Accused of Mansplaining for giving advice

feedmecarrots · 2016-10-02T02:26:38+00:00

A woman that would resort to saying that presumes that the judgement of women is superior to that of men. That is bigotry.

EricAllonde · 2016-10-02T03:26:36+00:00

Urban dictionary has caught up with the current use of the term. Check it out:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mansplaining

Mansplaining: Stating accurate, verifiable facts. Especially when these facts are inconvenient to the feminist worldview, or contradict feminist talking points. It is often used by a feminists who makes an incorrect claim in support of their narrative, and someone responds with something refuting the feminist’s claim, which she (usually it’s a she) cannot counter. By claiming “mansplaining,” she tries to pretend to have invalidated her opponents claim, even though she has not addressed it at all.

Feminists: Women only make 77% of what men make for exactly the same work! Oh the patriarchy.

Factual Person: No, they don't. That statistic is just for overall median pay of full time workers, and does not account for overtime hours worked, location, experience, degree earned, or even the field someone is working in. Women make less on average because men and women make different career choices, because believe it or not, men and women are different.

Feminist: Stop mansplaining to me! Facts and logic are just oppressive constructs to keep women down!

ThePigmanAgain · 2016-10-02T10:56:48+00:00

"What the hell is mansplaining..."

It's a way of shutting down anything a man says. It was a term coined, supposedly, to take down men who know little but still act condescendingly towards women who know a lot, but i doubt that was ever the true intention. Chances are, it was always meant to be used by women to tell men to shut up, even when those women don't know any more than the man in question. You can see this in the way it is is used by women who have no idea who they are arguing with. For all they know, the guy may be a world expert on the subject, but if the woman doesn't like what they are saying out comes the claim of "mansplaining." Best response is to just ignore them and beat them around the head with as many facts as you can -- don't let the little shits derail you.

2016-10-02T02:26:07+00:00

There are some women (and probably a few men, but it's generally women) who, when they complain, do NOT actually want advice on how to deal with the problem - as strange as it may sound. They just want to complain and be comforted. They want to feel like people care about what they're going through, and while some can recognize that being offered advice is a sign of caring for them, others view it as you seeing them as flawed and take it as a personal attack, a dig at their character.

"Mansplaining" is a derisive term come up with to describe men "condescendingly explaining things to a woman that she already knows." In practice, it's whenever a man says something that a feminist doesn't like. Don't take it seriously, it's a ludicrous tactic to devalue your advice and speech in general.

JebberJabber · 2016-10-03T00:38:37+00:00

You didn't do anything wrong. You just had the bad luck to meet a rude person, and a particularly rude and aggressive person jumped in afterwards.

It can be argued, at a stretch, that you were mansplaining in that the woman did not ask for advice. She could be happy to remain ignorant, or she could have looked it up, or she could have asked her Lord and Master when he got home.

She might even see her ignorance as a positive feature, part of her adorable femininity. I've a thread on a feminist sub where many women said they were positively discouraged from learning simple car maintenance by their parents for exactly that reason. They all rejected that attitude but many must accept it.

[hubby] told me to check the tire pressure. I told him "I don't know how to do that, that's your job!". He wouldn't come so I ended up having to get help from some kind stranger.

So he was on the phone trying to tell her how to check the pressure but she didn't want to know. She actually wanted him to drop everything and drive to her to check the pressure himself.
He refused, because she's an entitled airhead who needs to learn life skills. But she evaded the lesson by temporarily substituting her "malfunctioning" husband with a surrogate man.

It is weird that an obviously anti-feminist woman would adopt the typically feminist term "mansplaining". Feminists generally regard fixed gender roles and particularly the association of helplessness with femininity as toxic.

Having indicated she does not want to know about basic life skills and expects that to be done for her by men, she mabye felt your help was an attack on her chosen lifestyle. I'll guess she is too self-centred to consider that your intention is obviously good and she is not the only person who might benefit from your advice.

The second woman was an outright feminazi set off by the word "mansplaining", too high on her own outrage to realise that she was actually defending an anti-feminist. All you can do there is roll your eyes.

It is shocking to be attacked like that but try to remember her rage probably comes from being treated very badly by other men, it is nothing to do with you. Think of it as a wave - duck and let it wash over you. Just be very polite, and understand she may not be able to be polite in return.

TL;DR:
Think about whether advice is likely to be welcomed because some women are quite sensitive about unsolicited advice. I don't think you did anything wrong here. Keep giving advice, that's what social media is good for.

Spoopsnloops · 2016-10-02T06:26:58+00:00

Mansplaining is just the sexist term that some women, namely feminists and social justice warriors, apply to men who they feel are speaking to them condescendingly.

Basically, it's anything that a person interprets to be condescending. So essentially you being called out for mansplaining is basically mansplaining itself since it's someone speaking to you condescendingly.

If you know someone is a feminist or social justice warrior, it's probably good to know that you might be called sexist.

Saintmyname · 2016-10-02T09:09:54+00:00

Mansplaining is just a word chicks use when you're right and they don't like it.

alclarkey · 2016-10-02T11:20:22+00:00

Supposedly the origin was of men who explained things to women unbidden because they assumed that women needed things explained to them, because they are women. I'm not going to be a fool and claim that that never happens, but the idea is ludicrous, because men are not immune to being patronized. But that's not what it's referring to any more. Now it's just used as a catchall term to include anything a man says. It's also one more feather in their "men suck" hat.

MisterDamage · 2016-10-02T11:31:56+00:00

then proceeded to ask if I'm single and "no wonder why!". It actually hurt

Hurting you was the point. The only thing you need to understand is that she's a hateful person saying hateful things purely to hurt you. She wants to do that because you knowing something that she doesn't and you offering to share that knowledge made her feel inadequate, both because you knew something she didn't and because you cared enough about another person to offer your advice where she would have been perfectly happy to let another person continue in ignorance (and potentially hurt themselves or someone else) if she were in your place.

By being a better person than her, you hurt her feelings. The difference is, you didn't intend that to be the outcome.

cld8 · 2016-10-02T02:42:11+00:00

"Mansplaining" is a term that feminists use when they don't like the advice that men give them.

I have found that when women (and some men) complain, they are often looking for sympathy, not advice. Therefore, my policy is to not give anyone advice unless (1) it's requested, (2) it's a life-threatening situation, or (3) your role in the relationship is to give advice, such as a teacher giving advice to a student.

EricAllonde · 2016-10-02T03:23:38+00:00

Think of feminists as being like mad Harry Potter nerd fangirls, and words like "mansplaining" are like their favourite spells.

Potters nerds engaging in conversational debate might say something like, "Expelliarmus! Ha, I said it first! You're disarmed, I win!". They really feel like they've achieved something, that they've actually scored a point and one-upped their opponent. The trouble is that their jargon, the whole vocabulary of magic spells, is something that only other Potter nerds understand or even care about. Any normal person is just going to look at them the way you look at any child who's turned out to be an utter disappointment.

Feminism is very much the same. Their version of magic spells is feminist jargon like "mansplaining", "man spreading", "check your privilege", "toxic masculinity" and so forth. Feminists shout these things at anyone they want to one-up and score points against. As with the Potter nerds, those words only matter to people who buy into their beliefs & ideology. It's a show that they put on mostly for each other.

And again: it's like being approached by Scientologists who claim that you're on the verge of committing suicide without realising it, because you've been poisoned by the souls of dead aliens and the only way to save you is through lots of expensive "auditing sessions" using a fake voltmeter and lessons to teach you all about Xenu and the nuclear bombs in volcanoes, etc.

In all three cases, sensible people will usually reject the entire mindset/world view with its associated jargon and just laugh at the idiots who believe in such wacky stuff to the extent that they'll broadcast their stupidity to the rest of us.

TL;DR: "mansplaining" is a word that's been made up by people in a cult, with the primary purpose of justifying to other cult members why most people see no need at all to join the cult.

LordFlick · 2016-10-02T12:19:15+00:00

Sadly what you were doing could be interpreted as "victim blaming" bs in my opinion. As for mansplaining it has to do with explaining in a condescending boastful manner while not understanding the subject so a completely sexist term. The funny thing is I know women who mansplain

Cardplay3r · 2016-10-02T16:59:48+00:00

Please paste the transcript, I have the feeling it will be amusing.

2016-10-04T03:22:07+00:00

See, when they ask you if you're single, that's when you say "my sexuality is none of your business. Are you trying to imply something about it?"

supernonhero · 2016-12-21T19:50:18+00:00

That was just a missed opportunity to use the "C-word" You'll get her next time.

Rasalom72 · 2016-10-02T02:30:30+00:00

Don't give unsolicited advice to women... ever. Don't help them without a reason (it's your job, you're getting paid to do it, etc).

Men need to stop doing things for women. Let's let them grow up and start trying to equalize that wage gap.

Title	Accused of Mansplaining for giving advice
Author	lnx64
Upvotes	23
Comments	38
Date	October 2, 2016 2:14 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/55gelv/accused_of_mansplaining_for_giving_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/accused-of-mansplaining-for-giving-advice.940643 https://theredarchive.com/post/940643

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