I need some advice. :-)

nO0f · 2018-12-30T02:51:19+00:00

Tell her, "no it wouldn't." And go about the procedure to start a club.

fengpi · 2018-12-30T03:11:01+00:00

that doing so would promote toxic masculinity and reinforce patriarchal structures that have oppressed women. She literally said this to me.

Ask her to define her terms, in writing, about what the hell that's supposed to mean because that could mean anything. Find a copy of the regulations to see if there is any portion of the regulations which the club would violate (I suspect there isn't). Then, armed with these documents, go over her head and show why you're not in the wrong.

If the lead admin would allow a girls-only program but disallow a boys-only program, then argue that she's guilty of sex discrimination. Either single sex clubs are okay for both sexes, or they are to be forbidden for both of them. She can't have a program for girls only and disallow one for boys.

agressiveloser · 2018-12-30T02:55:41+00:00

Is there someone higher up that you can discuss this with? Like the superintendent or school council?

mikesteane · 2018-12-30T03:47:53+00:00

" doing so would promote toxic masculinity and reinforce patriarchal structures that have oppressed women"

"That's why the need me there, to make sure this doesn't happen."

JackIsThicc · 2018-12-30T19:24:07+00:00

UPDATE: Admin has been suspended for gender-based discrimination.

The higher-up (the superintendent) -- a man -- was actually a boy scout and was appalled by the admins blatant discrimination. He honored my request for the boys youth group, and I am typing up a permission slip as we speak!

ekzheng · 2018-12-30T03:02:07+00:00

Present to her your reasoning for wanting to start this club, which is what you’ve told us. If, for some reason, she continues to claim that it promotes such a thing, then you could resort to means like pointing out her hypocritical sexism. If she is how you said she is, your best bet is to keep a level head and explain calmly.

mrwhibbley · 2018-12-30T06:12:43+00:00

Call it a lego and dungeons and dragon activity club. No girl will join.

BlueOrange22 · 2018-12-30T03:07:45+00:00

You need to directly challenge this, what the principal is saying makes no sense and cannot be logically defended. It is likely that she is SJW and not operating in good faith, so you need to be prepared for unreasonable push back.

Make it an issue, make print outs, go to the parents, challenge the principal on specifics, ask her specifically why helping the struggling gender would reinforce gender roles, and what gender roles she means, etc.

Tell her that as a woman, it's not her place to define what masculinity is, in the same way that it wouldn't be right for a man to define what feminism is.

Your male students are asking because they feel the need for it and want it.

The thing is, we don't live in a fair world and what I just said could get you fired, so it's really up to you....I see this as a marge bigger and more crucial trend. Ignorant and sexist statements from your principal needs to be resisted everywhere,

JTKirkSr · 2018-12-30T05:12:17+00:00

The first rule of after school boys-only club, is never talk about after school boys-only club. The second rule.......... Best of luck Bro.

Evildl17 · 2018-12-30T03:39:00+00:00

Bring up the test scores. You have proof that that your male students could use something to boost their interest in school. Use the evidence in your hands and explain that its a uniquely male problem and you would have no problem with a similar all girls group being formed. Then follow up asking why they would be so disinterested in motivating disinterested and struggling students. And be gender neutral with that claim of students specifically. Circumvent their ideology. This is about them not caring about kids, not patriarchy so keep it out of that ballpark.

If they take it there, accuse them of being a bad feminist in a round about way, saying that neglecting boys is how toxic masculinity starts, whereas boys with role models are more likely to respect women. All that is accomplished by trying to end sexism through exclusion is generating more sexism.

As for motivating your male students outside of the group, pay attention, recognize their attempts to learn and keep encouraging. Discuss with other teachers their performance and remind them not to neglect them.

Mezcalier · 2018-12-30T05:13:48+00:00

Meet outside of school. She can stuff it. This is horse shit.

DougDante · 2018-12-30T10:47:49+00:00

Probably violates Title IX, although "Girls who Code" hides in plain sight as "Kids who Code" and boys are told to leave when they show up (see other posts).

Offer a boy-friendly club that is also open to girls.

Math problems explained through racing car analogies.

Geography taught with emphasis on wars fought.

Whatever you like.

dacracot · 2018-12-30T03:10:48+00:00

Is there a venue outside of school where you could form the club, say a Boys & Girls Club or a Community Center? Check your board of education bylaws about extracurricular activities to make sure, but I would think you could do it as a non-school affiliated club.

Melohdy · 2018-12-30T12:33:08+00:00

We use to have something called the boy scouts, which was male only.

confusedsnake · 2018-12-30T04:36:58+00:00

Either try to convince her(don’t challenge her ideology, give up if there aren’t girls only clubs)

Or try to make an independent club (school may still threaten your job)

Pioustarcraft · 2018-12-30T07:05:29+00:00

Do iy anyway but make sure to always record every club gathering.
They will come back at you and blme you for every miss conduct from any boy in the school whether or not they are in your club. This is whent the recordings will help you show with massive prove that your are not promoting "toxic" behaviour.
So yeah basicly, if she really don't like it, she will build a case to destroy the club and you for any reason possible. Up to you to gather data from the start.
Prepare the club gathering like your life depend on it. Have written material, have a program with what you you teach in the club. Always ask feedback from the parents (written !) and make sure to highlight the positive ones.
When they will come at you (and they will !) with a bullshit excuse to shut you down, you will have a very large and well documented amount of evidence showing the good you do for the kids.

Men-Are-Human · 2018-12-30T09:43:57+00:00

Would it be possible to add this as a quote to an article on education for www.menarehuman.com at all? It can be anonymous if you like. The article would be continuing from this one: https://menarehuman.com/sexism-vs-boys-part-1/amp/

MyOldNameSucked · 2018-12-30T11:30:24+00:00

Just a question, why does the club need to be boys only? Sure it's a group of guys who asked for it and need it, but how would allowing girls to participate impact the quality? Why not make it a mixed gender club that happens to have a very low amount (possibly 0) of girls in it?

2018-12-30T19:31:37+00:00

I wanted to thank you all for taking the time to respond to my post! :) I really appreciate it! :)

I just wanted to make clear that I was not the one who first wanted teh boys-only club; my guys did. I just aggreed to be the leader and supervisor of it. I honestly thought that creating a space for boys would help their performance in school.

I am a rather new teacher, and my inner big brother was kicking in. LOL.

alclarkey · 2018-12-30T13:17:57+00:00

If there are girls only clubs at that school, I believe you have some legal options as that is discrimination.

baconbitz0 · 2018-12-30T15:25:28+00:00

As a teacher myself in around the same age range I would be VERY careful. How many male co workers are there in your primary division?

How many female colleagues could you see seeing your point of view?

Now that your admin knows your intentions it’s possible that you’ll have a target on your back. I’d get as many colleagues on board to have your back as best as possible keeping the line of positive male role models and values education.

Another way to go about this is to create a different ASA like coaching a team game of some kind and encourage sportsmanship in the meantime. I’d also argue that part of the way you could address certain issues is by not separating genders but collaborating between them and designing games that reinforce values of respect, empathy, tolerance and kindness.

Title	I need some advice. :-)
Author	amarte2317616
Upvotes	70
Comments	50
Date	December 30, 2018 2:47 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/aary14/i_need_some_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-need-some-advice.887468 https://theredarchive.com/post/887468

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