I have a hypothesis that only women who don't value/respect themselves fall into the traps of PUA guys, or be the type of women to constantly wonder "What's wrong with me, why can't I find 'the one'". I'm speaking from personal experience on this. I hope that any women reading this will stay consciously aware of how they view themselves at any given time, and to take necessary steps to improve themselves.

Let me walk you through how I spiraled down and climbed back out again.

Ages 17-19 My relationship with my father fell apart, horrible teen years. My parents are still together thankfully, so there were never any issues there. Looking back, I must've been seeking validation/attention from him for what I'm not sure? Regardless of what my issue was (being a brat?), I started this downward spiral of getting attention from boys. I would find one I thought I deserved or wanted, and do anything to get his interest/attention. Nudes, sure. Blowjobs, duh. This was circa early 2000's so THANK GOD. I'm one of the lucky ones whose shit still isn't out there. Let's hope. Yuck. There are always motives for one's actions, and as I stated my motives were a cry for attention. So at 17 lost my virginity to some disgusting 25 yr old. Was his plate for a awhile, until I was attempting to sneak out one night and my dad tracked him down and scared him away. That should've been a wake up call. NOPE. SO I was your basic plate, for a few years. Could never get a steady boyfriend, started wondering what was wrong with me?

19-21. COLLEGE. Was a plate some more. Hooked up with a professor, smoke some pot, sent some more nudes around. My friends found out eventually. Sometimes I think I got an adrenaline rush off this stuff? Loved the validation. Finally, one day I get a boyfriend, a virgin. So that was fun for me, oh let me take his V. We date for a year or so? Oddly enough my parents didn't like him, they found him "lazy" not ambitious enough. Planted a seed in my mind, he was "meh". I can do better I told myself. What a bitch. Then online I meet what would become my WORST problem, yet the entire reason I came to the my senses. He definitely would use some special PUA/red pill play with me. I got sucked in so hard. Sex all the time, whenever, I would go to him always. He was a good christian boy at a school close by that girls weren't even allowed into the dorm. NO MATTER. This is senior year of college for me, he goes off to a prestigious law school, I remain plate. I'm driving 6 hours each way just to fuck him. I thought oh he will see eventually "I'm the ONE". Would just suck me right in. Here is where I begin to realize I don't value or respect myself. Finally, I graduate move to west coast. He gets job at a law firm, now I'm flying paying 600 bucks to fuck him. He's loving it I guess. In the meantime he's pushing me to my limits sexually. Wants kinkier and kinkier things. I oblige of course, whatever he wants. He HAS to see how wonderful I am. MARRY ME RIGHT? Clearly I'm delusional. I walk out of his apt one night go to the edge of a pier, and seriously think about throwing myself into the lake. Literally get down on my knees, think (come to Jesus moment), and talk myself through how insane my behavior is. Thankfully, this is the last time I will see him, he doesn't even have the decency to drop me off at the airport. I don't blame him. This is why women can't let themselves be plates. You think you can, you think you can sleep around, it's doesn't matter, feels good right? It fucks with your mind. I believe there has to be some underlying reason, such as not respecting yourself. It went south for me when issues with my parents started creeping up.

23- A month after that last trip, I meet my husband. Like no guy I had met before, solid job, VERY sure of himself, steadfast. I mean there are plenty of adjectives to describe how great he is. He MADE me want to be a better woman. By this point, I had revelations of what I was trying to accomplish in life. I knew what it would take to get there. And my relationship with my parents improves, everything does. How I view myself changes.

Honestly I hope no one can relate to my experience. Sometimes I remember it fondly, as part of a learning process (I like to learn the hard way). Other times I remember myself with absolute disgust. BUT, bottom line I have improved myself, and that's due to my maturing, and finding a solid high value man (OH gasp!) . Yes I will gladly give men credit. Women are victims of their own bullshit - I was just as much at fault for my behaviors! I would NEVER pass blame.

When I read PUA advice or sometimes TRP I get those flashbacks, that YES, I would fall for this. I would sleep with you, you know exactly what buttons to push. My advice would be to stay consciously aware of behaviors that make a woman feel this way. I would say the majority of women are not finding themselves in situations like I was? I like sharing what happened to me because I SNAPPED out of it.