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They met on a dating site and went bowling. It was a setup, police say, and now he’s dead. And they say online dating is dangerous for women?

roharareddit

November 29, 2016
220 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/true-crime/wp/2016/08/24/they-met-on-a-dating-site-and-went-bowling-it-was-a-setup-police-say-and-now-hes-dead/?tid=a_inl
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Post Information
Title They met on a dating site and went bowling. It was a setup, police say, and now he’s dead. And they say online dating is dangerous for women?
Author

roharareddit

Upvotes 220
Comments 49
Date November 29, 2016 11:04 AM UTC
(9 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/5fi2ln/they_met_on_a_dating_site_and_went_bowling_it_was/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/they-met-on-a-dating-site-and-went-bowling-it-was.936755
https://theredarchive.com/post/936755
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Comments

[–]gnomeChomskii 11 points12 points13 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So I've got a good friend who met a woman on okcupid. They dated for three years. He broke up with her when he found out that she had been living two lives the entire time they were together, almost four years. She was with the other guy a bit less than half of the time throughout the week. Not only that but she had lied about her age, name, education, and so forth. And to top it all off theres compelling evidence that she was poisoning him AND his dog, over the years. I don't think it matters much that it was actually her dog in the beginning now does it.

[–]TuDaveKd 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

She did all this...for 50 dollars in cash? Are you kidding me?

[–]AQMessiah 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Heroin is a hell of a drug.

[–]average_shill 62 points63 points64 points 9 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

Not sure one anecdote makes online dating safer for either gender. This sub makes some stretches.

[–]roharareddit[S] 19 points20 points21 points 9 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link

The reason I posted this article was to point out that men, too, put themselves at risk when meeting a stranger they met online. How is that a stretch?

[–]MemeticParadigm 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The problem is that you are failing to be consistent in identifying the supposedly widely held belief you are attempting to challenge. To be clear:

the widely held belief that only women are at risk when meeting strangers.

and

a widely held belief that women are more at risk in casual dating scenarios than men.

are two very, very different beliefs. What you are doing here, is presenting this anecdote as though it challenges the latter belief, but when you get called on it (because the anecdote is woefully insufficient to challenge that belief), you act like you were only claiming to challenge the former (much easier to challenge) belief in the first place.

I believe this is a rhetorical maneuver referred to as the motte and bailey, and it's precisely what feminists are doing when they say "feminism means doing XYZ to privilege women over men because oppression," but then, when called out on it, they suddenly switch to "feminism just means treating everyone equally".

[–]Pz5 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Additionally, the better jail that pig and not give her a slap on the wrist. SHE IS GUILTY.

[–]DyceFreak 9 points10 points11 points 9 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

Because it's anecdotal evidence used to push a political viewpoint... The term is called Fearmongering: "the action of deliberately arousing public fear or alarm about a particular issue."

[–]roharareddit[S] 13 points14 points15 points 9 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

How am I making a political point?

I am simply using this anecdote (well you call it an anecdote, I call it the death of a human being) to point out the fact that men, too, are at risk in the world of online dating. This is simply challenging the widely held belief that only women are at risk when meeting strangers.

Calling me a fearmongerer for doing this? Now that is a stretch.

[–]average_shill 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

You don't understand how this is a political point you're making? Gender politics isn't a thing that exists in our society??

[–]roharareddit[S] 13 points14 points15 points 9 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link

There is a widely held belief that women are more at risk in casual dating scenarios than men. This belief is not necessarily a political one.

Challenging that belief is not necessarily making a political point.

[–]average_shill -2 points-1 points0 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Assuming you're right for the sake of argument, your post still doesn't adequately support this. I'm just not sure one data point has any meaning with an issue of this scope. And by that I mean I am sure.

[–]roharareddit[S] 11 points12 points13 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Among the many things that regular posters to this sub do is point out individual instances in which it is demonstrated that women have the same propensity for predation, abuse and just plain evil that men do.

Stick around and read some of them, you may change your mind about a lot of things.

[–]average_shill -4 points-3 points-2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

That's cute, I disagree so I must be new here. No sir, it's called an anecdote and it doesn't stand up to academic scrutiny. Show me some metadata or get the fuck off that high horse. I've yet to see someone talk in such a condescending tone on here and actually be correct.

[–]functionalsociopathy 8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

A concern troll is a person who participates in a debate posing as an actual or potential ally who simply has some concerns they need answered before they will ally themselves with a cause. In reality they are a critic.

[–]roharareddit[S] 11 points12 points13 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

That's cute, I disagree so I must be new here.

Actually, your posting history indicates that you are kind of new here.

No sir, it's called an anecdote and it doesn't stand up to academic scrutiny.

I am not writing a thesis. I am simply sharing a story, that's all.

Show me some metadata or get the fuck off that high horse.

Like I said, I am not writing a thesis. There is no need to use foul language.

I've yet to see someone talk in such a condescending tone on here and actually be correct.

How am I being condescending?

[–]mc_schmitt 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't get it. Why is /u/average_shill so in the wrong here (if we're looking at votes as being right or wrong). An anecdote is merely an anecdote, and not enough to make any sweeping conclusions to support the latter part of OP's title "And they say online dating is dangerous for women?" (Implying that it's dangerous for men). I think if that part was left out, /u/average_shill wouldn't have a problem.

How the title should have read:

"They met on a dating site and went bowling. It was a setup, police say, and now he's dead"

But no, there was a claim that it's dangerous for men. Maybe? Sure, hypothetically I could die golfing on a sunny day. It's happened, but there's not enough data to say it's something common enough of a thing to worry about.

1994: Jeremy Brenno, 16, of Gloversville, New York, was killed on a golf course when he struck a bench with a golf club, and the shaft broke, bounced back at him, and pierced his heart.

[–]average_shill 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow what are you doing, you're supposed to just dismiss what I say and downvote!!

[+]Strayed54321 -7 points-6 points-5 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I am simply using this anecdote (well you call it an anecdote, I call it the death of a human being)

By saying this, you are fearmongering and trying to argue morality to make your opponent seem immoral. This is a story, an anecdote, that may or may not be true. It's entirely possible these days for people to make stuff like this up. I've seen it happen on this thread before. By being a fearmongerer, you have become no better than the crazy feminists and sjws that the majority of people on this sub want to fight politically. (I say fight, I really mean to have reasonable and rationale productive conversations but fight sounded better). Look, we all appreciate the notion, just try not to fearmonger or to use anecdotes as truth. I could tell you that my brother once skydived and landed into a pool which caused his wife to leave him which is why I hate women. Is that true? Well there's no real way to find out because it's a story. You'd have to ask my brother but good luck with that he is deployed. Point is, you can't trust an anecdote. Also, that story is false just so nobody misunderstands the point.

[–]roharareddit[S] 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Um..... I am pretty sure that the Washington Post wouldn't publish something like this unless it were true. But hey, if you don't want to take my word for it you can email the reporter yourself and ask him.

[–]Strayed54321 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

The reason that I know you are not only gullible, but also very naive, is that you believe that news stations and their ilk will only produce fact and truth. You can easily, as long as you're not dumber than a box of rocks which you aren't, can go onto CNN, Fox, Washington Herald, NY times, any news site and will find tons of articles saturated with political bias, lies, extreme stretches of the truth, and even anecdotes being used as fact. I challenge you to find me one news source or agency that has never had a single article produced that was devoid of falsehoods or political bias. I fucking dare you.

[–]roharareddit[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

It's been a month since I owned you on this. You realy need to get over it.

[–]Strayed54321 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Forgive me, but owned? Sorry kid, you never did.

[–]roharareddit[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Ahh, I guess you never will get over it. Too bad.

[–]McGauth925 -2 points-1 points0 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

So, you really thought that a woman has never killed a strange man in a premeditated way, and that your evidence has performed the public service of educating us that that is, in fact, not true?

Very hard to accept. I think you found a single instance and now want to use it to imply that women are just as violent as men. Which, so far as I know, is complete bullshit.

The stereotype is that men kill women more. Women use surrogates and weapons more often, and use the defense that they were sexually attacked, and so are exonerated when they shouldn't be, more often. But, most of the evidence I've seen shows that men ARE more violent and commit more crimes of all kinds - except physical abuse of children, which women commit around twice as often as men (not including sexual assault.) And, there's a large body of evidence in domestic violence cases that women are about as violent as men are and, quite often, MORE violent. It's easy to suspect that that's because women aren't shamed for attacking men.

[–]the_tolerator 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

A lot of people don't get that it's not about saying one gender had it worse than another, just that the other kind of human deserves some attention to their issues.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow, this is incredibly sad :/

[–]thrway_1000 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

https://archive.is/Ks8qI

[–]feedmecarrots 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

When it comes to violence, criminals prefer their victims to be men. That could account for three quarters of vilolent crime victims are men.

[–]atlastic1 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

"You have 0 free articles left this month." Why does anyone even go on Washington Post?

[–]James32015 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Damn that's a really messed up story

[+][deleted] -6 points-5 points-4 points 9 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

The thing I like about America is they will give women like this the death penalty.

If this was the UK or Australia they would find any way to excuse her and she'll do a couple of years.

[–]roharareddit[S] 26 points27 points28 points 9 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

She won't get the death penalty. She will likely be convicted of being an accessory to a murder and spend only a fraction of the time behind bars that the other guys will.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So we haven't gotten rid of female prisons yet?

Come on, feminists, you're slacking.

[+][deleted] -7 points-6 points-5 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Doubtful, from what I have seen in America if you set someone up to be murdered, you will be convicted of murder, and often fry.

[–]roharareddit[S] 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Not if you are female.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

hahahaha! women aren't punished in America.

[–]average_shill 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Then you clearly aren't an American nor do you understand our deeply flawed system. You're wrong.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

If death penalties was a deterrent, then the US and china would be super peaceful by now. Look at all the nations doing rehabilitation instead of incarceration, the crime levels are way lower.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

I don't particularly care about deterrence, I care about justice for men and boys.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well do you want justice or do you want crime to go down, because in this case you might not get to have both

[–]420weedscopes 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

You don't need justice if they are never wronged though.

[–]average_shill -1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

But the world has literally never operated that way. Humans simply aren't capable of it. Would it be nice if we all held hands and sang together? Of course but it's still unrealistic bordering on bat shit crazy.

[–]420weedscopes 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not saying it doesn't happen but preventative measures are surely part of the solution.

[–]bufedad 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

"It's never ok to hit a woman" sure seems to have had an affect to help make western women the safest most protect group in human history. Maybe there's something to that.

[–]average_shill 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

You're right, that has 100% eliminated domestic abuse.

Wait.

[–]bufedad 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Strawman

[–]average_shill 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Hardly. Your implication in the previous comment is that that slogan ELIMINATED it, not lessened. Sorry, I can only respond to the words you actually write.

[–]bufedad 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Safest most protected group in human history

That's what I said. It didn't say that all threats were eliminated. It didn't in any way say or indicate that it all threats were eliminated.

Gonna keep it up? Can't admit you are wrong. That's pretty sad.

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