TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

  • Subreddits

      Popular

    • /r/askTRP
    • /r/TheRedPill
    • /r/MarriedRedPill
    • /r/MensRights
    • /r/MGTOW
    • /r/PurplePillDebate
    • /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen

      • Other

    • /r/AllPillDebate
    • /r/AlreadyRed
    • /r/altTRP
    • /r/AntiFeminists
    • /r/askFDS
    • /r/askMRP
    • /r/askRPC
    • /r/becomeaman
    • /r/BlackPillScience
    • /r/Chadfish
    • /r/Divorce_Men
    • /r/EverydayMisandry
    • /r/ExRedPill
    • /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
    • /r/FeminismStopsWhen
    • /r/GEOTRP
    • /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
    • /r/MalePsychology
    • /r/Male_Studies
    • /r/MenSupportMen
    • /r/MGTOW2
    • /r/MuslimRedPill
    • /r/newTRP
    • /r/PussyPass
    • /r/PussyPassDenied
    • /r/RedPillBooks
    • /r/RedPillParenting
    • /r/RedPillWives
    • /r/RedPillWomen
    • /r/RedPillWorkplace
    • /r/RPChristians
    • /r/seduction
    • /r/ThankTRP
    • /r/TheRedPillStories
    • /r/trpGAME
    • /r/TRPOffTopic
    • /r/TrueBlackPillMGTOW
    • /r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre
  • Blogs

      Popular

    • Dalrock
    • Heartiste
    • Illimitable Men
    • Return of Kings
    • Rian Stone
    • The Rational Male
    • Woujo

      • Other

    • Artful Prudence
    • A Voice for Men
    • Alpha Game
    • Black Label Logic
    • Caleb Jones
    • Captain Capitalism
    • Corporate Machiavelli
    • Days of Game
    • Deep Strength
    • Dicipres
    • Donal Graeme
    • Female Misogynist
    • Free Northerner
    • Gaming My Wife
    • Good Looking Loser
    • Hawaiian Libertarian
    • In Mala Fide
    • KillToParty
    • Kill Your Inner Loser
    • Krauser PUA
    • LaidNYC
    • Married Man Sex Life
    • NO MA'AM
    • Omega Virgin Revolt
    • Pook's Mill
    • Random Xpat Rantings
    • Red Pill Theory
    • Red Pill Wifery
    • RedPillDad
    • RedPillDoctor
    • Seasons of Tumult and Discord
    • Sigma Frame
    • The Feminine Woman
    • The Futurist
    • The Masculine Principle
    • The Modern Man
    • The New Modern Man
    • The Obsidian Files
    • The Power Moves
    • The Private Man
    • The Red Pill Room
    • The Red Quest
    • The Rules Revisited
    • The Spearhead
    • Troy Francis
    • Wintery Knight
    • Young Man Red Pill
  • Books
  • Dictionary
  • @TRParchive
  • Please help TheRedArchive stay alive

My boyfriend has had lots of sexual partners and I'm still a virgin. It makes me really insecure and makes me feel bad about myself. Should I leave him?

mysticqueen22
January 16, 2017
8 upvotes
/r/RedPillWomen
Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB
Share
Share Tweet Reddit Email
Post Information
Title My boyfriend has had lots of sexual partners and I'm still a virgin. It makes me really insecure and makes me feel bad about myself. Should I leave him?
Author

mysticqueen22
Upvotes 8
Comments 48
Date January 16, 2017 11:41 PM UTC
(9 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5oef95/my_boyfriend_has_had_lots_of_sexual_partners_and/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-boyfriend-has-had-lots-of-sexual-partners-and.86850
https://theredarchive.com/post/86850
Top posts by mysticqueen22

What are some things that need to be done to increase SMV as a 20/f?

22 upvotes
January 28, 2017
/r/RedPillWomen

Is there something wrong with being a girl that wants a high n count?

14 upvotes
February 14, 2017
/r/RedPillWomen

I know that being 20/f and a virgin highers my SMV; But being a virgin makes me really insecure

4 upvotes
January 29, 2017
/r/PurplePillDebate

20/f virgin college student; is the CC worth it or is one guy enough to have sex with?

1 upvotes
February 17, 2017
/r/askTRP

How can I [23/F] cultivate an attractive social media presence for employers, networking, friendships and dating?

0 upvotes
November 29, 2018
/r/RedPillWomen

How can I [23/F] cultivate an attractive social media presence for employers, networking, friendships and dating?

0 upvotes
November 29, 2018
/r/askTRP

Comments

[–]NittanyLioness8422 points23 points24 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

If you cannot accept someone for who they are, then it would be kindest to let them go so they can find someone who will.

[–]mysticqueen22 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

So you think i'm being unreasonable?

[–]NittanyLioness8417 points18 points19 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Your boyfriend can't change his number of sexual partners. You can only change your attitude about it.

It would be unreasonable to continue this relationship if it truly affects you this negatively.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That doesn't seem unreasonable. You have a certain set of expectations for your partner, and one such expectation is low n-count. The problem here might be your vetting process. Have you known his sexual history all along or has it just been revealed to you?

[–]McLuhanSaidItFirst3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

I think it would help to explore this. What is it about his partner count that triggers insecurity? What's your concern/fear? Is it not a fear but really something else ?

How does this result in you feeling bad about yourself?

Hard to know what to say on such little information.

[–]nonthaki-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

She feels she can bag better : A virgin or a moderate n-count having partner OR a higher smv (money &status) partner by showing her virginity card .

[–]practicewhatyoulearnEndorsed Contributor2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I disagree, this is centered around u/mysticqueen22's insecurities about dating a more experienced man; about not measuring up. She's not waving her virginity in our faces to justify why she deserves a man with a higher smv - especially since a man with a high N-count usually denotes a high value man already.

[–]mysticqueen22 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I know it's probably not the best thing to compare yourself to your boyfriends exes, especially in the bedroom but it sets me off immediately when we're having dinner and he brings up past experiences. I sit there wondering how slimmer her thighs probably were or how hot her was in bed and it's hard not to feel bad about yourself.

[–]AlabamaStar2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

How often does he bring up past experiences and what's his attitude about them when he does?

[–]mysticqueen22 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Not too often, but when he does i'm probably angry for the rest of the evening. Not at him necessarily but how awful it makes me feel about myself.

[–]artsyluna0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I think that's inconsiderate. Have you mentioned that you feel disrespected when he talks about his past experiences? He should know better, especially since you don't have any of your own sexual experiences.

[–]mysticqueen22 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Is it selfish of me if I think it might be better if I left him and just dated men casually for a while? Because I know myself and if i'm feeling this way about him, i'm going to be feeling this same way if we break up and I start dating a new guy exclusive. Perhaps experience under my belt will allow me to be more understanding of guys like this and thus be a little more accommodating if someone better comes in the future.

[–]artsyluna2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, it depends on how much you like his other qualities. Personally, a high n-count in a man is not an unattractive quality. But if he holds it over your head and makes you feel uncomfortable, whether intentionally or not, that's a bit of a red flag on his social etiquette. I wouldn't be hasty and break up with him specifically over this without telling him first that it bothers you. If he continues, or you have other reasons for wanting to break up, then it's really just up to your feelings.

As for selfishness: Is it selfish to put your own needs ahead of someone else's? Yes. Humans are inherently selfish creatures. You have to decide how selfish you are willing to be to secure your own happiness. Selfishness in good measure isn't necessarily something to feel bad about. Just note that if you are too selfish, people won't like you very much.

[–]practicewhatyoulearnEndorsed Contributor1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It is terrifying.

I'm willing to bet that every woman here has looked or thought about her SO's Ex and realised that in some way, shape or form that they're better than them. And if you let it, it will paralyse you. Think about it, you're considering leaving your BF over it.

Now I'm not preaching the fat acceptance movement here - but you've got to invest in a little self-love. Do something that makes you happy to be in your body! That could be standing in front of the mirror and deciding that yes, you like your eyes, or hot damn, do you have a nice ass. Or it could be kicking ass at the gym and feeling proud of what you achieved under the squat bar. And if you're not happy with a certain area, work on it. Choose one or two of your problem areas so you don't feel overwhelmed, write a goal, turn it into a 6 month plan, break that down in a monthly plan and then break that down again into a weekly plan to reach that desired outcome. Then own those goals every single day. When you do something to improve yourself, everything, and I mean everything gets a lot, lot better.

Secondly, when a guy is in the moment he's not going to be mentally comparing the size of your thighs to Slutty-Sarah's thighs. He's not going to be touching your arms and thinking 'guuurl, you got twigs for arms, not like Bicep-Betty'... he's going to be focused on the moment. Enjoying the moment and enjoying the experience with you! That's what you need to focus on when you do decide to have sex. <3

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

n-counts are different for men vs women.

for a guy to have a high n-count, that means he already is high SMV.

for a girl to have a high n-count, that just means she showed up. she needs not be high SMV, and now that she has a high n-count, she's low RMV.

[–]practicewhatyoulearnEndorsed Contributor4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

Feel bad about yourself, or feel like you won't measure up or be enough? -There's a subtle difference but a large one.

[–]mysticqueen22 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I won't measure up. But it's really one in the same isn't it - You can't feel inadequate without feeling bad about yourself can you?

[–]practicewhatyoulearnEndorsed Contributor8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If I'm barking up the wrong tree here, feel free to disregard what I'm saying but it sounds like your boyfriend/the relationship isn't making you insecure - instead you're letting your own self-doubt and worry eat away at you, and that's why you're feeling bad.

First things first, your SO chose to commit to you knowing you hadn't had a sexual partner before. Just focus on that for a minute - he chose to dedicate some of his most valuable resources (commitment and time) to you. That means he cares and wants you in his life. A low partner count is a wonderful thing. And a lot of men see it as such - chances are your SO is one of them too. Don't let the fear that you won't be as good as some of the girls he's slept with in the past ruin your relationship and the future you could have.

However, if it really is a big deal - and not just your insecurities and self-doubt sabotaging your happiness - then vet future boyfriends more rigorously in the future. Think long and hard about what numbers you'll accept and how you feel about ONS vs. LTRs to avoid this stress in the future.

[–]McLuhanSaidItFirst2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

I can't say this strongly enough. All the people here who say you are sitting on 4 aces are exactly right. You are looking at a perfect situation for yourself if you can keep this guy and you think he's good for you.

The only reason you see a problem is your hamster is telling you there is a problem. Almost every other woman out there has fucked this up. Except you and a few other unicorns.

Sheesh. Any woman who would disagree with what the men here are telling you ('you did it exactly right') is trying to get you killed. Seriously. This is the opposite of a problem.

Just focus on The Surrendered Wife and you will be in the top 99% for life satisfaction for the rest of your life.

[–]mysticqueen22 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I can't say this strongly enough. All the people here who say you are sitting on 4 aces are exactly right. You are looking at a perfect situation for yourself if you can keep this guy and you think he's good for you. The only reason you see a problem is your hamster is telling you there is a problem. Almost every other woman out there has fucked this up. Except you and a few other unicorns. Sheesh. Any woman who would disagree with what the men here are telling you ('you did it exactly right') is trying to get you killed. Seriously. This is the opposite of a problem. Just focus on The Surrendered Wife and you will be in the top 99% for life satisfaction for the rest of your life.

I don't necessarily see a problem with a woman having a high body count though. As a college student especially, I don't think reading The Surrendered Wife is something i'm all that interested in at this point in my life.

[–]McLuhanSaidItFirst2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

This just occurred to me. It looks like you are taking on the burden of his higher N-count. If he was a virgin, too, would you be feeling this way? No, most certainly not.

You are hamstering as strongly about body counts for women in general as you are about feeling bad for being a virgin compared to all the other women he's been with. Honestly - when he talks about all those women - do you feel special? Of course not; that's just another way of stating the issue, but I suspect it is closer to the real problem. Could it be that you are worried about his count but you maybe think it would be unfairly judgmental to bring it up as the issue between you? Afraid you will lose him if you are honest about caring about his number? You have a right to your feelings, to care about it, and to see it as his lack of value to you, instead of your lack of value to him. It's so easy to trigger feelings of unworthiness in a woman if a man appears to be high value. But if he can't offer you the secure feeling of knowing that he saved himself for you, is he really such high value?

I don't know the answer to any of these questions, but this is what occurs to me.

He is going to have to work really hard to love you so that you feel special to him. He is the one that should be worried about his ability to create a solid relationship bond with you. Sex is easy. Relationships are hard. You are set up to have a great relationship because you have put off sex. He has set himself up to have a difficult relationship with you (and it has popped up already) because he failed to put off sex. What is the difficulty he has created? You are feeling bad about his count. Everybody wants to feel special. If a partner has a high count, it requires mental gymnastics to feel special. Virgins - no question about being special. It matters.

I don't necessarily see a problem with a woman having a high body count though.

Because you're a woman? Because you are in a dysfunctional culture? Because almost everyone your age is doing it? There are lots of people who drive without a seatbelt and eat too many carbs, too. People are morons. You are too young to have experienced the later consequences/results of multiple partners in people your age or personally. It is a real thing for women, that's why it matters to men, a lot:

the CDC's NSFG study has been run at least 4 times now and always has the same results... high n-count women have drastically higher rates for divorce, chronic depression, unstable marriages, and STDs. all of these are lowest at 0 partners... what's "high"? divorce rate is already at 50% by 5 partners, and she's practically guaranteed to get divorced at 16+ partners.

Some talk about how virgins are a pain in the neck because they have to be taught and that is the biggest pack of lies ever. The only reason a man would ever shame a woman for being a virgin is so he can screw her, and take something that, once he has it, is worthless to him, and once you lose it, is irreplaceable.

If you have ever read TRP and seen how men talk about women who are virgins, or are past 3 or 4 sex partners, or past 15 or 30, you might think differently. Those guys are serious as a heart attack. They'd all screw you without a second thought, and all your friends, over and over until they have no interest in you. It's a cold world, and those guys are just hypocrites. They talk like the Cock Carousel is something that only affects women, because of those CDC statistics. What they are in denial about is that once a man's count goes past a certain number, he's a lot less likely or able to commit to a woman at all to begin with. It's chilling to read their 'Field Reports' about their plates - women who are being passed from one bored smooth talker to another. Just more and more plates, over and over, until they can't stand to ask "where'd you go to high school?'' one more time. Then they wonder why there are no quality (read: low N count) women.

It's ridiculous to think that a high count would affect women only. Men and women are different, true, so they would experience different consequences, but the consequences are negative for both, just different. Men look down on women for riding the Cock Carousel... but men are the Cock Carousel. They even have some grim humour about it: "she's not 'yours'; it's just your turn". How cynical and jaded.

As a college student especially, I don't think reading The Surrendered Wife is something i'm all that interested in at this point in my life.

If you don't want to marry this guy anytime soon, then it's not so important at the moment. If you don't want to marry him at all, or you're not sure, for heaven's sake don't sleep with him.

I'm just sayin' - it sounds like you don't know what you've got. You are in a perfect situation to start a solid family life; almost all women your age have lost that advantage. When you described your situation I assumed (big assumption on my part, I was probably projecting) that you two were really serious about each other, and so setting up to have a solid marriage was the next thing that occurred to me.

How do I know all this is true? Because I have made every mistake I am talking about.

I wish you well.

[–]mysticqueen22 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

If you have ever read TRP and seen how men talk about women who are virgins, or are past 3 or 4 sex partners, or past 15 or 30, you might think differently. Those guys are serious as a heart attack. They'd all screw you without a second thought, and all your friends, over and over until they have no interest in you. It's a cold world, and those guys are just hypocrites. They talk like the Cock Carousel is something that only affects women, because of those CDC statistics. What they are in denial about is that once a man's count goes past a certain number, he's a lot less likely or able to commit to a woman at all to begin with. It's chilling to read their 'Field Reports' about their plates - women who are being passed from one bored smooth talker to another. Just more and more plates, over and over, until they can't stand to ask "where'd you go to high school?'' one more time. Then they wonder why there are no quality (read: low N count) women.

I see. And what should I take from this information? I'm sorry I don't think I understood clearly. Are you telling me that men are all equally out to fuck women over? It's just playing the field?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

You don't see how sleeping around and having a reputation for being a slut could be detrimental to a woman?

[–]mysticqueen22 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

So are you telling me a woman shouldn't have sex as she pleases in fear of what others may perceive her as? I don't understand why a girl should stay a virgin just because it's going to turn a guy on.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It's not beneficial for you psychologically is what I'm telling you. If you haven't realized thaf casual sex does something negative to your self esteem, you will at some point. How about STD's and the risk of unplanned pregnancy? Herpes is unaffected by condoms and everyone knows someone who used birth control 100% correctly and got pregnant anyway.

I also will tell you that "sex as she pleases" isn't as much fun as the feminist agenda promises you it will be. But by all means, go out and learn these lessons for yourself.

[–]mysticqueen22 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I'm beginning to feel like it's torture either way; it's not psychologically beneficial being sexually inexperienced because you're under the impression that you've been undesirable up until this point and you have no way tally up your worth in comparison to your partnet. But on the other hand neither is it beneficial to be too experienced because that means you're easy and you don't have standards. Where is the line here?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

RPW's official stance is no sex without commitment. I don't think your inexperience is a bad thing. I feel like you're over analyzing things mostly.

If your bf is happy, I just don't understand the problem. You fell like you don't measure up, but that's a problem you're creating in your own mind. If your BF thought that, he wouldn't be with you.

[–]--cunt0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So why shouldn't men do that as well? You think less of your boyfriend and it's affecting your relationship, but it's okay for a woman to have sex as she pleases with no thought of future consequences and not a man? I disagree btw. No one likes a slut whether it's a man or woman, as your post proves. And that's okay...

I mean my fiancé and I both slutted it up in our college days before we met, but his number was much higher than mine. When I found out I felt shitty like I wasn't very special so I understand where you're coming from. I don't think it's worth breaking up over, IMO. My fiancé got sick of me being insecure about it and said listen it's in the past either accept it or leave. I love him so I stopped dwelling on it. It's in the past, what's he supposed to do about it, you know? He picked you. I almost take it as a compliment now- like he had his pick of women and he chose ME to commit to.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I was in a similar situation! Feel free to PM me

[–]balalasaurus2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't usually post here but u/practicewhatyoulearn is right. Speaking as an EC, make of that what you will.

[–]practicewhatyoulearnEndorsed Contributor0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you!

[–]mysticqueen22 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Not that I can "bag better" but more of wondering if I'm even good enough in the first place.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Look at it another way. He's been with other girls, and he STILL chose to be in an exclusive relationship with YOU. He's not in a relationship with them, is he? He's not taking them on dates and having long talks and doing romantic things for them. You beat out the competition, so clearly he thinks you're a catch.

I agree though that if you don't want to hear about his exes you can just say so. He's being slightly insensitive and probably has no idea it bothers you. Just tell him, if he cares for you he'll stop.

[–]lukeyj_gtfc0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

He wouldn't have chosen you if you weren't. Guys like a low n-count for a girl.

If you're uncomfortable with him telling you stories about his ex's. Tell him it doesn't make you feel good to hear it and you don't want to hear it. As a guy, I've accidentally done the same thing. Didn't realise how it would affect her.

He's slept with others because others found him attractive. Guys with low n-count may not be attractive to yourself or others.

There is a fine line between experience and impersonal. Guys don't expect amazing. Just be assertive with what you want and that's attractive.

You are going to have to come to terms with these issues as they will reoccur. Everyone has previous partners. They didn't work out though.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

None of us can tell you whether to keep him or leave him based on this single piece of information which can mean different things. What we can tell you is that if you decide to keep him, you really need to accept and be okay with his past.

Having had many past sexual partners doesn't have the same effect on men and women. Nevertheless, a man who had 100 one night stands, 30 friends with benefits and 15 girlfriends before reaching 27 is a player of epic proportions who is probably not a good choice for a LTR.

Having many sexual partners may raise the sexual value of a man, but it won't raise his RMV. It may even decrease it in some cases.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Are you worried that you're not as hot as his exes, or that you're not as experienced and skilled inbed?

If it's the former, not much I can help with, except to say that confidence is attractive so even if you are concerned about your body, let him adore and cherish it and don't ruin the moment by comments about your perceived imperfections.

However, if it's the latter... Probably not all guys would agree, but for me, the biggest difference in how good sex with someone is, is her enthusiasm. Simply said, a girl who loves cock is going to be an expert cocksucker in no time. Being a virgin, you have the added advantage that he'll be able to teach you exactly how he likes it. Same with sex - be enthusiastic, be horny, initiate from time to time ("random acts of blowjob"), try different things and find out new ways to otherworldly pleasures.

[–]redlemonade551 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

you are being really unreasonable. men are supposed to have a high n count while good women have low n counts. That's the price you pay for a high quality man.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

A relationship should build you up. If this relationship is doing the opposite for you, get out!

[–]HelloNeo0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Would you prefer someone with a lower partner count or a virgin?

[–]mysticqueen22 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I don't know how else to explain it other than just feeling inadequate.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

nope. you're not. your low n-count as a female makes you high RMV. as a virgin, it's the highest it can possibly be.

the CDC's NSFG study has been run at least 4 times now and always has the same results... high n-count women have drastically higher rates for divorce, chronic depression, unstable marriages, and STDs. all of these are lowest at 0 partners... what's "high"? divorce rate is already at 50% by 5 partners, and she's practically guaranteed to get divorced at 16+ partners.

the UVA study confirmed the same results, and went one step further, finding that male's n-count has no statistical effect for divorce, chronic depression, or marriage instability, but a similar upward trend for STDs.

for both sexes, you can definitively get tested and rule out STDs, whereas there is no test for "she will want a divorce later in life." because of divorce laws (alimony, child support, custody) so wildly favoring women, a woman at 5+ partners isn't low RMV... she's negative RMV. sexual liberation of women means that most women blow through 5 partners by high school, and multiple studies have women's self reported averages at 10-20 by age 21. women also tend to under-report, hamstering away "it was in cancun so it didn't count!" so unfortunately, the average woman in modern western society is biologically unfit for marriage. this is part of the reason why the marriage rate, generation to generation, is in freefall.

as you have your v-card still, you're very high value. you're not inadequate because of your inexperience. his past women are inadequate for giving it up so easily.

TLDR: you're high RMV. keep it that way til marriage.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I don't disagree with your points at all. Just wondering, why do you think there's a gap between what young people are doing and what they are saying they want?

http://www.gallup.com/poll/191462/gallup-analysis-millennials-marriage-family.aspx

While marriage is at an all time low for millennials, with just 27% being married, the analysis also says, "a 2013 Gallup poll found that 86% of single/never married Americans aged 18 to 34 (roughly equivalent to the millennial generation) wanted to get married someday."

Do you think it's just a peter pan generation that will even itself out and simply marry older?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

Do you think it's just a peter pan generation that will even itself out and simply marry older?

the data doesn't suggest that. the data shows the marriage rate for both 90s and 80s babies already leveled off. my link above is from the CDC's NSFG data.

every study that's looked into age and marriage has said that the later someone waits to get married, it's drastically less likely they'll ever get married. the explanation they usually give is that the older someone gets, the more distinctive and unforgiving they are in their requirements. moreover, very few guys find value in starting a fresh relationship with a post-wall woman, even if the guy isn't RP/mgtow.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Even if the numbers have leveled off it's still true that most people in this demo say they want marriage. So they're either lying, planning on marrying later, or just delusional about what they actually want vs. what they should want.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

just delusional about what they actually want vs. what they should want.

it's delusion, but not about "what they actually want" vs "what they should want"... it's delusion about what's likely to happen vs what actually happens. and the bulk of that delusion is driven by third wave feminism.

i mean, here's an article by NPR about the realities of fertility. NPR got a TON of shit for doing this article, and every time anyone in media mentions fertility facts, there's a huge backlash labeling it as sexist. it's to the point that OBGYN's now can rarely even talk about simple medical facts to their own patients because modern feminism will turn around and label them as sexist.

Collura admits that fading fertility is a hard message to deliver. "Let's be honest, women don't want to hear that they can't have it all," she says.

they don't just have their fingers in their ears about biological reality. they scream about sexism/misogyny when you bring those facts up, even when italy direly needs people to shack up and have babies (their birth is a dismal 1.35).

on top of that, historically, people who make it to their mid 30s while still single are extremely unlikely to marry, regardless of what their desires are.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah, got it. Thanks for the links, makes sense.

[–]bowie7470 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Most guys love a virgin, you know. He'll love that you're his and have only ever been his.

[–]rainyweathergirl0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to tell him that talking about it hurts your feelings and that you would rather not know about his past sexual experiences.

Browse all authors
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter