your spouse is a beneficiary on your retirement accounts, they have to sign off on early withdrawals.

Not sure about a loan taken against your retirement accounts though.

pothos72z · 2021-01-10T19:55:00+00:00

Drain retirement and live with a family/friend and reset alimony levels while unemployed. Don’t leave the country or do anything illegal that will ultimately prevent you from seeing your kids, at least not anytime soon. You can move all the money into crypto (BTC/ETH) thru family or a friend $25k at a time over 8 days via coinbase if you want to move the cash untouchably around the world with global access. Message me if you want more technical guidance.

RepresentativeOk5968 · 2021-01-30T17:11:25+00:00

So sorry to hear this. I do know that alimony is based on ability to pay. If you are unemployed, then your ability to pay is severely restricted. You should be able to get it reduced. They should not be expecting you to loot your retirement accounts to pay her alimony.

Of course this is CA so who knows. If it gets bad, maybe you liquidate everything and move to a non-extradition country. She can't squeeze what she can't grasp. (I'm only half joking here)

brainenfuego · 2021-01-31T03:17:53+00:00

Join gamblers anonymous. Now. Start draining your account, go to casinos and lose a hundred dollars in nickel slots every week for a couple months or so, hiding as much as you can in a freaking plastic bag buried in your flower pot. Get a minimum wage job so your alimony is based on that amount. When the divorce is finalized, buy yourself a ticket to SE Asia or Phillipines and peace out

piratepastfifty · 2021-01-10T01:25:04+00:00

You have spent 100k in legal fees so far, and haven’t been told by your legal team that hiding money, especially traceable retirement funds, is a bad idea, you need a new attorney. Everything is traceable once it hits the bank.

Best to stop wasting money, settle and move on. She cheated 17 years ago? That doesn’t really matter, especially when you stayed. What does your 100k lawyer say?

You’ll always make more money

danllo2 · 2021-01-10T06:39:55+00:00

Bro, try to file for bankruptcy. It might wipe away some or all of your debts including issues with the divorce.

Title	broken by the system
Author	no-1-u-know
Upvotes	23
Comments	18
Date	January 9, 2021 11:36 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ku29ui/broken_by_the_system/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/broken-by-the-system.817572 https://theredarchive.com/post/817572

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