Alimony

whiskey_piker · 2023-11-08T23:37:43+00:00

I wish it were mandatory in the sub to add your state as flare required for any post.

Since you didn’t list your state or your ages, or your incomes, or any other information, the only answer left is yes you probably will need to just pay and pay and pay.

Reflog1791 · 2023-11-08T21:18:49+00:00

Get a consultation with a lawyer without telling your wife and proceed accordingly. Many are free and some will cost $150. Get real legal advice on this one.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2023-11-08T22:17:57+00:00

Not mentioning is state makes this question impossible to answer.

37 years is a very long marriage, definitely check with your state laws. After such a long marriage/time, it may no longer be an option for the less earning spouse to make more.

jimsmythee · 2023-11-08T23:17:37+00:00

It would depend. A judge would say “ends on remarriage or cohabitation. A different judge would say it’s permanent no matter what. A different judge might say you’re both retired so no alimony.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2023-11-09T02:53:36+00:00

No, significant change of circumstances will be a basis for modification. For instance she gets a job that pays well, your wages go down or you need to retire among others.

I was divorced in California after 20 years and with 3 minor children. She got a lifetime spousal support order plus CS that took about 50% of my wages. 10 years later I was free from all support obligations. I was fortunate that to her no amount of money would be enough for her. She got progressively better paying jobs during a time I had financial difficulties for several years and then children aged out.

pk2at · 2023-11-09T00:50:39+00:00

No ages and source of income given, if you are above 60 it makes sense to cash out all your savings and put it offshore. If only income is SS, there is really no alimony. Without a job or children, I don't see how they can collect alimony from you

gnew18 · 2023-11-10T13:50:48+00:00

[Clarification] State of CT - MARRIED since 1987 - modest earnings for both

Salty-Rutabaga-3329 · 2023-11-09T23:37:45+00:00

California

More than ten years means the potential for lifetime alimony.

The exits are the payer's retirement, the payer's death, or the payee shacking up / getting married. <- This is all Google-able. Or open a conversation with ChatGPT.

Just want to add a few things that are more rumors or anecdotal. I can't really back this up. But it's stuff I was told from trusted sources.

The judge has crazy discretion.

A lawyer told me early retirement may not be an exit. The judge can order alimony to a more traditional retirement age - 62 - 65 - 68. The judge can also order you to pay for life insurance with the ex as the beneficiary. CRAZY.

I've known a few guys who capped "lifetime alimony" to N years. One got 8 years. Another got 5 years. One of these guys told me lifetime alimony is a myth. "Everything is negotiable." I think it all comes down to negotiating pre-trial. If it goes to trial it's a roll of the dice depending on judge.

I know one girl (gay marriage) who was on the hook for indefinite alimony. Crazy amount too. 3500/mo. No kids. She looked surprised when I asked her if she tried to cap the years. I don't think she knew the option exists.

Lawyer A and B are often not on the same page with their understanding or tactics to cap years. I went through two lawyers. They said vastly different things.

You can buy out of alimony. Got a house? It's an option to give up a chunk of equity. There's a bit of math involved. Google Present Value.

Title	Alimony
Author	gnew18
Upvotes	5
Comments	9
Date	November 8, 2023 8:03 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/17qu7tq/alimony/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/alimony.1237820 https://theredarchive.com/post/1237820

Comments