50/50 Custody

survivingtheyellowbr · 2025-09-14T05:13:45+00:00

Default is 50/50 unless she can prove your “not available “ to parent

rsmiley77 · 2025-09-11T00:22:49+00:00

So I’m a bit confused here…. Why don’t you think you’ll get them 50-50?

In your post, you talk about your ex and her new guy. You never talk about why you may not get 50-50.

No_Pace2396 · 2025-09-10T19:23:06+00:00

I assume ex is resisting this and it will be a fight. Any friends of the court involved? GALs, custody evaluators, etc?

Mediation is about breaking one side using fear, threats, lies, or accusations under the secrecy of mediation. It’s bullshit and the bottom feeders know this and will use it to get what they want. A GAL may threaten you, the mediator can lie, your lawyer may tell you you won’t do better in court, OC will make threats. If this is your hill to die on, practice saying “thanks, but I think we’re done here.” A settlement artist lawyer will try and keep you in the showroom even when the deal isn’t going your way. Careful of the “I won’t ask for child support, just a little alimony” trick.

Also know that there is a lot of back and forth later. If you show you’re not playing the game, expect a call from OC after mediation saying “ok, let’s be reasonable here.” Especially if you have the money to pursue custody and she doesn’t, and if you’re in a state that isn’t momma knows best.

All the other stuff, ex’s what not and her new man. If it’s brought up in mediation it’s lawyers grabbing the low hanging billing fruit. Not relevant, I have a right to 50-50 custody, thanks but I think we’re done here. Document the alienation efforts, but some judges just can’t believe a mother would possibly do that and you must be an angry irrational mentally unstable man. For mediation, it’s irrelevant except maybe to head off her poison campaign to revisit custody later when the kids hate you. Maybe ask for a cooarenting coordinator based on what you’ve seen, and all communication thru apps and not involving kids. Right of first refusal if she’s leaving kids with new man.

Looking back, I wish I’d have known this, but also baked in a few safeguards…what happens if ex starts jacking with custody, having a plan in place for “I can’t make them go” and “they are 12, or 14, or 16 and they should get to choose.”

Christy_Esq · 2025-09-10T00:54:35+00:00

This is an important question for your lawyer. In particular, ask them what you should be doing to assist you with this goal. I am a lawyer, but not your lawyer, and I cannot give you legal advice on the internet, but here are some suggestions of things to ask your lawyer about:

Does your living space provide an adequate environment for 50/50 custody? If not, what do you need to change?
Have you had any opportunities to spend time with your children and failed to do so? Are there other opportunities (sports practices, volunteering at school, etc.) where you could take advantage of time to spend with your children?
How constructive and productive are your communications with you co-parent? How could you improve?

Good luck!

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2025-09-09T23:28:32+00:00

If you are in a 50/50 state, like Ca, the de facto custody arrangement is 50/50.

Google custody laws in your state.

streetsmartwallaby · 2025-09-09T21:11:19+00:00

This is a question best asked of your Lawyer. But a fight definitely worth having.

Title	50/50 Custody
Author	Terminal-Earth
Upvotes	4
Comments	14
Date	September 9, 2025 6:47 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ncre2d/5050_custody/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/5050-custody.1561641 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561641

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