Thoughts on hobbies?

topsyturvytopsy · 2016-05-29T20:34:57+00:00

I'm 32 (I know, I'm over the hill and should probably kill myself)

As a 32 yo single female myself who is adopting redpill ideals and searching for love, I honestly am taken aback by this comment. I know it exists on the TRP subreddit, but to see it here in a supposedly safe space for us to better ourselves is very distasteful.

vanBeethovenLudwig · 2016-05-29T20:32:10+00:00

I feel like you're concentrating too much on being only a potential wife and not a well-rounded woman, meaning a writer, girlfriend, cook, avid reader, dog-lover, guitarist, yogi (I'm just throwing out random interests). Yes, of course you want to help your man with his life. But if you don't have anything else interesting about you, what's the difference between him dating you and him hiring a maid or escort to validate himself? (please, I'm not trying to sound harsh!)

He's probably looking for a partner in addition to a beautiful feminine lady like yourself. So go find somethings you're passionate about or looking to improve about yourself. Could be learning a language, taking up your own fitness hobby, learning an instrument, tackling a book list, trying new recipes, baking, gardening, decorating the house, listening to all the albums of a new band or even reading Wikipedia if you're an academic/intellectual. Hope that helps!

QueenBee126 · 2016-05-29T19:30:40+00:00

"Like, I enjoy writing, but if me helping my boyfriend with something gets me closer to being a wife, I would rather focus my energy on that. Being a wife is much more important that being a writer,"

OP I feel the same way! So marry the two and focus on a hobby that is wifely :)

Cooking is a great example! See if there are any cooking classes in your area, or order a few cookbooks on Amazon (check the used section, those books can be pennies! And are in great condition) and make a new recipe once or twice a week. Your BF will enjoy the fruits of your labor :)

Another feminine hobby that you could try is crafting. Using Mercury Magazines, you can get subscriptions to magazines like Better Homes and Gardens, Southern Living, etc for FREE (I've done this for years after a friend told me about it and have never paid for a magazine since.) You can also check your library or use Pinterest on the Internet. Crafting is a great feminine widely quality because it makes a house a home; I feel like men really like that aspect in women.

That being said, both of these hobbies require a little extra $$ and if $$ is an issue I would consider taking up the hobby of volunteering to read to children at the library or a school; they usually give you a budget for the children's crafts. :)

Ihatemost · 2016-05-30T01:06:49+00:00

You've gotten a lot of great comments so I have no advice to add. I'd just like to say personally I found your joke about being 32 thus killing yourself to be hilarious. I completely understand what you mean about the difference between RPW and TRP, the latter being very focused on "women are only good at 18, after they're trash". I try to avoid that subreddit, it doesn't have any good advice.

Are you a cultivated person? Sometimes it's not just hobbies that is important. Maybe your SO enjoys talking to "successful" women because they have a lot of interesting insight on one field. If you have a lot of knowledge, you can also carry conversations on many varied subjects.

Let's say you pick up a book on nanotechnology for exemple or one on philosophy, I'm sure your SO will like that you're broadening your horizons, and you could share with him some of the things you learned.

Turns out I did have some advice lol. Hope it helps!

Mentathiel · 2016-05-29T17:15:20+00:00

I mean, I do have hobbies and interests....but I want to get married and have a family so badly that I feel like none of my other hobbies matter. Like, I enjoy writing, but if me helping my boyfriend with something gets me closer to being a wife, I would rather focus my energy on that.

Having hobbies gets you closer to being a wife.

I'm not big on RPW, so I'll let someone else go into combinations of femininity and hobbies, but I have read studies on love lasting a lifetime and one of the major factors is being able to look at your partner doing something they're very enthusiastic about alone. It's that feeling you get even when your friend gets excited about their passions and starts talking, forgetting the sense of time and manners towards the other person in the conversation for a while. That feeling when you see your partner just casually doing something he loves and see the spark of excitement or tranquil relaxation. Humans are empathetic creatures and others being really into what they do motivates us to also be excited and passionate around them.

That being said, if you don't feel like it, you don't necessarily need to do anything other than what you're already doing. If you think housework is really important, you could get into it more deeply. Cooking is a lifetime art for some people. If you're on a decent budget and schedule, try trying out different recipes every day (or every other day) for a month.

If you want a more 'interesting' and 'quirky' hobby, writing does sound pretty good. As someone who writes themselves. But if your SO isn't into it, he will probably get bored by your constant talks about it.

Perhaps you want to pick up something that would interest him, but that he hasn't discovered yet? If he was talking to a scientist chick and all his exes had an academic career, maybe he's a very curious type. You could pick something more fact and logic based. Maybe something like chess. Chess is very interesting, because it really has two main components, facts and logic and emotion and battle of confidence. You generally have to excel at both, or weakness in one aspect will weaken the other one as well. Perhaps you two could add to each other's experience of it based on what you're more inclined to. But it's a bit difficult of a hobby to pick up at older age, you're far too old to get into any sort of amateur classes or clubs which aren't filled with old people and far too old and busy to start anything more professional, which would give you a better insight on the game itself. But I'm sure there are other things like it, where both of you can shine in your own way and show each other different aspects of that hobby.

Okay, I got too advicey anyway. XD The beginning of the post was the main thing I've wanted to say, take the rest with a grain of salt.

VigilantRedRooster · 2016-05-29T19:28:40+00:00

Reading the red pill was a harsh wake-up call for me butttttt.....a lot of those guys seem insanely misogynistic. RPW, to me, from lurking at least, advocates being feminine but without putting women down, so I thought this would be a good place to ask advice, rather than askTRP, where I feel like I'll just be shot down for my age, because at 32 obviously I'm a cock carousel riding harpy.

TRP and AskTRP are for men who are busy unplugging and self-improving; no wonder they seem harsh and confusing. It's like looking inside a sausage factory- don't do it if you like eating sausage. No need for anyone here to couch their post in disclaimers about the extreme stereotypes and examples discussed in TRP. It's good you've found your way to RedPillWomen. Welcome!

Anyways, I feel like he is starting to lose interest because I don't have hobbies of my own. Now, in my defense, I'm not clinging to him and making him my sole source of entertainment. And I've taken an active interest in his hobbies. I'm taking rock climbing courses because he loves rock climbing.

He wants you to have hobbies of your own, so you get into rock climbing because HE likes rock climbing!? That's great if you're honestly into that. However, as a human being you need interests and pursuits of your own to remain interested and interesting. You don't want to be an extreme case of "Women are like water, they take the shape of their container" meaning you shape so much of your life around that of your SO, that you lose your own individuality and therefore interest to him.

he also seems to be interested in women who have STEM careers, or are very accomplished.

A smart man who has already chosen you as his SO isn't going to expect you to morph into a STEM graduate. With a minimum of effort, you could probably keep up on his particular interests just enough to be able to hold decent conversations with him about his passion. Ultimately, his attraction isn't about a woman's intellectual prowess, but how her femininity makes him specifically feel like a man. How do you think it will affect your relationship if you put your efforts here?

LittleKick · 2016-06-05T17:10:26+00:00

First off, forget about his previous girlfriends who have “impressive” careers. He’s not with them anymore. He’s now with you. He has chosen to be with someone who has domestic talents, instead of focusing 100% of their energy on a career. If being with career women worked for him or was his preference, that’s who he would be with, but he’s not. HE’S WITH YOU!!

Second, you do need hobbies outside of your relationship. Either to be an attractive partner or just to make yourself happy. When I’m trying to find new interests or hobbies, I think about what type of activities noble, upper class, or wealthy women have (think Princess Diana, the Duchess of Cambridge, Melinda Gates). These women are usually involved in charities or causes that help children, the underprivileged or the sick. Doing something like getting involved with a local charity for the homeless or children’s hospital shows your compassionate side. They are also involved intellectual or creative pursuits like art or learning a second language. Physical or outdoor activities such as horseback riding or tennis is popular with this group as well.

Of course, this is just a starting point and ideas. Maybe you have a truly unique hobby that makes you happy. Do it. You never know what may impress him!

Also, I'm 32 and single. I bet there are a lot more 30+ ladies who are lurking. Please, ladies, come out of the shadows and share your experiences!

Risinglucian · 2016-05-31T19:21:51+00:00

If he's interested in another woman's carreer, then investing on a writing stint of your own may be desirable to him. You can be both a modern and traditional woman.

Title	Thoughts on hobbies?
Author	Hobbylobby11
Upvotes	12
Comments	17
Date	May 29, 2016 3:23 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4lkszd/thoughts_on_hobbies/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/thoughts-on-hobbies.86202 https://theredarchive.com/post/86202

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