Incel is a slang term used to describe someone who is an “involuntary celibate”, ie a person who desires sex but isn’t having it.

They’re teased for being virgins (“virgin-shaming”). This is a new societal shift that has radically changed within the past two decades. It wasn’t long ago when you may have been shamed for being sexual outside of marriage, now you’re shamed if you haven’t had sex before marriage.

Think about the 2005 movie The 40-Year-Old Virgin where the main character is encouraged by his friends to lose his virginity as an objective unto its own. In short, the worldview is if you haven’t had sex by 30, you must be not only sexually inadequate, defective, and inept.

They’re also sometimes teased or bullied for being socially awkward or being different. This often can be due to physical disabilities, physical characteristics (weight, height, facial features, acne, etc.), and a lack of understanding social cues (not knowing when to start or stop talking, not knowing how much to share and possibly over-sharing in certain situations to name a few).

Combine this with their social isolation along with hobbies and interests that lend themselves to public mockery,like online games,comics etc.

The level of humiliation and shame is difficult on each individual level, let alone the collective toll it can have on a person’s psyche who may already be grappling with prior levels of shame before being exposed to the soul-crushing sexual shame that afflicts these individuals. The sexual inadequacy among men may be the most humiliating and painful in terms of shame.

It's not fun, because if you can't get laid you are not a Man ™. That affects your sense of self worth, females can pick up that you are insecure, inexperienced and that leads to them becoming dry as Sahara.

As age progresses it get worse because you have performance anxiety and no experience. Sadly, women cannot perhaps fully understand the physiological impact of how it actually is to be a male in this situation.

It leads to self hate, depression and sometimes sadly anger and violence. If you for example have autistic traits, it makes it awfully hard to get a girlfriend.

There are PUA seminars that sadly preys on sad lonely men,-and some of these actually cannot change who they are or improve. No persistence,no PUA seminars or tactics can help anyone who just can't help that they are on the autistic spectrum,have a bad stutter or is short or ugly.

And there are women that can reject some men in a very crude and cruel way,or use them for free food,drinks etc without any regrets or feeling at all to a better candidate comes along.

There are also the risk of being labelled as a creep and being plastered on social media as such. The rampant fluidic definition of what constitutes a #meetoo or rape and that women ( this is discussed heavily ) in most cases are the gatekeepers of sex and has it perhaps less stressful and risky on the market leads to men giving up and opting out.

What do we do with them? What can we do for them? How about compassion, empathy and understanding ? That's my thoughts on the Incel phenomenon.