Hey all,

in a 50/50 state. Kids are all 22+ years of age, but marriage for 31 years now. So no child support. But my STBXW has basically had a career in the medical field where she could make similar money to me, but we agreed when kids were born/young she would remain part time to offset daycare costs, etc. Years ago now, I told her to go back to work full time.. cause she would make a shit load more. Basically I make about 200K a year and she could have made about 165K a year or so + benefits, pension, etc.

So.. she is out on medical recovery right now, and for some reason unable to obtain a job still. So if I were to file today.. technically thought she made about 80K to 100K a year the past few years part time, she is out of work right now. I know about imputing.. but putting that aside for a second, would a judge/mediator really work towards her not working and using that to determine alimony as if she never worked like some of the posts here.. and figure out that she should get about 5K a month in alimony.. even though she could get a job and should be able to work full time. She claims medical issues prevent her from working full time, I call bullshit.. there are tons and tons of roles in the medical profession (nursing).. her medical condition mostly prevents her from lifting heavy weight, but she can clearly do many other jobs.

I am in a shit position too because my field is aging me out.. so my higher salary is going to be much harder to obtain and likely go lower in the coming year(s).. so while I know I could go back to court every 3 months to 6 months or whatever if I lose my job, lower pay, etc.. and get whatever I owe lowered too.. she too could move to an area where her field pays 1/3 of what she makes where we live now.. so she too could go back and claim she makes way less now and get more from me?

When does it stop? Can we lock in on a value that is more or less irreversible short of a job loss? Or is this something those of you married 20+ years just deal with for the rest of your lives (short of them dying or getting remarried)?

This is why marriage is so fucked. It really is such a bullshit crappy set of.. laws I guess that really make it easy for the lower income earner to just coast through life while the other person is fucked.