I moved with my grilfriend almost one year ago and I started to work to pay the rent and the food since she was about to finish her Master's degree.

I was perfectly aware of what I was doing. I knew about men's issues and MRA for some years now. I perfectly knew that I was taking the role of provider. But it was and still is the best solution and it make us very happy. I don't want to complain about how men are often forced into the provider role since I knew what I was sacrifing (my own degree) but also what I was getting (a home with a lovely and loving girlfriend).

We often hear the feminist talking about the mental load of the women. And sure, it does exist and I wouldn't dare to deny it. But I just want to point out the mental burden of the men. Being the provider is at the same time a great pride and a great deal of fear and stress. I take a great pride in being the one who allow my gf and I to savor our shared life.

But it has a price. The fear of my car breaking down and preventing me to go to work. (That actually happen today, that's why I felt like talking about all of this). The fear of not having enough money to overcome the hardships of life (like a car needing to be fixed on top of a rent to pay, the food...). The fear of loosing my job and loosing everything we built on the money I make. And finally the fear of losing my girlfriend. Not because she would left me because I wouldn't be anymore the provider. But because the lack of money increases stress, anger and all other negative emotions which can endangered even the most solid couple.

Even if I manage to talk a bit of this with her, I don't think she can understand the stress and the fears I felt. I'm scared to make a mistake at work, even to be late because I don't know what consequences it could have. Every time something is off (like a broken car, yeah i know, I repeat myself, sorry), I can't describe how awfull is the sensation of a freezing hand clinging on my guts. But even if she doesn't fully understand, she still stand by me and help me in any way she can like cooking when I come back home late.

When we analyse our situation, it does seem like we take the traditionnel role, the prividing man and the woman at home. However, it is something we have both agreed and therefore it's not patriarchy or oppression. Just two persons who loved each other and who are willing to do what needs to be done to be together. I wish the feminist understand that.