Not drinking at parties

mbillion · 2017-03-04T16:00:37+00:00

In my opinion of you're going to the party you have to have a need to be there. Of course meeting people and getting laid is a reason, but that comes off thirsty as hell.

At a beer party I view people who aren't drinking, being a sober cab, or have some other normal reason to be there add weird.

Not drinking is your choice. But part of rp and part of being an adult is recognizing that context is everything. Why insert yourself in the context, colleges are full of opportunities that aren't all night booze parties, however your fomo is competing with your rp goals.

Don't go to the party if you aren't going to engage in the context. College is real easy time to meet women and I ensure you that if you look for it and engage in it you will find social activities that line up with the life you see for yourself.

I do personally contend that alcohol is necessary. It permeates culture. Not booze hounding all night parties, but it's a very pervasive part of society - especially society as it pertains to high power and status careers and top tier societal events

Archwinger · 2017-03-04T19:02:36+00:00

There is absolutely nothing wrong with not drinking.

But going around telling people that you're not drinking, explaining why you're not drinking, justifying why it's okay not to drink at this occasion, and so forth is stupid and weird.

When you're sipping some clear fizzy liquid from a glass that includes ice and a wedge of lime, you don't need to run around telling all of the women within earshot that it's just club soda, then begin explaining why you're not drinking and why it's okay.

abdada · 2017-03-04T15:22:40+00:00

I don't drink at parties.

I always had strong reasons for it, and those reasons tended to amplify my SMV. The drinking is neither here nor there. Having a glass of seltzer never hurt my SMV except with alcoholic loser women, maybe.

One good benefit of not drinking at parties is meeting other men who don't imbibe -- and connecting/networking with them. Of course, this won't work well in high school or college but pays dividends later in life.

I'm not 100% sober by any means, but I need a good reason to have a glass of booze.

EVILEMU · 2017-03-04T17:40:39+00:00

There's tons of places on college to meet people. Literally hundreds of unique clubs to join. Find something that doesn't focus on drinking of you don't want to drink. It's not weird at a party but you will get asked a couple times about it. That can even be an ice breaker.

Thizzlebot · 2017-03-04T18:30:04+00:00

I've heard women, in general, perceive men who don't drink as higher value socially.

That's not true. If anything it makes you seem weird for being a straightedge. It's ok to not drink though and it's a great choice to not do it but you will not look "cooler" by abstaining.

silver-gun · 2017-03-04T19:30:32+00:00

Not drinking is good.

But it's a fact that when everybody's drinking and you're not, you might seem like an outsider.

flashbang123 · 2017-03-04T18:15:25+00:00

Just drink a club soda, cocktail or beer and nurse it. Or - start meeting people outside parties. If you're at a college party I guarantee most girls will be wasted and falling down, try another place if you want to have a real conversation.

Heathcliff-- · 2017-03-04T15:42:52+00:00

I find its a good opener and women really grill you on it.

Also shows self control which is an attractive quality.

Viking_RnP · 2017-03-04T19:52:35+00:00

I got drunk drunk all the time when I was younger. Now I have a relationship with alcohol where I never get unexpectedly drunk. I don't think about pacing myself. It just happens.

I find that a lot of men who "don't drink" never had the experience of drinking. Whether it's because they "didn't like the taste" or have bad relationships with it and how it effects others. I had a friend who was scared to drink again because of how fucked up be got one time. I see it all as live and learn.

At the end of the day whatever is keeping you sober probably isn't your "willpower." You're probably just anxious about what could happen. You don't have confidence in your ability to control your consumption and know how tolerant you are to specific alcohols. An example would be the guy who is comfortable after 4 beers but then takes a shot and suddenly is black out drunk. You don't know what you can handle.

If you think not drinking heightens your SMV that just tells me you like sober chicks. Alike people attract one another.

VonPalm · 2017-03-04T21:53:51+00:00

Though I've never been sober at a party(because how would that be remotely fun, unless you were rolling or something) I used to own a party house and have a friend who had too many DUI's so he couldn't drink cause of some breathalizer thing. Lemme tell you... The dudes found it RAPEY as all hell! To see a sober dude hitting on drunk girls. Not smart or cool. Don't do it, sry mang

CallMeHaseo · 2017-03-04T17:34:30+00:00

I feel like depending on the reason it can give you higher smv but you have to play it right.

muddynips · 2017-03-04T19:15:05+00:00

It comes off well to most people. The only people you lose are the ragers; people who came there specifically to get smashed. That's a concession I can easily live with.

It's also ridiculously easy to spin into a positive. As long as you are fun and confident (not pretending; you should BE confident), you can spin not drinking into your diet and lay down some subtle flirtation about your physique. Or just simply say, "I decided not to" without giving an explanation, and watch her get wet as you stand there.

DadOnDabs · 2017-03-04T23:16:53+00:00

You can not drink at a party as long as you have another reason to be there. Be dancing or socializing the whole time.

pisspoordecisions · 2017-03-05T05:04:13+00:00

Sorry man, in college a lot of girls are gonna think you're weird for not drinking. It can also be perceived as creepy if you're sober and trying to get with drunk girls.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with not drinking, and post grad life it definitely is perceived as a positive with a lot of women. But in college you're pretty much fucked socially if you don't.

Kalidane · 2017-03-05T07:44:41+00:00

When a young man named Arnold went partying in the woods with booze, smoke, and bitches, he was also pondering this question. /S

To put this another way: if you write a list of problems, ordered from most significant to least, you would have different questions to ask.

Unless oral steroids are involved, it isn't clear what you "know" of the problems with 5 beers at a party.

Vanqhuix · 2017-03-05T16:51:07+00:00

I don't know about you, but going to a party sober for me is the worst thing ever. You are on a completely different wavelength than others.

Some people will ask about it, people don't really give a shit, and nobody considers you higher value. In the long run people will probably think that it's weird if you often go to parties and never drink.

sd4c · 2017-03-05T18:37:08+00:00

Try daygame. The chicks are hotter, have lower n-count, you'll have less buyer's remorse because darkness hides flaws, and you won't end up with a partygirl sloot bringing your gains down

a_nus · 2017-03-04T20:34:22+00:00

I think there's a sweet spot in terms of how drinking affects your SMV. The guy who can drink two or three beers and just chill, in my experience, is perceived as higher SMV than the one who refuses to drink at all costs, and the other one who gets shitfaced.

It boils down to: not drinking at all means you care too much. Drinking too much means you don't have self control.

smirk_addict · 2017-03-04T16:53:09+00:00

I don't drink at all. Just never had any interest in it. I guess I did have people perceive me as higher value. I honestly never thought about that. I just knew it felt weird when interacting with tipsy girls. But in retrospect, It probably came off as stoic because I didn't hate on other people if they wanted to drink. I even had someone say to me at a party once, "Whenever you talk I feel like I should listen."

This was all later in life though. It wasn't really like that in college. Most people were drinking to just get wasted. During that time, I had no value. I just looked awkward and lame. College parties are usually just a zoo of Chad Dude Bros, and hot girls with extreme plausible deniability. You have to pay to play to an extent. But if you talk to girls before they get too wasted and be always looking to isolate. You can be fine. I didn't have the social skills I have now when I was college. So that's one thing as well.

Title	Not drinking at parties
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	17
Comments	37
Date	March 4, 2017 3:20 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5xhc8w/not_drinking_at_parties/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/not-drinking-at-parties.83641 https://theredarchive.com/post/83641

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