Men mocked for calling a domestic abuse hotline

LettuceBeGrateful · 2019-05-25T15:19:03+00:00

64% were told assistance was only available to women.

55% were referred to batterers' programs.

16% were ridiculed.

12% were blamed for their abuse.

Shameful.

Halafax · 2019-05-25T16:49:01+00:00

This is a complicated issue. The people that these positions (both paid and unpaid) attract often have an anti-male bias. In many cases, their bias was the reason they sought these positions. Combined with training that is frequently biased against men, I fear for men that try to use these services.

Because I did, and it was awful. I called RAINN after my ex wife got caught making kiddie porn (to sell) of our young daughter. I was still paying spousal and child support to my accused ex, who was sitting in jail. I was broke, and trying to figure out how to help my daughter. Calling RAINN was the only option I could think of, the county had already turned me away.

I called during a week day, I was so stressed I stayed home from work to do it. The person I was routed to seemed to be working from some sort of decision tree. I explained the situation, she started collecting personal information and then spent an hour going over my story. And over. And over. After an hour, she had apparently convinced herself that she couldn’t accuse me of anything and then abruptly cut me loose without any support. She suggested I take my daughter to one of RAINN’s affiliated offices and pay for support. No book or website recommendations, no support group recommendations, not even a drop of good advise.

I hope RAINN helps someone, somewhere. I do not recommend that men contact them if the abuser is a woman, they will burn all their energy trying to trip you up.

I got ahold of a RAINN representative who was being hosted by the mods in the legal advice sub. My question post regarding my experience was the highest voted post for the 3/4ths of the duration of the QA, she would not answer it. Then the mods locked the thread, and sometime later they ninja unlocked and relocked it do that she could respond.

Her response completely sidestepped my question, she was simply doing damage control. I could not respond, because post was locked.

These folks and their advocates honestly don’t give a shit about men, except for their donations.

FirmIncome6 · 2019-05-25T20:14:58+00:00

I am living proof that this happens. I am still stuck in an abusive relationship largely in part to this. I definitely am and have the courage to go to a men’s shelter where I could be supported back on my feet. I live in one of the highest populated areas in the world and still cannot find such a place. Social services, psychiatrists, therapists, and shelters all alike have treated me the same way. I have literally been mocked and blamed for the abuse I’ve been through with women by my own family members saying things like, “c’mon! You’re a grown man and she’s so small and you’re telling me you’re terrified of her? Grow some balls and move on dumbass!”

It’s crazy. My heart and prayers go out to any men like me trapped in abusive relationships because there is zero support and tons of ridicule for us. May we all make it. My best advice: no matter what, stay calm men! Stay calm!!! Women and children may be allowed to be as monstrous and abusive as they want, but not us men. There is a jail cell with your name on it at all times so stay calm and stay outta trouble. Many women these days frequently bait men into situations wherein the man is likely to be arrested, unknowingly feeding and filling the pockets of private prison systems and private, inhumane interests. Useful idiots abound!

Yikes.

DJ-Roukan · 2019-05-25T14:19:07+00:00

This is a great study.

superhobo666 · 2019-05-25T20:24:38+00:00

Yeah no surprise there, most men in Canada who call these lines outright get told to fuck off, if they aren't hung up on as soon as the SJW manning the phone hears his voice.

Criket · 2019-05-25T22:46:26+00:00

Happened to me. Then later it became worst. Wife end up severely beating one of our kids. Divorce court made me responsible for her bad mood.

DannyDevitolove · 2019-05-25T15:34:27+00:00

Why is it that in the West only women get abused and only men abuse?

Mindraker · 2019-05-26T02:13:11+00:00

We're turning into the UK.

PlatothePyro · 2019-05-26T17:31:11+00:00

Wow okay. Woman will soon learn victim blaming goes both ways.

MRA-automatron-2kb · 2019-05-25T16:23:48+00:00

Welcome to the MRA sub.

Title	Men mocked for calling a domestic abuse hotline
Author	Suck-Less
Upvotes	185
Comments	18
Date	May 25, 2019 2:13 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/bsuxxx/men_mocked_for_calling_a_domestic_abuse_hotline/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/men-mocked-for-calling-a-domestic-abuse-hotline.876924 https://theredarchive.com/post/876924

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