I am trying to figure out how I can keep my house. She's been a stay at home mom for some time but she forced that on me and knows - it's one of the big reasons we are here. She could never understand why i was so stressed from having to support our family by myself while she went off to her PTA breakfasts and shit like that. I digress.

I don't want to lose the house I've worked so hard for, it's ironic because I hated this house when we bought it but I've spent so much money, my own sweat remodeling it that I am not ready to leave it. I know I won't stay in it forever and would like to trade up with the right opportunity but right now I want to keep it and I don't want to defer paying her out of it. I want my freedom from her. I have money in my retirement account, a few investments and might be able to swing a bit of cash-out on a refi but all of that means I will end up paying more. It might be throwing good money to maintain a bad position. It is the only home my boys have ever known though and I want them to be able to stay in it, unless they don't want to like she doesn't. She says it is full of painful memories and there are some but it's still my home.

How do I buy her out? I'd probably need $350-400k