All the pain of years of betahood unloaded on my dad. I feel terrible (drunk, sorry for grammatical errors)

da-way · 2013-12-25T03:12:34+00:00

How the fuck can I look this man in the eyes anymore[?]

Know that he is your father and that he loves you.

Know that he is as flawed as you are and that he want's nothing more than that you surpass him in every way.

Know that if he couldn't be the one to show you the way maybe you have to be the one to show him the way and be his rock.

Know that you love him in spite of his faults.

Know that you love him.

LeChevalierRouge · 2013-12-25T02:59:59+00:00

and I just dropped a bomb on this old man's fucking manhood and pride

After tearing it to shreds and burning it down. You are his son and you cut at the core of his masculinity. Although he has a reason to stay in Canada, consider that he might also need you right now.

Swallowing the red pill is hard. It is easy to see how your life could have been better with this new perspective and feel rage against those you feel wronged you. This is a stage of grief you have to go through. But you will not become a strong man until you can accept the reality of your situation and take full responsibility for improving it. There is no room for blame, not toward any other person, the uncaring universe, nor even yourself.

Remember the man your dad used to be. Do you think he knew what the downstream effects would be of being the stay-at-home parent and of supplicating his wife? Or was he just doing what society said he should do?

In your shoes I would apologize to him, blame it on being shitfaced and torn up over what has happened to him. You want to be a strong man like he was when he met your mother, not what he turned into. It is not too late for him, in fact you need him to improve with you, to help set an example. Remember that he is a man like you, he needs to be valued and feel useful. Him believing he can help you may make him thrive. It is not important that you actually think he can help you, just express faith in him and be open to having him surprise you.

You are ahead of him in reclaiming your manhood, and would likely provide the initial leadership. Leading your father to reclaim his manhood... now that is alpha as fuck.

Zackcid · 2013-12-25T02:11:54+00:00

Whoa take it easy, man. Anger is a very logical stage of processing the red pill. Remember, women will act like women, the same way dogs act like dogs. No need to act like this, you gotta be in control of your emotions.

As for your father, you can't take back what you said. However, you, nor he, can change the past. You can't be angry at him about this, he did what he felt was best at the time and acted accordingly, regardless of how alpha or beta he was. He busted his ass and took the disrespect for you, most likely.

At least make the best of this situation and re-establish your relationship with your father. Include him in your life. Allow him to be the father he is trying to be. He probably feels like he fucked up a ton. Considering he's older now, let him see that the fruit of his labors were worth it. Be the man he wished for you to be: a better man than him. Let him go out on a high note. It's the least you can do as a son.

And take a deep breath before you unleash yourself like that. You regretted what you said. Learn from this and don't do it again. And if this is what happens when you get drunk, consider drinking less.

alt30313 · 2013-12-25T04:11:14+00:00

How the fuck can I look this man in the eyes anymore[?]

You're Dad was sold a bill of goods by your mother and society. He like (many mothers) sacrificed to raise you. Your Dad (like many women) deserves to be respected and taken care of for his sacrifice. You might should mention to your mother that you feel she is being unfair to your father (The threat of not being involved in your and her future grandkids life may help her do the right thing but I doubt it). In my opinion, a man takes care of their family ( you've got a few years before this becomes possible beyond housing but keep it in mind).

[deleted] · 2013-12-25T04:40:37+00:00

As /u/throchoway said elsewhere in the thread:

let him see that the fruit of his labors were worth it. Be the man he wished for you to be: a better man than him. Let him go out on a high note. It's the least you can do as a son.

A million times this. Simply being able to be proud of how you turned out will make your dad's old age 1000 times better. Parenthood is a funny thing, parents are often willing to move heaven and earth and lay down their own life simply so their kids turn out well. By far the best thing you can do for your dad is to make it worth it

That, and provide him a safe space away from your "mother".

One last point, and that is that your dad could easily have several decades to live, maybe more depending on medical advances between now and then (I also subscribe to /r/futurology). 60s is not to late to take the pill...hell, get him away from your "mother", get him to take the red pill and revert to his more alpha ways, and he could be absolutely slaying it with desperate whores who are nearing or past the wall but still multiple decades younger than him.

DominumNegros · 2013-12-25T04:18:41+00:00

This post made me feel pure unadulterated sadness. If you don't serve as an example you serve as a warning.

Doctor_Mayhem · 2013-12-25T02:14:24+00:00

Oh man i really feel for him, not for the beta lifestyle he leads, he made his bed for that, he must lay in it but because he really probably felt bad enough about all of that without having it smacked around his face like that.

Obviously you must do what is right by your family, but he needs to feel he has your support because you know what whether its too late for him to change or not he needs to know he has his son behind him. Because from the sounds of it your support may be one of the last things he can actually rely on. Put this right man. Before the wound deepens.

Theophagist · 2013-12-25T09:02:20+00:00

I liken your tantrum to a cave man who discovered how to make a spark being mad at his dad for having to find an existing fire, so growing up they would often not have fire. He couldn't teach you and you froze until you found a flint. And now you're mad that he didn't find it first and give it to you?

IllimitableMan · 2013-12-25T04:27:17+00:00

I know it's the man's fault for letting women do this to them

Men have hearts and feel compassion/sympathy for anyone/everyone, especially those close. Women do a good job at seeming like they give a fuck when they actually don't, whereas men do a good job at seeming like they don't give a fuck when they do.

This is why you have to practice stoicism, sometimes a mans love can get the better of him, he'll give in to shit and it sets a precedent for the grown-up child aka the woman to just shit on everyone because ultimately, unless they have a small child they give no fucks about anyone more than themselves. They feel inherently entitled to shit and when shit fucks up for whatever reason, they hold the grudge against the man who didn't meet whatever standard was expected for eternity, women don't get over shit.

Men never get a break, literally, ever. If you're in a relationship with a woman, married, got kids and all that jazz its your responsibility for the rest of your life to make sure that shit stays put together. The kid leans on the parents, the mother leans on the father, the father has nobody but himself. Being a man takes skill, it's a bitch, we need whiskey, good male friends, time to relax/laugh.. men need time for themselves, men get put on, it aint easy being a man, even the most stoic of badasses get their times of weakness. Your dad sounds like he was an alpha in and of himself, but he didn't know the games women pull because your mother managed to get him under heel. It's sad, but it is what it is. I kinda pity the guy, he's clearly tried his best.

You have every right to be mad, fuck I would be as well, even though its his fault, he's not the one being a cunt though, your mother is. Red pill example of how women are the second sex, she provides begrudgingly (your dad has to beg her) it's fucked up man, fucked up. I feel for your situation.

Women on the other hand just disrespect you for being weak, their compassion/sympathy is limited to small children. They are cunts. They respect/love nothing but strength and small children. Everything else they are insufferable assholes to. All their sensibilities and "sensitivity" is selfishness, much of their kindness is completely superficial and overly dramatised. There are some loving women out there, but they are fucking rare. Most of them are hollow creatures and the ones who are full of love? Generally they're being kept in line by a guy on top of his shit.

A womans love is conditional on the premise that you are stronger than her mentally, if you're not, game over - she will fuck your mind and fuck up the family, hence the divorce rate. How anybody can think such selfish, illogical, irrational creatures are "equal" or even half what the fuck a man is, is fucking beyond me, truly.

You and your pops gotta bond and shit man, don't beat yourself up and don't blame him too hard. Do man shit together, you're lucky you even have your dad, he may have not fit the standard or ideal you'd like but many people here had no father at all, I mean, never even met the guy because they're the spawn of an alpha fucks. Think about that. You guys need to help each other, he may be your dad but he's only human too. He shits and bleeds and cries just like you do, not that your mother gives any fucks. Bitch.

[deleted] · 2013-12-25T04:02:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

RedPillScare · 2013-12-25T08:30:35+00:00

"drank and smoke a lot and even beat my mom when she got out of line"

I hope to fuck these aren't considered Red Pill values. Drinking and Smoking? not respecting your body. Hitting a woman? why the fuck would you ever hit a human being if it isn't self defence, sounds like your dad was a dick back in the day.

jubilant_jew · 2013-12-25T04:04:03+00:00

I remember he didn't take shit from anybody and drank and smoked a lot when I was younger and even beat my mom when she got out of line.

Sorry, I'm as RP as they come, but your dad sounds like a complete piece of shit. That behavior sounds like the actions of a child. Downvote me all you want people, but smoking, drinking, and beating women is unacceptable, no hamstering involved.

How the fuck can I look this man in the eyes anymore.

Not surprising. If my father had ever beat my mother, I would hate his fucking guts for as long as I lived.

I can't believe this thread is garnering legitimate discussion. Are we really letting some piece of shit father story reach the front page? Way to go guys. This is fucking pathetic.

betabux · 2013-12-25T06:50:09+00:00

Holy fuck man. Just shed a tear.

God damn I don't even know why I am crying right now, is it because I am a bit drunk? god fucking damnit why am I so empathetic. man just give your old man a hug he deserves it

JohnGalt316 · 2013-12-25T07:51:47+00:00

fuck man this post hit close to home

my dad is also a beta doctor and he never taught me how to be a man, but i'd never tell him these things

i just love him for the things he is ... smart, hard working, great provider, and someone who gave me an opportunity to live a much better life than him

ihavespellingproblem · 2013-12-25T08:14:25+00:00

Many things from your post look familiar.
I involuntary changed my attitude towards my dad in the past year. We got somewhat closer. And I finally understood my uncle, what he said about when I was 18, that neither he or my dad were never taught how to be a father because they never had a man around when they were kids.
Also I what to scream at my dad sometimes. Something along you said to your dad. I'm afraid I will hurt him a lot if I do.

trpRX · 2013-12-25T10:04:32+00:00

Take the journey together...

johnnight · 2013-12-25T13:03:44+00:00

I can feel your anger. It gives you focus. Makes you stronger.

dub121686 · 2013-12-25T16:49:55+00:00

He's still your dad, red pill stuff aside

[deleted] · 2013-12-26T01:13:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

themasterof · 2013-12-26T02:06:18+00:00

If you want to make your dad feel good again, ask him to teach how to become the alpha he once were. He remembers it, he knows the rules and how to act. Ask him to teach you a few things that he learned in his time as an alpha dude. Ask him to teach you some judo tricks and some guard tricks.

It will make him feel useful and masculine again, to know that he has some manhood to pass on. You are not asking because you want to learn this, but because you want him to feel better.

CarbonNightmare · 2013-12-25T15:56:40+00:00

With enough help from you and the RP community, I'm sure you can help get your dad back to his alcoholic, wife-beating heyday. Also remember that he has no personal responsibility for his life choices, but your mother's choices reflect accurately on half the population, and you can take out your anger on any female you wish because it's your happiness that matters, and they are directly responsible for your upbringing.

Why don't you stop being a selfish shit, and not condense 20+ years of marriage and parenting into an couple of paragraphs in a little Internet tantrum and treat your parents with some goddamn respect.

Title	All the pain of years of betahood unloaded on my dad. I feel terrible (drunk, sorry for grammatical errors)
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	38
Comments	104
Date	December 25, 2013 1:41 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1tn91e/all_the_pain_of_years_of_betahood_unloaded_on_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/all-the-pain-of-years-of-betahood-unloaded-on-my.9223 https://theredarchive.com/post/9223

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