How does your S.O. treat you like a child? Or, does he?

2014-05-14T10:55:09+00:00

My husband treats me like a child when I act like one. When I'm tired or hungry and I throw a fit, when I get upset because I want something I can't have, when I don't want to go somewhere or do something but I know I have to, he either ignores me or teases me. His actions draw attention to my behaviour and I usually get pretty embarrassed pretty quickly. As a result, I've learned to just be an adult about it when something isn't going my way.

TempestTcup · 2014-05-14T16:09:32+00:00

My husband does not treat me like a child. I'm not sure it ever occurred to him to treat me like a child. I think that the TRP "treat women like children" is probably more like a neg to get them in bed; I don't think it would be effective in a LTR.

stillnoturday · 2014-05-14T09:56:39+00:00

What? I think you are confused about TRP views on LTRS and women in general.

If I'm in an LTR I don't treat a woman like a child, leading doesn't mean degrading. Just because I don't want to play mind checkers with someone I have invested my time with.

Insecure men have to tear down to make themselves look better.

2014-05-14T16:14:26+00:00

Like /u/blondie_brownie posted, my man doesn't treat me like a child until I act like one. Until my habitual girly ways of stomping my feet and having a cry when I don't get my way kicks in. He will straight up ignore me, or tease me.

Other than that, we treat each other with mutual respect. But I adore him. Adoration and respect leads to love, and is the foundation of our relationship.. because I adore him and look up to him so much, he doesn't need to treat me like a child - he is just his amazing self. /humble brag?

gabilromariz · 2014-05-14T10:32:13+00:00

No

This message works to create attraction on a certain type of girl. The type you don't want to marry. If you read more on the rp sub you'll see this tactic applied with fair success to one night stands and short relationships where the man feels/knows himself to be intellectually superior by far

For an ltr to work there needs to be mutual respect and the acceptance that men aren't better/smarter. just different. we're not equals because we know different stuff in different themes.

2014-05-15T02:23:49+00:00

The only thing I can come up with is a personal example or two of when I didn't know which choice to make and told him to make it for me since it's his money anyway. 1. He insisted we get new phones, I looked and looked and had no clue what I was even looking at so I left. When I came back to the phone store I had a new Samsung Galaxy and I love it so that worked great. 2. He hated my vehicle and wanted to buy me a new one. I did tons of research and simply could not make a decision and told him "honey just pick what you want to drive when you aren't in your work truck and get it". Hello 2014 Dodge Ram 1500, very nice truck. He is better at making these types of choices, so I just step aside and allow myself to be both surprised and spoiled. Childish? Maybe. But everyone in the house is happy so who cares.

blushing_goddess · 2014-05-15T06:24:24+00:00

On the assumption that most of you ladies are dating/married to RP men, do your men treat you like children? How does it work?

Yes and no. Clear as mud, right? In general, I make my own decisions, have my own responsibilities, and get treated like an adult in a mutually trusting, loving relationship. During the times when I'm letting my emotions get the better of me and/or otherwise acting like a child, he tends to treat me like one, but not in a demeaning kind of way. He tends to deflect me with silliness or distraction, or he'll put his foot down and set firm boundaries, depending on the situation. We have clear, firm, reinforced boundaries that I'm expected to follow, and the few times I've gotten out of line with him, he's nipped it in the bud really quickly by being especially stern with me. We have a very silly relationship with a lot of humor and general tomfoolery, but I always feel like he's in control--like when you're a kid and an adult is messing with you, but you know they won't go so far as to actually hurt you.

Do you notice it?

Not unless I really think about it, I guess. The last argument we had, I was being out of line, and he set me straight really quickly, and then we dealt with the issue at hand. We have a lot of teasing and goofing around in our relationship, and I enjoy that a lot, so I notice that.

How does it make you feel?

Safe, secure, loved, generally appreciated. I don't like the out-of-control feeling of someone bowing to my every whim--I know I can be irrational, and when I'm grumpy about something, I don't want someone who's going to fall to that too easily. Otherwise, everything ends up a huge mess. I've gotten better at keeping myself in line, but a large part of that is I know it's not going to accomplish anything except pissing off my SO. I stay within the boundaries, we get to enjoy each other, everyone is happy. I enjoy that he has this way of teasing and fooling around with me, because it's a fun little power game--it establishes a little bit of dominance without being threatening, and it keeps everyone in a good mood. It's hard to take myself too seriously when he responds to my fickle emotions with silliness.

Do you believe your relationship could be improved with being treated less/more like a child?

Sometimes I wish he was a little more dominant in some things, but we have a great balance, and I love that I know where I stand with him.

2014-05-14T21:29:44+00:00

C's pet name for me is "good girl," if that says anything.

He mainly treats me like a child, as it's been said, when I act like one. If I get pouty or fussy, he calls me out and tells me very directly not to do whatever it is I was doing. The same method can include teasing as well, like what an older brother or father might do, to let me know I'm being silly.

blushing_goddess · 2014-05-15T08:01:06+00:00

I am pretty conscious of my own behavior (anxiety, especially social anxiety, will do that to you) so I'm pretty good at not acting "childlike". But I know in the past I did; being passive-aggressive, refusing to just say what I needed or didn't like, getting mad when a guy didn't read my mind/subtle clues, expecting him to spend all his energy on me...the sort of "bad" behavior that is traditionally associated with women.

My SO doesn't really treat me like a child ever, but if I lapse into that dumb behavior he will say things like "use your words" in a jokingly patronizing tone, and then I realize I'm being dumb and tell him what I need. It's helped me with my anxiety a bunch! Instead of enabling me, it forces me out of my comfort zone even more so that I'm able to ask for help from him when I need it.

2014-05-20T08:15:26+00:00

Maybe instead of "treat her like a child" think of it as act like her daddy... A girl looks to her daddy for guidance and she will try to get away with stuff around him, but she needs to respect when he puts his foot down.

stillnoturday · 2014-05-14T14:08:10+00:00

not only does my husband quite often treat me like a child, but it is actually a running joke to us because he is younger than me--if anyone saw the movie "dont be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood" the teenage main character meets his father and his father is like 10 years younger than him so we joke we are like that lol

when i say "treat like a child" i mean specific things. 1. when we are being cute and sexy he may call me "little girl" "what do you want, little girl" etc 2. when im being a brat he definitely calls me out like a stern father, not like whatever weirdo feminists thnk an "equal" would do. 3. when he helps me do something or takes care of me if i get some kind of injury he definitely takes on a fatherly mien. he is also fatherly to the cats because he is a natural born biblical patriarch and treats the whole world like it is his children or his flock

for some reason ( i vote for aspergers) weirdo feminists see any paternalistic interaction in a heterosexual relationship as nascent incest or pedophilia, quite possibly because they can only understand the sexual dynamics of relationships due to eschewing the power dynamics. the psychological dynamic of being treated like daddy's little girl is an extremely attractive power dynamic to many many many women, which explains its persistence over time.

FleetingWish · 2014-05-14T22:27:50+00:00

He punishes me when I've been bad and he rewards me when I've been good. He tucks me in at night and likes to play with me! He listens to what I want with an ear for what I need rather than what I might actually be saying. He tells me what I can and cannot do, and always knows what's best for me. He takes all the responsibility and burden of making decisions. He takes pride in my accomplishments, and I feel the happiest when I make him proud of me.

In short he treats me like a child and I act like one. I bounce around with enthusiasm and joy. I like to turn everything into a game. I love it when he tucks me in, and takes care of me. I sometimes act like a brat, but I pretty much have it dialed in to where I'm a cute brat, rather the annoying brat. (Men absolutely love the cute brat.)

Bakerofpie · 2014-05-14T17:26:12+00:00

It depends on your definition of treating someone like a child. My husband doesn't have the time or desire to give me the sort of attention one would give to a child - giving constant, specific instructions, frequent positive reinforcement, being very stern and enforcing and explaining every expectation. He expects to be able to tell me what he wants from me once and not have to give me a cookie every time I perform properly. He would become extremely impatient if he had to dictate behaviors to me as he would a child. He wants a woman who can take care of herself, and of him, without having to be prodded or reminded or instructed.

I would prefer a little more "paternal" behavior, as sometimes I'm not sure whether or not I am living up to his expectations since he's not always clear on what they are and does not usually tell me whether or not I am meeting them. I would like to receive more instruction from him, but he finds the need to do so extremely unattractive and annoying. The way we do things becomes easier and easier the longer we are together and I learn about his priorities.

2014-05-14T21:32:32+00:00

On the assumption that most of you ladies are dating/married to RP men, do your men treat you like children?

Nope. The only thing I can think of in terms of 'childish' acts are the silly fun stuff we do together.. but no I can't fathom the need to nor a reaction even remotely like that in 6 six years.

Do you believe your relationship could be improved with being treated less/more like a child?

No, I'd think it would annoy the living hell out of him. It would annoy me too if he even felt the need to explore this road. I don't react to him as a child would, so no there's no call to so. Even if I did in someway I sincerely doubt he would put up with it for long and I wouldn't blame him.

eatplaycrush · 2014-05-15T17:26:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TempestTcup · 2014-05-15T22:16:31+00:00

Red pill guy here. Actually, it's more akin to the man being the captain of the ship and the woman as his first mate. You either don't understand red pill views or are setting up a straw man.

Title	How does your S.O. treat you like a child? Or, does he?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	55
Date	May 14, 2014 9:12 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/25iwkr/how_does_your_so_treat_you_like_a_child_or_does_he/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-does-your-so-treat-you-like-a-child-or-does-he.84496 https://theredarchive.com/post/84496

Comments