Could I win going Pro Se seeking this type of custody?

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-06-25T14:58:05+00:00

My daughter is having anxiety about going back to her mom's. Gets upset asking if I'm going back tonight more and more frequently.

How old is your kid and what state are you in? I only ask because some states will consider the age of the child and parent preference. Mine is a hard and fast 18 (i.e. they have no choice) but some states once a child turns 13 they can choose a parent.

FUMoney · 2025-06-25T09:21:40+00:00

Looks like a poorly thought out schedule, frankly. It's confusing, the difference between the even and odd weeks. And it looks like just a couple days at your place, back over to the ex's place for two days, then back over to your place for six days, with another switch in the middle of the week? It looks ridiculous.

Can't you do something much more simple, like one week on, one week off? Will be much less disruptive to the kid, and a whole lot easier to follow than this two-day-shuffle nonsense.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-06-25T04:27:44+00:00

you will not get this kind of schedule if the judge decides, if you can agree with her, then sure anything is possible.

Splitting every weekend up is not going to go well and everyone will get burnt out at some point.
Why doesn't she want to go to her mom's? That's a critical point here. But it appears you're "forcing" her to go, which is the right thing to do absent abuse or an intolerable situation. You're a better person than most in your situation. Commendable.
You also need to account for holidays, school breaks, and vacations. If you google "joint parenting agreement" or "JPA" or "parenting agreement", you should get some comprehensive results.

Don't forget to address (typical arrangements included):

Father's Day - every year with father
Mother's Day - every year with mother
Father's Birthday - every year with father
Mother's Birthday - every year with father
Daughter's Birthday - alternating years (unless you can cooperate)
Christmas Eve and Christmas Day - often split and alternating
New Year's - usually alternating
Thanksgiving (for U.S.) - usually split and alternating, depending on family customs

Lots of other events to consider, too. But hopefully you get the idea.

Finally, don't forget to detail the logistics of pick up and drop off. Depending on the conflict, arrange in the way that protects you from problems.

notconvinced780 · 2025-06-25T03:08:37+00:00

3 thoughts: 1) Anything is possible. 2) what’s going on Thursdays? 3) careful what you wish for! I think you should arrange to have the kids for your entire weekend on your four day weeks, and not have them on the weekend at all on your three day weeks. This will facilitate you enjoying your freedom and new social/romantic life as well as having your kids for long weekends when you have them for four days. Unless you have a work (or other obligation) consider M-T-W and Th-F-Sa-Su. More fun all the way around and your kids get more of a flow for their lives. Remember to flip Winter and Spring breaks and look at birthdays and summer vacations too. BTW, also remember to be kind to your STBX. There will be moments you will need her cooperation so build some good will. GOOD LUCK!

divorceCourtisABiz · 2025-06-25T13:27:45+00:00

Why doesnt your daughter want to be at her moms. Most of my kids dont want to be there either. I encourage them to go there and to form a relationship with a pathological liar who has weaponized the legal system against me for years and umpteenth times (it is part of the reason my kids harbor ill will). We split them 50/50. I think it is healthier for the kids to have one decent honest parent 50% than seing a bad parent a fraction of the time for the sake of me keeping child support to myself. I despise their mom, but if she lost the kids an equal share and lost my child support, she would fail miserably and i doubt this would be good for my kids. So i let it be.

Title	Could I win going Pro Se seeking this type of custody?
Author	Bluey-Dad1987
Upvotes	2
Comments	14
Date	June 25, 2025 2:23 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1lju2du/could_i_win_going_pro_se_seeking_this_type_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/could-i-win-going-pro-se-seeking-this-type-of.1555515 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555515

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