How long do you wait to have sex

[deleted] · 2016-08-03T03:37:28+00:00

We recommend that you be in a committed relationship before having sex with a man, but otherwise the timeline varies widely from couple to couple. Age, how often you see each other, how well you know each other, etc all factor into your answer.

VigilantRedRooster · 2016-08-03T06:03:48+00:00

How long after you start dating someone new do you wait to have sex?

Red Pill Women are interested in securing long-term commitment before offering sex, so our quick answer would be "Longer than average by modern standards."

Young inexperienced daters and those seeking to marry with the lowest N count possible might wait till marriage or engagement, or weeks/months of dating.

Older, more seasoned daters interested in LTRs commonly wait till at least the third date.

I'm wondering if [moving quickly] taints the buildup for the man, or just what your thoughts are?

Yes, it taints the buildup, and seals your reputation with that man! Casual daters may fall into a LTR, or not, after a relatively fast escalation, with mixed success. However, a man who is seriously goal-oriented toward finding a LTR partner worthy of his commitment may proceed with sex sooner than he wishes with no outward reluctance, but might never consider the woman more than a P&D or fling.

If long-term exclusive commitment is a non-negotiable relationship requirement for you, don't start it off like a casual fling.

blindedbythebrights · 2016-08-03T07:00:24+00:00

When I can feel that he loves me, without a doubt. This could mean him explicitly saying that he loves me or showing it in his behaviour (wanting to see me often/ calling to check up on me/ the level of conversation/ things like "I've never known someone like you before"/ big romantic gestures like flowers with notes on your doorstep/ supportive acts like coming to fix that thing you're struggling with/ spending half a day working with you to fix a problem you've been having). Exclusivity here is a no-brainer that shouldn't have been asked for, but has been given by him spontaneously. Because you're amazing ;)

[deleted] · 2016-08-03T10:13:53+00:00

The least I've waited was the third date, we had exchanged 1000+ texts a month prior to our first date. I guess you can say, texting built attraction. ¯_(ツ)_/¯.

PSA: To be perfectly clear, I would NOT recommend guys text that much, mine had special circumstances. It's better to meet ASAP, texting game is risky and passive. Also, it would be really awkward if you didn't like each other IRL !

candleelit · 2017-01-14T23:57:48+00:00

My current bf and I waited 2 months going on about 3 dates a week. He says it made him like me more because it's clear I don't sleep around. But I didn't do it to manipulate the way he feels about me. I did it because having sex with someone I'm not very emotionally involved with doesn't interest me.

loneliness-inc · 2016-08-04T16:41:54+00:00

I speak as a married man.

If the guy finds you attractive, he'll want to get in bed with you on the first date (even if he's smart enough not to go for that). However, this would make a LTR much more difficult.

It's wise to wait at least until you're committed to one another before getting in bed.

What you do in the interim also speaks volumes about you. If you're dating someone else while you date me, you aren't serious about giving me a shot, you're just comparing the two or more guys/girls you're dating.

If you're having sex with others while dating, I'd have reason to be concerned about what will happen when one of us isn't sexually available for a few months such as after surgery or birth.

A person who's dating seriously for marriage will date one person at the time and not have casual sex with anyone else while doing so. They'll also wait at least until commitment to engage sexually with the person they date.

This is my (not so) humble opinion which you're welcome to disagree with.

[deleted] · 2016-08-03T03:41:19+00:00

My current relationship I did not have sex until monogamy. It was so worth it. My SO and I had been talking for about three weeks, and then went on two dates while our phone conversations kept getting longer and longer. In these conversations, he expressed that he did not want to be seeing anyone else but me and I had the same sentiment.

In the past, unfortunately (I blame college environment/friends constantly on the cc) , I was too willing with men. Having sex too early or without any commitment feels so meh and after I'd feel so gross. But holy cow having sex that wasn't meaningless with a man that I was already head over heels for, and knowing that he felt the same is like being on a cloud.

TLDR: no sex with out monogamy. It's not worth it.

Edit: Don't be afraid of having some 'alone time' to remedy your high sex drive.

gunfetti · 2016-08-03T10:35:53+00:00

I agree with /u/blindedbythebrights - when I can tell he genuinely is in the process of falling or has already fallen in love with me.

In my current relationship we had sex approximately one month after first meeting each other. Quick, by most standards - however, in that timeframe we saw each other on 12 separate occasions for walks/dinners/dates, checked in with phone calls and texts when we didn't see each other, and mutually defined that neither of us was interested in seeing anyone else.

We both had very strong developed senses of what we didn't want in a partner based on previous relationship experience, so when we realized the other had what we did want, we didn't waste any time locking each other down. I can say with confidence that by the time sex happened, I didn't have any doubts as to if he'd stick around after. If you're hesitant to say that about someone you're seeing, I would err on the side of caution rather than jumping into bed with them and hoping you're right about that not being the only thing they want from you.

ragnarockette · 2016-08-03T12:48:43+00:00

The beginning of my relationship basically was a treatise in how NOT to be Red Pill. My husband and I were extremely close friends for a year before we got drunk and made out and ...

I remember thinking the next morning, either this is the start of the best relationship I'll ever have...or I'm never going to see him again. Luckily, it was the former. He says he thought of me as his girlfriend immediately.

Had we dated traditionally, I probably would have waited until the 5th or 6th date. I always felt like that was a good time frame for vetting, but prevented me from investing too much time into someone I wasn't sexually compatible with.

PinkFloweryBranches · 2016-08-03T04:45:13+00:00

Marriage; which means at least 1 year.

Big-Jim_Slade · 2016-08-03T20:16:48+00:00

I don't think that, as a pre-T trans person, you need to worry about time frames in the same way as most. Are you looking to date straight men or gay men? I think that being trans and the accompanying difficulties that it presents will be your main worries.

RpwomN · 2016-08-10T02:50:49+00:00

I was never into one night stands, or sleeping around.

However. When I met my current so (husband common law) we slept together on our second date. There was something different about how I felt about him than anyone I had ever been around or dated.

Luckily it ended up being a great start to an amazing relationship that were celebrating our 7th anniversary together this month. I wouldn't recommend sleeping with someone on the second or even third date. It's about how you honestly feel about them. I lucked out with a great man who wasn't into sleeping around either (or else I would have just been a number to him).

AntiFeministWoman · 2016-08-10T06:51:28+00:00

I waited until it was fully committed and I was sure he was in it for the long run. I mean, we knew each other since elementary school and are in our 20's now, so it's not as if this was a man I had just met. Just hold off until you're SURE. There is no one size fits all time frame here. Keep that in mind.

confusedasfock · 2016-08-11T02:05:58+00:00

I would say a month. It seems reasonable. It finally depends on you, but I wouldn't recommend sex before the 5th date...

[deleted] · 2016-08-12T22:11:29+00:00

6 weeks, after he's invested substantial time effort and money

Title	How long do you wait to have sex
Author	starsplash9
Upvotes	22
Comments	45
Date	August 3, 2016 3:08 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4vwga6/how_long_do_you_wait_to_have_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-long-do-you-wait-to-have-sex.86356 https://theredarchive.com/post/86356

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