First true-up of children's extra expenses and she's included things that absolutely should be covered by the child support I pay

btgarner · 2021-08-16T11:47:56+00:00

My ex tried this as well. A sternly worded letter from my attorney (outlining what child support covers) was all that was needed to stop that nonsense. But don't worry, there is plenty of other nonsense that exes pull out.

SwamiSweatSocks · 2021-08-16T07:27:17+00:00

I know here in California they use a program to calculate child support and alimony. I don't think a lot of these things really come in to play for the data the lawyers feed into it.

pegleg_legal · 2021-08-16T11:23:18+00:00

Not sure what the context of this post is. You agreed to split some expenses over and above what was covered under child support, but only if they were agreed in advance? Why would she be cutting a check back to you?

Uzzer_lozer19 · 2021-08-16T08:11:24+00:00

In the UK there is an online calculator for parents to get a estimated cost of living and looking after kids. However this does not include certain things e.g. computer games and school supplies.

Depending on where you are in the world see if there is something for your area or country although this won't be legally binding unless you go through a lawyer so good luck

jgoodstein · 2021-08-16T11:19:02+00:00

Not sure where you are from. But is this a request to produce? Here’s my take:

When it comes to money it all comes down to need and ability to pay. What is your need, her need, and both of your abilities to pay. This is why you show the highest need for money in all your documents and discoveries. Then you have less to pay. This works in both directions. Then the court looks at it, cuts out the BS, and comes up with their number.

From there child support is calculated almost always automatically. Here’s the crappy part. You can’t make her spend that money only on the kids. You have ZERO say how she spends the child support or any other court ordered funds. It’s a fight that’s impossible to prove, and you just can’t win it.

Now child expenses like school, extra curricular, medical can be split and can need joint approval. If she’s not doing that, you can file for contempt. But make sure you got your stuff in order. In my state all expenses owed have to be submitted in writing monthly between the parties. If I don’t invoice her, then the court waives it as I didn’t fulfill the agreement, and I have to eat that cost.

So in summary. She’s working the system, you need to as well. But do not cheat or break the rules. Nothing screams illegal, but yeah she doesn’t want to pay.

1095966 · 2021-08-16T13:43:14+00:00

If you're looking for confirmation on whether the items you mention should be included in regular child support, then yes, they seem to be part of the normal cost of child rearing. Now if one of you were to buy a $2,000 gaming system for the kid's entertainment, a closet full of special clothes for a dance team or sports travel team equipment & registration, etc, then those types of expenses could be considered outside the norm of regular child support expenses and you could agree to split those costs. In some cases/states, I've read that if you're the only parent who wants the child to participate in these (expensive) extra circulars, then you shoulder the cost.

I'm confused on your saying that she's trying to avoid writing a check - does she pay you child support? That's not clear here. If she does pay you child support, then she's way out of line asking for a credit or reimbursement for payments to you. Just nope, as you say.

IDK but I don't know how normal it is to submit receipts for school clothes, bedding and things like that - that's just something child support covers. It's not like grocery bills and rent/mortgage payments are also submitted as proof of feeding and sheltering a child....

Comments