Facebook-Is ok to use for RPW ? Yay or Nay?

[deleted] · 2014-01-28T22:10:31+00:00

There's nothing inherently wrong with social media sites, but they can be used to promote and advertise bad behavior. For example, women can use it as a tool to publicly shame and humiliate their SO's. I believe there was a thread on this sub not to long ago about a woman that berated her husband over Christmas gifts, and other people sympathized with her situation. Social media sites can also be used to post suggestive and inappropriate pictures. Just be mindful of what you put on your profiles. Businesses will routinely check applicants social media footprint when considering them for a job. So if you have a lot of half-naked photos, you may be passed over. Some women use these sites as validation and will go fishing for compliments. Many people try very hard to make their online life look far better than their actual life. It can also be a real time-waster if you aren't careful.

You just have to be mindful of how you use these sites, and examine what your motivations are for doing certain things. Don't have public fights with SO's, family, or friends. If you need to discuss something, meet up with the person or pick up the phone. Don't assassinate your character or anyone else's by having trigger reactions.

johnnight · 2014-01-29T09:12:36+00:00

FB and phone texting are the new marriage killers.

Consider what has changed from the past. In the past a wife was not getting the constant attention messaging she gets now from other men. All this attention flies now under the radar of the husband, because he is not supposed to violate his wife's privacy by looking through her messages on FB and on her phone.

In the past a woman would get romantic communication from other men if she was face to face with him. This limits it to one man at a time and if she was spending too much time with another man, everybody would know. Even a phone land line was not a problem, because it also has its technical limits (what if the husband answers the phone?)

What we have right now is wifes cheating on their husbands by receiving a stream of male attention through smartphone apps and Facebook. Yes, I mean it. It's emotional cheating and it tears down the emotional connection to the long term partner.

When analyzing the 21st century we have to always compare to how the same issues happened in the low technology past. Consider for example, that our obesity problem is a problem of agriculture technology advance colliding with human biology that fits a low technology environment. What we have now is "information obesity" and women now have "attention obesity" or "attention overload".

Male attention was vital to women in the past. If she lost male attention, she died and her children died because of the lack of a provider. This is why female heightened sensitivity to male attention is normal, but in the past she got it from one life time partner and a few male neighbors. These neighbors were quite useful beta orbiters, who could be called on for help in tough times. This beta orbiting was not bad, it made it easier for a community to survive.

Now technology has changed and the male attention communication is oversaturating the female attention receivers. You need to turn down the power of your radio receiver, filter it or block it, if you can not handle it.

menina_realista · 2014-01-28T22:39:06+00:00

I think facebook is a good tool, personally; just depends how you use it. Just like a hammer is a great tool when you use it to pound a nail into something, but it sucks if you try to use it as a boomerang in a glass house.

Facebook lets me keep in touch with female friends that have moved away or guy friends that I would never date anyway. Guys I'm interested in are never on my facebook, and I like it that way - I don't want to know everything about him and I don't want him to know a lot about me right off the bat.

But - I know a very smart middle-aged woman with a really good marriage and family. She doesn't even know what RP is but she's a treasure trove of girl game and RPW advice that she gives to me and the other younger ladies around, so I'll pass some of it on here.

This lady has a facebook and keeps in touch with former classmates and colleagues, male and female, but she shared her account password with her husband to prevent any problems in the future. She was completely open about it because she didn't want him to even have a reason to worry later down the line.

She also advised me not to post stupid, frivolous or unimportant updates on it, like what I'm eating or where I am at every other moment, because it will bore any guys that you like and it takes away from the mystery that comes with discovering someone new. That way, when something exciting and worthy of being posted on facebook comes up, you can share it with FB friends but it will still be new to your SO when you tell him over dinner.

It's pretty interesting what you can learn from people with experience.

morepill2 · 2014-01-29T00:37:42+00:00

Honestly, I'm not a fan, but I'm a RPW newbie, so my advice is hardly representative of the whole!

Part of my reasoning is simply that I already talk to everyone who needs to know about my day in real life, so there was no point in me having one. The other 300+ friends I had were just old friends or acquaintances that I haven't seen in years, and the ones who really matter to me have been staying in touch with me over text and email.

I also found that while I had one, I felt a compulsion to brag about my own life to show that mine "measured up" to my peers'. They were constantly posting pictures of their latest expensive vacations and expertly-crafted selfies, and were masters of brag statuses.

By not participating, I felt like I was somehow implying that my life wasn't as exciting as theirs, but participating also made me feel shallow and narcissistic.

My solution was to simply delete it, and I can't say that I regret it at all. I will admit, though, that I have made a covert fake one to use to follow my favorite local businesses' pages. ;)

[deleted] · 2014-01-28T22:19:13+00:00

FB-tricky....not fond of co-workers wanting to friend you. Awkward! Not a polite way to say 'no'.

Gyaltso · 2014-01-29T04:23:52+00:00

For me, it is definitely a no. Social media is disgusting. The psychology of it all. Really doesn't align well with this lifestyle.

eatplaycrush · 2014-01-29T18:43:03+00:00

In our relationship social media is just flat out no. There's been times we have discussed it for career oriented reasons, but this is also at least a year away from even happening and we already spoke about it that soon because it is that big of a no. I was very into social media when I was 17/18 then when I met my boyfriend who had NO social media I thought it was only common sense that I shouldn't as well. Especially considering I just got out of high school and I did have male friends. Granted, all the male friends I had were just friends and I knew them since elementary. He doesn't like pictures of him or me being posted online and even when we have had Christmas parties or had people over they know better. Of course we take pictures with these people, but we aren't trying to be like everyone else and we are very content not having the government know every step of our life just handed to them over the internet.

TempestTcup · 2014-01-28T21:54:32+00:00

I like FB too! But only have female friends, wondering if it's ok to have male friends as a married woman.

[deleted] · 2014-01-28T22:09:41+00:00

I use FB all the time....great way to communicate with people you'd rather not talk to. jk

spnkdwife · 2014-01-28T22:34:21+00:00

Rules around facebook for me are:

Keeping in touch with extended Family - okay
Posting pictures of my kids - not okay
Keeping in touch with old friends -okay
Friend-ing co-workers - not okay

Really has nothing to do with RPW except #2 which was a direct request from my husband.

sugarcrush · 2014-01-28T22:56:14+00:00

I use it to ~~stalk~~ briefly check in on people I can't talk to or see much. I don't really post much myself. The last thing I did was our wedding photos, which was back in June.

My thing with facebook and any other social websites is, don't be stupid about it. Don't post anything you wouldn't want your boss, grandma, or boyfriend to see- meaning no half naked photos, no cursing, no flirting with other men (publicly OR privately!), it shouldn't look like all you do is party. It shouldn't be a source of validation, it shouldn't be something that you feel the need to obsessively check hourly. If you (general you not you specifically) do any of those things you should probably delete yours

Bakerofpie · 2014-01-28T23:43:48+00:00

I am admittedly a FB junkie. We have family who live out of town and I like to stay updated on what's going on. I also have a very large family and for the members I'm not as close to I've found it's a much easier way to let them know what's happening in my life than hoping they'll hear it through the grapevine or having to make 87 phone calls. Hubs has my password and I have his, though I've never looked through his messages or anything, and as far as I'm aware he hasn't done so with mine. I only ever say nice things about him and if there's something going on that I'm not sure whether or not he'd like to share I always ask before posting. Besides that I don't really consider using FB as at all related to my girl game. Haha.

meowfacenator · 2014-01-29T04:34:19+00:00

I think it's fine in moderation. Please don't be like my sister In law though and post photos of your children on the potty!

nzcrazycat · 2014-01-29T18:48:45+00:00

Thanks everyone for your contributions to the thread. All valid points to consider. :)

nzcrazycat · 2014-01-29T19:00:49+00:00

I use Facebook to share pictures and video of my kid with family. I live a few hours away from them so I don't get to see them much and they were always calling asking how the baby was and omg is he walking yet?! Why no pictures! So I just put a few pictures/video/milestone updates a week and they leave me alone lol.

I don't see what's wrong with social media. Sure you can use it to do shady stuff, but let's not pretend that's why people are shady to begin with. If someone is going to cheat using Facebook they're going to cheat without it as well. Sames goes with the "keeping up with the Jones'" syndrome.

nzcrazycat · 2014-01-29T21:06:20+00:00

I personally think that having a facebook is acceptable. Don't add random strangers and don't air your dirty laundry. Use facebook the way it was intended - staying connected with those family members six states over. :P

[deleted] · 2014-01-29T01:42:13+00:00

I use Facebook plenty, though I'm not as obsessed with it. It's more of something I do when I'm bored. I really only share funny pictures or lurk. It's sort of like how I do here on Reddit (minus this sub).

I would say it's perfectly fine to use FB. You can certainly use FB to keep up with friends and old classmates. Some people even make separate accounts (one for business; one for friends). I've considered making one for business, since there's not much "quality" to the one for friends and family.

Title	Facebook-Is ok to use for RPW ? Yay or Nay?
Author	nzcrazycat
Upvotes	5
Comments	34
Date	January 28, 2014 9:46 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1wemcq/facebookis_ok_to_use_for_rpw_yay_or_nay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/facebook-is-ok-to-use-for-rpw-yay-or-nay.84204 https://theredarchive.com/post/84204

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