Tl;dr I found TRP almost about a year ago. I've had some crap come my way, family problems. Chronic health problems etc. One of my family members is really bad.

I had to abandon university to go and help my family, this whole year has been kind of unproductive. I kept improving more and more yet I was in much trouble in my own mind that it absorbed me and ended up with a form of depression, substance abuse and the list goes on. I haven't visited a therapist yet, and don't plan to. I want to overcome this alone.

But what happens when you reach a pony you are not happy with the choices you've made until your 23? What if you look back and all you see is, endless party life, ditching University and now having a deadline to finish it by your parents, sluts you had messed with and also had a relationship with a slut who didn't really care about you? I feel like I've wasted precious time I'll never get back, just to fuck a few girls and then end up abusing light drugs and alcohol. I'm not happy with where my choices have led me at. Hence the previous post asking about PUA. I started diving into pussy neglecting the rest just because I had found out how and was excited but see where this led.

Even a close old friend I had lost contact with recently sat down and talked to me, saying that he knew another me some years ago. He said that now I'm more than not playing my role in my responsibilities but I'm going out of trail in general too. I'm feeling like I have zero or small motive, interest to do something more than actually only lifting weights, eating healthy and picking up women. It's good but I have to set priorities before I start with the secondary stuff.