My brother was accused of rape by my best friends daughter. What can we do?

mensmod · 2020-10-16T15:02:05+00:00

This is not the right place for this discussion. We cannot provide legal help/guidance, and this is a very serious issue no matter who is telling the truth.

xAlphaKat · 2020-10-15T03:09:49+00:00

The right thing to do is stand beside your brother and protect him.

This will ruin his life. Men commit suicide over this. Even with proof hes innocent it would still be the end for him as no one will believe him.

That's why you need to believe him. If he feels no one is in his corner... he wont be either.

Please keep him safe. 💜

Ariliescbk · 2020-10-15T03:39:16+00:00

Lawyer the fuck up.

IronJohnMRA · 2020-10-15T12:35:13+00:00

She's message him many times after

Keep those messages. If this goes to court it will be the only thing keeping him out of jail. In the meantime, they may be used to refute the accusations against him. A rape victim doesn't have ongoing contact with a rapist.

LegendaryEmu1 · 2020-10-15T07:00:43+00:00

Well, a good way to check is confiscate their phones and check the records. Typically whichever one opposes this fact checking will be the liar.

Since their teenagers i think(and hope) it can probably discussed between adults, an important thing is to both not have anyone admit fault and not to blame any party until the facts are actually gathered.

If he did do it, then now you know, and likely there will either be some kind of either civil or criminal litigation. Now, the odds of any teenager actually being a rapist is extremely small, fortunately, i'd put it down to her...untruth, or perhaps a miscommunication. The former might actually be pressure from her friends, or depending on the family, a way to save face, we see this all the time, i didn't lose my virginity, it was taken, etc.

The text records are very basic, but help tell the story, if they were happily texting back and forth after the incident, its a load of bunk. But again, it all comes down to what the objective truth is. Best way to handle it is logically, going with passion will likely just result in everyone being torn apart.

newhopefortarget · 2020-10-15T04:25:04+00:00

Blood first. Simple as that. First, this sounds like bullshit. Second, as a blood relative, you should put a greater value of trust in your kin than your friends. Especially since this isn't your friend making the accusation, it's somebody else. You're two degrees separated from the accuser, and one degree separated from the accused.

It seems entirely natural to me to disbelieve MOST rape accusations. Rape accusations are super common, and criminality is present in only a tiny minority of men. Does your brother exhibit any sociopathic tendencies? It should seem obvious that the majority of these accusations are "fake news". Mental issues in the accuser? Slam dunk, case closed. From your perspective anyway. The police have their own metrics.

lorgskyegon · 2020-10-15T04:36:53+00:00

Avoid talking to the daughter as much as possible. Do not give the family any possible ammunition if this does go to court. You don't want to be accused of retaliation, witness intimidation, etc...

Dogrose22 · 2020-10-15T14:22:04+00:00

Please speak to a lawyer/ solicitor who specialises in allegations of rape. Please ensure that the specialist solicitor attends any interviews with police - never, never allow him to speak to police alone, they will try to convince your brother they are being friendly and may ‘invite’ him for a ‘volunteer little chat’ - they are not your friend, they are unlikely to conduct a fair (or even any) investigation.

Write a detailed timeline of everything your brother remembers about that evening, keep ALL messages sent from the accuser.

Please, please if you believe your brother is innocent, stand by him and put him first.

I have everything crossed for you and hope that justice prevails.

spamtheant · 2020-10-15T09:36:56+00:00

Your responsibility is to support your brother not your friends daughter. This is a live changing event whatever happens for him and he will need all the support he can get. Anything you say in support or sympathy for your friends daughter may get twisted and used aganst you or your brother so I would say nothing.

Your brother will need legal advice and to help support that you must safely archive all of the text communications and have him documentwhat happened and all subsequent communications.

You and he have to be prepared for the reality of this situation. However strong the evidence it was consensual she will receive sympathy and support, he will be ostracised and attacked. This is true despite the fact he is probably the victim and she the victimiser. You will neeed to be strong and supportive as a family as few outside will support you. You need to have legal advice because men and boys are assumed guilty in this situation and you must prove innocence beyond any doubt or risk conviction.

hmspain · 2020-10-15T03:10:50+00:00

Wire your brother with a recording device, and have him ask the daughter why she would accuse him of rape.

Federal law permits recording telephone calls and in-person conversations with the consent of at least one of the parties. ... This is called a "one-party consent" law. Under a one-party consent law, you can record a phone call or conversation so long as you are a party to the conversation.

Next, consult a lawyer, like now.

motosandguns · 2020-10-15T04:08:19+00:00

I hope he’s found innocent and you sue her ass for defamation.

JustJamie- · 2020-10-15T08:11:44+00:00

Send them copies of their sexting messages

tempolaca · 2020-10-15T22:15:02+00:00

This is so typical, I feel like I've read this history hundreds of times:

Girl with depression invites boy. Girl repents at the last minute, or perhaps even after they have sex. Girl claims rape to spice her life and climb the social ladder.

Look, the moment she invited him, I knew he's innocent. Real rapists are not the type of men that women invite willingly to their homes when they are alone.

You should lawyer up and lawyer hard. It will cost you a lot, unfortunately, and his life likely have changed, but concentrate in avoiding prison. If you can prove that she has mental problems (they will try to hide it) then the case will be dismissed but it will become ugly. Now, regarding your brother. KEEP AN EYE ON HIM. There are two times when he will try to kill himself. The first time is now, the shock of the news, and seeng most of his friend ostracise him and perhaps losing his job. So, keep in contact, be a brother. The second time he will try to kill himself is perhaps months or years after this, when he realize how much his life have changed, perhaps he wont get invited to parties anymore, perhaps a girlfriend will break with him when she find about this. Those are vulnerable times, so don't abandon him for some years. Everything will be forgoten in about 5 or 6 years, but meanwhile, the only support he will have is family, I know you care about him because you are asking this. But don't believe he will be OK, he will not.

RockmanXX · 2020-10-15T11:51:28+00:00

What is the right thing for me to do

Throw the book at that little bitch. This is a RAPE ACCUSATION and anyone who falsely accuses someone of such a heinous crime deserves to be punished. The reason why so many falsely accuse is because they NEVER get reprimanded for it, we need to start punishing proven False Accusers with utmost prejudice.

RoastedReviews · 2020-10-15T14:46:24+00:00

Counter sue her for defamation. And ensure you do research into the 14th amendment. The system is suppose to provide equal protection of the laws. They cannot take her word for. This will force them to obtain evidence and if he's telling the truth there won't be any.

Have your boy write down exactly what happened that night from the moment he arrived at their house. The more accurate the better.

dukunt · 2020-10-15T23:07:20+00:00

A classic love story. Boy meets girl. They spend the night together. Girl wants more from the boy. Boy doesn't went anymore from the girl. Boy ghosts girl. Girl charges boy with rape. Boys life is ruined. Girl feels a wee bit guilty for sending an innocent boy to prison but hey, he shouldn't have ignored her texts.

Therefore justified.

younameit4 · 2020-10-15T05:03:32+00:00

She suffers from mental illnesses it might have actually been rape.

I know that sounds harsh, and I'm not blaming your brother, but you need to understand where she could be coming from.

Also you stating your brother isn't the smartest guy doesn't really back his claim because he could've missed some clear signs or something.

That being said unless your brother is literally mentally handicapped he probably didn't miss any signals. He's not at fault, although this girl may genuinely believe he did rape her because that's what she may have experienced.

Edit: You guys are very pressed over someone simply taking an honest and fair look at both sides of this lmao

PurplePlatypusBear20 · 2020-10-15T06:16:29+00:00

What will you do if it turns out he actually did rape her?

BaconCatBug · 2020-10-15T11:38:36+00:00

Nothing, he is fucked. He was a moron for going to her house.

Title	My brother was accused of rape by my best friends daughter. What can we do?
Author	younameit4
Upvotes	61
Comments	57
Date	October 15, 2020 2:53 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/jbfgvw/my_brother_was_accused_of_rape_by_my_best_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-brother-was-accused-of-rape-by-my-best-friends.842307 https://theredarchive.com/post/842307

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