~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Trying to figure how to word this to my ex without setting off a firecrackerDoes this sound okay Hi [Ex-Wife's Name], Given [Child's Name]'s recent behavioral issues at school, I wanted to propose a trial change in our routine to see if it helps. How would you feel about me handling the drop-off and you doing the pick-up for X day. Let me know your thoughts." | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/25 02:10 AM |
| 1 | Trying to figure how to word this to my ex without setting off a firecrackerI know. Only thing can think of. At least will have it in text not cooperating or putting the interest of the children at heart. Living check to check that's a lot of money where I pay $1,000 a month in bills, $1200 in rent, and $700 on medical bills. Make $3K a month. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/25 01:09 AM |
| 1 | Trying to figure how to word this to my ex without setting off a firecrackerNone. Ex dropped a surprise $300 bill on me for my children medical appointments monthly. I am already paying $200 for another child medical appointments a month. Trying to get this one time opportunity with work to get into a program that they'll pay for but need these two courses done so that's $280 a month from August to September. Plus the $100 for my work license. The $200 a month for my ex health insurance. The $300 in car taxes. Have to take time off from work to file. Emergency custody i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/25 01:03 AM |
| 1 | Not upset at my exWe split because we could never parent together. Nor agree on finances. Other stuff. Ex likes to shelter the children and enforce strict discipline & punishment. I rarely talk to my ex anymore.aybe a few text if any changes with the children. That's it. We don't ever talk during the exchanges of the children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/25 02:43 AM |
| 1 | Not upset at my exHopefully you can. I have zero emotions to my ex. I mean I'll get frustrated if deals with the children but keep my cool. I can forgive my ex. It's hard to stop randomly thinking of events she did during marriage. Mainly my only emotions are fear and anxiety. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/25 02:13 AM |
| 1 | I am afraid that I will be alone forever, and I can’t stop thinking about it.Same 39 no friends, two children, and in debt. Have a 4 to 5 year plan advance myself with career via going back to school, pay off debt, take my children to Disney, lose 80 pounds, and hopefully buy a house or townhome (happy with the home renting at the moment) then see where life goes from there. Lonely now but the journey ahead I know will not be lonely. I have my two children. I am blessed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/09/25 12:52 PM |
| 1 | Does this sound bad sending to my ex laterI know ex's are so tricky. Can easily offend them by just farting to the east. Reason is basically so my oldest can go to bed on time. Also dealing with ex wives is like the mob. You get something they want something in return. She will say my mother can watch the kids for the two hours you taken away from me this week. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/25 03:16 PM |
| 1 | Anyone have this weird empty sensation when you are not with your childrenSame. Just thinking about that. I trust my ex about 60% of the time with my children. She will feed them, sort of, and do the basics. My oldest told me, one issue that played a role in our marriage collapsing, my ex will read or be on her phone avoidant of everyone in the house. My oldest child picks up on it. I am literally .3 miles from my children I can't play with them that last hour of the night or give them extra hugs before bed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/25 11:30 PM |
| 3 | Anyone have this weird empty sensation when you are not with your childrenYes, exactly! | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/25 09:02 AM |
| 1 | Why do exchange days get harderIn my head I like a drink. I never really drank only at celebrations one or two glasses of wine maybe. Thankfully not a drinker. Idk why been going through emotions. Dreams of my ex and I raising a family. Past positive memories with my ex. Thinking of the birth of our recent child a year ago. Then thinking about how my ex treated me. I guess I wronged somewhere. The tension. Then family saying they never liked my ex and what my ex did to them while I was married to my ex. Crossed with emotions.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/25 02:39 AM |
| 2 | Have no idea how people do 5-2 scheduleWe do a 4-3. Sucks my ex has a full weekend and I don't. It works it works. I contemplated a 5-2. After this week IDK. Basically settled in and home with their mom the next day. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/25 02:35 PM |
| 2 | Have no idea how people do 5-2 scheduleJust saying it sucks. That does suck. First seperation my ex got me back to live with her again by taking time away from me with my oldest. Think dwindled down to one or two days a week. No overnights. That sucked a lot. Sorry man like I don't what I do if I couldn't see my children. That's my lifeline and motivation to keep going. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/25 02:28 PM |
| 2 | Have no idea how people do 5-2 scheduleWeek 1 Sunday Monday Tuesday Saturday nights/Monday Tuesday Wednesday days Week 2 Sunday Monday Tuesday nights/Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday days Holiday this week so family watched my children thankfully. Missed a day this week. Really feels like 2 days too short. Get settled then have to bring the children back. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/25 11:51 AM |
| 2 | If my ex doesn't respond do I take that as a "yes"That takes 90 days and $150. Bit tight with funds. Have some hotel points for a 1 night stay at the local beach. I'll have funds soon but spot of the moment events with going back to school happen. Had to make the jump drop the $700 to pay for that. I know custody is important but stopping the OT making the same making with OT right now only working 3 days that's the best life for the kids, ha. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/25 11:11 PM |
| 1 | If my ex doesn't respond do I take that as a "yes"No custody agreement. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/25 06:15 PM |
| 1 | Divorce dad's how do you emotionally deal with reset days with your childrenTrust me I know! I tried to negotiate family pick them up 5 or 6 in the evening. Ex and I leave at 0600 for work. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/25 05:42 PM |
| 2 | Divorce dad's how do you emotionally deal with reset days with your childrenWe are a Sunday through Wednesday. Then every other Sunday. Going to try for 60/40. Hopefully by January have Every other Saturday and Sunday. Main days be Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Less time with mom better for the children and less longer stretches better. The 4 night stretch is the issue with reset. Then also my kiddo on Sunday night is jacked up so doesn't go to bed till 11 at night on a school night. Only solution for that is we rotate Sunday night as well. Week 1: Dad custody on Tues… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/25 03:32 PM |
| 1 | Divorce dad's how do you emotionally deal with reset days with your childrenCustody Schedule Week 1 Dad's Custody: Dad has the children on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday. Mom's Custody: Mom has the children on Sunday, Thursday, and Friday. Exchanges: Sunday Night at 8PM: The child is exchanged to Dad. Wednesday Night at 8 PM: The child is exchanged to Mom. Friday Night at 8 PM: The child is exchanged to Dad. Week 2 Dad's Custody: Dad has the children on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Mom's Custody: Mom has the children on Thursday, Friday, an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/25 01:59 PM |
| 1 | Divorce dad's how do you emotionally deal with reset days with your childrenI have family document everything for me. The confide a lot in their cousin and Aunt on my side of the family. Female to female I guess. For me I get the emotions. As far as parental alienation all speculation do think my ex has started that. One with my youngest saying "you're dumb" "you're stupid". The hitting me is because they witnessed their mom hit me. Also alienation with my ex not allowing me to take my children to extracurricular activities or medical appointments. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/25 01:37 PM |
| 2 | Divorce dad's how do you emotionally deal with reset days with your childrenIt's awful just destroys you. Especially because my oldest has said since my ex moved out and I moved in with family rather be with me then their mom. Was a weekly occurrence and then an everyday occurrence. Then public crying and tantrums on the days going back to their mom's at night. To one episode of them vomiting being so anxious having to go back to their mom's. Even asking why we can't let mom keep the younger sibling and I have them. Begging multiple times to stay with us. Stay with me. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/25 12:57 PM |
| 1 | Can you ask for anything in mediation and how bad does this sound?Trouble picking the perfect schedule is these reasons... 1.) My ex can get my child ready for school and does a decent job with their hair. Sometimes they don't scrub it, I can tell smells like fish when they come over, or have snarls. 2.) Ex doesn't bathe the children every day. Also, doesn't do a great job with diaper care, and the youngest child always comes over in a rash and is gone by the last day I have them. My youngest gains a pound with me and loses a pound when under the care of my ex… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/25 03:43 PM |
| 1 | Can you ask for anything in mediation and how bad does this sound?Ex wants to keep current schedule Sunday night through Tuesday night Saturday night through Tuesday night Those are my nights at the moment | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/25 01:00 PM |
| 1 | Can you ask for anything in mediation and how bad does this sound?I mean would be a prioritizing move. Reasoning over the last few days. Gives the children an extra day with me that would be beneficial. Though time with me would be less, it is the only downside. More consistency during school days for the children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/25 05:15 PM |
| 1 | Can you ask for anything in mediation and how bad does this sound?Not much of a change from what we are already doing. The only difference is that I gain on Wednesday night and lose on Sunday night. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/25 04:22 PM |
| 1 | Can you ask for anything in mediation and how bad does this sound?I am not sure if a GAL would support 7/7 if they talk to my oldest. It would be similar to what happened when I was a child, ex would probably get the same custody arrangement as my dad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/25 03:08 PM |
| 1 | Can you ask for anything in mediation and how bad does this sound?My ex won't agree to that. She likes the current schedule. I don't want to do 7/7 for various reasons. Could rotate Wednesdays, Fridays, or Monday/Tuesday & Wednesday/Thursday. If I do not have a full weekend, I would like an extra day in exchange. One reason I like to have 4 consistent days during the week is to help my children with school. Cut down on time with my children, unfortunately, and lessen weekend activities. Also, every six weeks, there is a full weekend with the children due to ex… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/25 01:42 PM |
| 1 | Can you ask for anything in mediation and how bad does this sound?Thought process was fewer transitions, fewer transitions during the week, and more consistency for the older child during the week, which should hopefully make school a bit smoother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/25 09:23 AM |
| 1 | Can you ask for anything in mediation and how bad does this sound?Ex wants to keep it similar to where I have every other Sunday. Then my set days are Sunday night through Tuesday night with a Wednesday exchange at 8 PM. Willing to give up weekends for an extra night during the week when school is in session. Then have rotating weekends in the Summer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/25 06:35 AM |
| 2 | Kid's can say somethings that can just shatter you into a million piecesMy ex is more verbal abusive than anything. I am nervous to pull any trigger because my ex claims I abused her sent me text over the years claiming I abused her. Nothing physical just mental, emotional, and financial abuse. My ex did all that to me. At the moment I am broke. I work 3 OT shifts in a 6 week block. Just finished paying and terminating an attorney due to cost. Paid for my children to go to Summer camp, go on vacation, new clothes, school supplies, and so forth. Have to pay my car re… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/08/25 02:08 AM |
| 2 | Kid's can say somethings that can just shatter you into a million piecesJust thinking about this all day. My children would be better if they had the schedule my parents had growing up. Every other weekend for my dad, instead of being my kiddos' Mom, and one evening every week. In my case one extra night. 3 nights for the ex and 4 nights for me (every 4th week has Wednesday night.) Ex gives me $400 a month for child support. Be the best scenario ever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/08/25 01:50 AM |
| 5 | Kid's can say somethings that can just shatter you into a million piecesOh no, it's true haha 😂. I mean, my kiddo has been saying this every week since my ex moved out at the end of April. Thankfully, this time, I don't think I had any tear episodes, unless unbeknownst to me. No vomiting episodes outside of anxiety of going back to mom's. So a few pluses. When married, I mentioned it to my ex, but she said it was normal. My ex would cause my oldest to break down into tears and shake. Then get increasingly upset at my oldest because they can't apologize or would cowe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/08/25 01:04 AM |
| 1 | Did your young kids adjust well to a 7/7 schedule?Entertaining a 2/2/5/5. Doing a 4/3 for me and 5/2 for my ex. Really enjoy having three days during the week. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/25 08:40 PM |
| 1 | Did your young kids adjust well to a 7/7 schedule?I often consider the idea of a 7 on 7 off schedule for custody. Pros: Consistency and fewer transitions with exchanges for the children. More time with my children. No exchanges during school hours . Both parents can be involved in extracurricular activities. Cons: Daycare: My children have never been in daycare, and the associated costs would be a significant strain on both sides at the moment. Additionally, one child has ongoing medical issues, making daycare potentially unsuitable for them. F… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/25 08:39 PM |
| 1 | How do you stay mentally strong?I am I took out $500 from my vacation time to be added to my next paycheck. Talked to family asked them to watch my child two Wednesdays from today filing the Summons that day. CPS want to avoid unless my child says something at school. Have two family members still talk to and one helps me at the moment. Family member knew someone where the Dad filed CPS claims then the mom made claims. Then they had to call in a family member to move right away had 48 hrs or kids went to foster care. The paren… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/25 07:50 PM |
| 1 | Seeking some advice and getting things off the chestWhat's destroying my soul. Plan at midnight to disappear and reset. My children are with my ex for 8 days. Just inside not doing anything. Happiness just eroded for them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/25 12:14 AM |
| 2 | Seeking some advice and getting things off the chestI know. Work is burning me out. I put in a lot of overtime this summer to give my children the best summer possible, with camp and vacations. Now, I have a few things to take care of, such as paying my license fees for work and finishing preparations for my oldest child's school. I also need to manage car expenses. In September, I hope to pay the fees for the court to get things moving. I feel like I've wasted almost $4,000 on the lawyer since not much happened. It's a learning experience. I pla… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/25 11:17 PM |
| 4 | Any dad's get majority of parenting time?Live in the South plan to go to trial. Negotiated five times with my ex. Going to file a Summons. Really don't think mediation will go anywhere and eventually end up in Court. Good luck! | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/25 01:54 AM |
| 1 | Think this is a bit of overreaching???Fixed it. Know sucks ex reads messages here. Told me the first separation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/25 05:29 PM |
| 1 | Think this is a bit of overreaching???Communication? What's that? LoL that shipped sailed with the ex. Bed wetting was happening when married with the oldest and the yelling at the child for it. Ex uses the tablet like crazy when married. LoL ex never goes out of the house and puts on a horror show with the kids, give them the tablet. I give the tablet so my child can avoid getting in trouble, not feel bored, and avoid being yelled at. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/25 12:06 PM |
| 1 | Second/Third time asking ex about work schedule and futureWe have no custody agreement. Basically, I sent her an agreement, and she rejected it. Next step is I have to file a Child Custody Complaint and a few other things with the Court. I will probably do that in August. Have time off the first week and my ex is on vacation. It will take about 30 to 90 days. Then think it ends up with public mediation at that point, so about October, be in mediation. Just recording keeping things in text. Showing not cooperating or being in agreement if it does eventu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 08:24 PM |
| 3 | Today is the dayPretty much. Had a neighbor who is a retired paralegal. They told me to go to someone who give me a discount and their friends used them. My jaw dropped when I heard the hourly cost. Mine was $250-$280 an hour or $80ish if had to ask a questions on the low end. I limited questions. The attorney wanted to speak to me 4 or 5 times over the last few months to gather information for the case. It sucks probably should of just done Chat GPT. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/25 03:37 PM |
| 1 | Today is the dayWe don't know if my ex has an attorney Ex hasn't said anything about what happens next after being seperated outside of we moved to different domiciles. Have to prove we both lived in two different places for a year before being divorced in our state. My next steps are can have the attorney file for custody custody complaint or myself. The other option is see if my ex is open to private mediation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/25 03:27 PM |
| 1 | Reoccurring issue with oldest child day of bringing back to my ex homeThis may be peer speculation and my mind going down a rabbit hole. There were pictures from my child's camp. Days with me smiling and happy. The day my ex took my daughter, not smiling, and not in the shoes I gave my ex. I'm not sure. The shoes she sends my daughter in are two sizes too small, or she sends them over in Winter Boots. I do believe I gave my ex some jelly shoes as well during an exchange with a shoe size that fit my daughter, who did wear those to camp. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/25 05:19 PM |
| 1 | Reoccurring issue with oldest child day of bringing back to my ex homeMay consider that. Everyone says wait till school and school will pick up on changes with your daughter. Plan to get through the Summer see where funds are maybe reach out to a therapist in the Fall. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/25 02:42 PM |
| 2 | Reoccurring issue with oldest child day of bringing back to my ex homeYes. Unknown what is going on in the apartment now that I am out. Zero evidence. Just worry for my child. I love them. I feel a fight I can't win. Destroys me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/25 02:07 AM |
| 3 | Reoccurring issue with oldest child day of bringing back to my ex homeMy relationship with my ex largely depends on the circumstances—specifically whether the situation is upwind or downwind of a fart, if you catch my drift. A lot of our issues stem from the relationship my ex has had with our daughter since they were younger. My ex, when I was married to her, often raised her voice, swore at our child, grabbed her by the wrist, and made negative comments about her. As a result, my daughter is afraid of her mom. I've observed many interactions where my daughter ei… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/25 12:54 AM |
| 1 | Which sounds better for the children?Right. Ex and I are both nurses. I am haven't told my ex but if it goes to a Judge they won't give a shi* about our work schedules. May have to come to that point. Basically my ex doesn't like OT I do. So she works 6 out of 14 days in a pay period I do 7 in a 14 days period. We both try to do 3 or 4 in a row. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/25 07:14 PM |
| 1 | Which sounds better for the children?Not for my child. Have a odd situation. Run down oldest doesn't want to be with my ex. Oldest wants to stay with me. Have to work 6 out of 14 days (1 extra day) Have family that can watch my children Thursday and Friday Work is 0600-2030/2100 (same for ex and I) Ex initiated divorce but won't hash out custody agreement | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/25 05:57 PM |
| 1 | Which sounds better for the children?Appreciate that. One of my children is school age. Was contemplating having them Monday through Friday. Only two days I wouldn't be able to watch the children. Playing Chess at the moment. Sent my ex an agreement. If I send my work schedule she will go against the agreement. Send her anything different then the agreement she will agree to it. On the flip side she could come back say these are the days I am working before the July 7th deadline then I look like I am not compromising. Trying to fig… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/25 01:48 PM |
| 1 | Which sounds better for the children?We don't have a traditional work schedule, and we are nurses. Funny mention drop off. I was reviewing the schedule and realized that I have to drop my children off the night before. Now have to revamp it. Hope my ex doesn't sign the agreement. We leave work at 0600 and return by 2030 (on a good day). | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/25 01:11 PM |
| 1 | Which sounds better for the children?There's other ways to alternate not by week? | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/25 12:37 PM |
| 2 | Which sounds better for the children?That's my mindset this is the schedule for life. Any change my Ex would contest I feel like. My attorney even told me before going pro se this is the schedule have to go to Court for changes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/25 12:03 PM |
| 2 | Which sounds better for the children?I am torn. I have time to change the schedule at work. Put in a work schedule of Th/Fr/Sa and W/Th/Fr. Then, the days off I have, I have my children on those days is the plan. Every Wednesday is my daughter's ballet class. Friday's are school events so IDK. If an event comes up can easily work a Sunday take off that Friday. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/25 11:54 AM |
| 1 | What is next?I plan not to use my attorney anymore. I am maxed out with cost. They drew up papers to create a custody agreement/contract to get us through till next year. My ex has till next week to sign. I have a feeling she won't. I was going to ask her what type of custody arrangement she like and see if we could negotiate something in mediation. If it seems something we can't then mediation wouldn't be worth the cost to do so. There is two things I wouldn't budge on. Giving up child tax credit (Uncover t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/25 11:45 AM |
| 2 | No word from the exI won I have the children | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/06/25 12:30 AM |
| 1 | Do you communicate your work schedule with your ex?That's what I was wondering. We live in the same complex. I was going to message her to come by after work to pick the children up. Then if it says no, then message her I am here to pick the children up. Then, if I said no, I was contemplating going to the door knocking, but then I was thinking that's a bad idea. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/25 01:04 AM |
| 1 | Do you communicate your work schedule with your ex?I was driving home thinking that if my ex doesn't agree to me picking them up tomorrow, and I show up, I wonder if I'll face some legal issues. Wonder if saying I'll be there to pick the children up constitutes a threat. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/25 12:52 AM |
| 1 | Could I win going Pro Se seeking this type of custody?5 years old going on 6 years old. I mean, a few times my oldest said she did not want to go home with mom, was okay, that's okay. Would tell my oldest you'll see me in X amount of days. After multiple comments by my oldest, I now feel I have to be more proactive. I am trying to figure out a schedule that would incorporate rotating weekends, a max of four consecutive days for my Ex, and give me either a Wednesday or Friday with my children every week or every other week. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/25 03:04 PM |
| 1 | Could I win going Pro Se seeking this type of custody?Those are the days I have my children. Be four days a week outside of the Summer. With alternating weekends. It's a 6-2 schedule for me and my Ex a 4-2 schedule. At the moment we are doing a 3-4 schedule. With a proposed 5-2 schedule for me and a 4-3 schedule for my Ex. I apologize if I sound rude, electronic writing can sound offensive at times. As I mentioned in the original message my oldest child doesn't want to go back with their mom. This has been going on for a few weeks and mentioned a f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/25 01:34 PM |
| 1 | Could I win going Pro Se seeking this type of custody?That's a great idea. Have till July 7th. I feel my Ex will reject it. Everyone around me is saying she will because I put in the agreement I claim the child tax credit every year. On the flip side I am paying the children's health insurance premiums every year. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/25 10:57 AM |
| 1 | Could I win going Pro Se seeking this type of custody?I had an attorney draw up an agreement and send the paperwork over to my Ex. My attorney created a schedule where I have the children five nights in a row, my Ex has them for four nights in a row, then I have them for two nights in a row, then my Ex has them for three nights. Then we repeat the schedule. With what my daughter is saying and I don't think my Ex will sign the papers. Thinking with mediation. Plan to ask my ex if they want to split the cost of private mediation and go that route. Wi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/25 08:00 AM |
| 1 | Not sure if I take this with a grain of salt or what5 going on 6 | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/25 11:35 PM |
| 1 | My attorney is dissuading me from going with a private mediator$27 inpatient acute care ex makes $34 an hour inpatient acute care | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 01:57 AM |
| 1 | My attorney is dissuading me from going with a private mediatorI mean I can't see what else my ex would want. 60/30 custody. There's not much else to disagree on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 12:52 AM |
| 1 | My attorney is dissuading me from going with a private mediatorCan't get credit cards tried. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 12:51 AM |
| 2 | My attorney is dissuading me from going with a private mediatorI am in the South. Ex and I work for the same hospital. With 2 OT shifts and her off my insurance we make even at $4400 a month each of us. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 11:48 PM |
| 1 | My attorney is dissuading me from going with a private mediatorI figure we could probably afford private mediation they can file for us. Not sure if they be able to. Mediators in the area are attorney's. That's what someone said the clerks are very helpful at family court. With the agreement I sent maybe 3 minor details that have to be changed. Asked my attorney about what if my ex wants modifications they said it's this or that not that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 11:36 PM |
| 1 | My attorney is dissuading me from going with a private mediatorI feel a mediator be easier. We have zero assets outside of two car loans. Just two children. I have a custody agreement written up. Can go off of that. I think my ex won't agree. I didn't catch it before my attorney sent it out. They updated the agreement with drop off at noon on Sunday wanted 6 to 7 in the evening for drop offs. My ex probably won't agree to me claiming the children every year. Negotiate 50% to 25% of the tax refund when my ex claims. These are easy modifications. There's not … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 11:05 PM |
| 2 | My attorney is dissuading me from going with a private mediatorNo literally I am broke. I am a Nurse make only $3K a month unless OT. Have with rent, children, attorney fees, food, and debt in the red zero to the name. Can't afford anything else nor am I eligible for any loans or credit cards. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 11:03 PM |
| 1 | Attorney fees and paying for themIf need be I can use my car currently financing as collateral for a loan. I owe $360 right now to the attorney and probably owe about $1,000-$1,500 after everything is said and done. They charged me $360 in one week. I set a $65 a month for a payment of $1,000, so it should get me through at least four weeks with the attorney to get myself back on track, hopefully by then. Basically, I just need this custody agreement drawn up and notarized if my ex agrees. If it doesn't go to mediation, then I … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/25 01:14 PM |
| 1 | Attorney fees and paying for themThat's good news. Contract says pay on 5 days if not we suspend the case or withdraw. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/25 11:44 AM |
| 1 | Ex may withhold my children...Kids in hand ex aware but no response from them | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/25 12:36 AM |
| 2 | Ex may withhold my children...The goal tonight is tactfully have the kids in my custody without being an aggressor spin the story on my ex if she pushes on me down the road. This was the verbal agreement you changed it I never agreed to what you wanted. Worse case make my ex the aggressor to have her arrested if need be. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/25 11:49 PM |
| 2 | Ex may withhold my children...Yep. Verbal agreement: we each have the children one week, 3 nights,, and the following wee,k, 4 nights. Been doing this for six weeks since we moved out. This is my 4-night week. My ex texted me this convoluted text one hour before pick up of me bringing the children home tomorrow night and having them two other nights next week, cutting me short a night. I was smart didn't agree to it. My goal is to get the children in the car. I feel my ex will start talking about it at exchange not give me t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/25 11:44 PM |
| 3 | Ex may withhold my children...No court order at the moment. Attorney hasn't done anything. I mean they send me a bill for hours working on my case but nothing done yet. I could tap into my ex rage, it's been dormant for a few months, let them hit me get arrested. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/25 11:40 PM |
| 4 | Social Media to Men: Abusive Wives are HILARIOUS!!!My ex withheld sex as a punishment to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/25 05:44 PM |
| 1 | Am I in the wrong or should I even do thisI am thinking of changing the schedule when school comes around for my oldest. The Saturday night exchanges I feel can cause some issues down the road. Have yet to figure a schedule that would work LoL. Really her mom is the point scoring dickhead. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/25 03:08 PM |
| 1 | My ex won't let me see my children on a day I am off this week to spite me...ATM waiting for the attorney to draw custody papers up. I am hoping I can amend it with my ex. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/25 08:04 AM |
| 1 | I can't sleep and not be madFeel worse because I don't know how my oldest will feel. They been dreading going back to my ex on day of exchanges. I told them I was going to have them tomorrow night now I won't till Wednesday. I feel horrible inside thinking about them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/25 03:36 AM |
| 2 | Has anyone ever had this thoughtThe word I'm looking for is "nurture." I genuinely believe I would be happier if my ex had the kids three days a week. Unfortunately, I need to finish my education before that can happen. For example, my oldest child has mentioned that at their mom's house, they primarily eat pasta, pizza, or noodles. They frequently go out for fast food and rarely have vegetables. My daughter has noticed having a lack of clothing. My ex says they bathe the children, but I question it as over the course of the y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/25 10:29 AM |
| 2 | Has anyone ever had this thoughtI mean I know she loves them. Not a bad person. I can't see the bad in people one of my weaknesses in life. I was to blame for part of our marriage ending. Just was never going to work. I am grateful that my ex and I were able to create two amazing children. I will forever be thankful to her for that gift. Our differences there is so many. I knew for awhile we were very different. I know we have different parenting styles. I know this sounds horrible to say. I will admit it's not 100%. I make su… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/25 03:52 AM |
| – | 5 Days in A Row Schedule Every Other Week. Think able to have my cake for Dinner.7 days can't do reasons for children health and mental well-being. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 10:58 PM |
| 2 | Anyone willing to share their 3-4-4-3 schedule...Idk if I can or be good the little ones. My oldest didn't want to go home. I can see how she makes changes, already 6, calculating her responses. It's just not a good environment not a bad environment to have a court pull them out of the house with their mom, if that makes sense.. 5-2-2-5 would be a lot easier. Idk. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/25 10:30 PM |
| 2 | The wound of missing my childrenGoing to post something similar. My work schedule and my ex work schedule when married we only see our children maybe an hour or two before they went to bed. With my oldest starting school in the Fall only see them on days off at work. The only difference with the custody arrangement is have 2 to 3 less nights with my children a month. Frustrates me when people offer insight that you should consider daycare. Those days I have the children making every effort to be off and enjoy the moment with t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/25 02:26 AM |
| 1 | Can you make decisions with your children's lives without ex input?It has. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/25 12:25 AM |
| 1 | How much information do you disclose to your ex on your day/nightsNot sure if "co-parenting" is in the future. Trying confabulation at the moment till agreement is signed. Certain things just won't tell my ex and just do as she'll say no like go and get a haircut for my daughter. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/25 10:05 AM |
| 6 | How much information do you disclose to your ex on your day/nightsDidn't disclose it I guess can tomorrow. Just so nervous I rarely give my ex too much information because I am nervous she will use it against me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/25 04:02 AM |
| 5 | Something positive - First pickupIt doesn't. Did wake up early and head out to have a cathartic experience as my ex gave me the greenlight to throw everything away in our apartment. Doing that, then get the kids breakfast, and enjoy a sunny day with them today. That's the best life right there. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/25 11:08 AM |
| 2 | Walk the prisoners outSorry, it goes through a grammar app when posted and never gets reread, ha. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/25 08:29 PM |
| 2 | Ex lied againMost of my personal items were fine, but some gifts from family for my oldest child went missing, and I wanted to keep those for them. My oldest was sad last night when they walked into their empty bedroom and wanted to grab toys from the toy box. I took the toy box out of the car and left it for them. They also enjoy using my tablet, so I left that as well. I had a feeling they would be moving today, so I spent yesterday getting everything out. Now, I'm coming home from work tonight and I'm wai… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/25 10:26 PM |
| 1 | Dad, Divorce, and School Age ChildrenThe main issue is that the more tired my ex-wife becomes, the more verbal abuse surfaces. She also neglects to bathe our children and watches adult shows in front of them. While she has family to watch the children, they have a history of smoking in the house and are using controlled substances. I know that the back-and-forth situation isn't ideal for our children, but I believe the latter option is worse. I've been trying to figure out the best schedule to minimize stress for the children. Init… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/25 02:55 PM |
| 2 | Dad, Divorce, and School Age ChildrenIt's no bueno to do a week on week off. I know everyone tells me to. It protects them from abuse and neglect. I have zero evidence and so here we are what we got, ha. Then both have never been in daycare or after care. Youngest has medical issues trying to avoid daycare at the moment. So we gotta make lemons into lemonade. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/25 02:21 PM |
| 2 | Contract over Court OrderYear & a day of not living in the same domicile. Tuesday, 4/28/26, date of filing for divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/25 03:38 PM |
| 1 | Contract over Court OrderPlan to make an addendum to the custody agreement in March,, hopefully. Things change. I mean may want to do 7 and 7 when our oldest is 4 years old. I start school for a year in May. A lot of changes are coming up over the next few years. So I don't want to be too strict or rigid with the schedule. Part of the schedule wants to be rigid due to the MIL. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/25 02:57 PM |
| 1 | MIL Interventions and burning the marriage shipMy partner separated from me two years ago, and at that time, I discovered that my mother-in-law didn't want me to marry her daughter. We have been married for almost ten years now. My mother-in-law freaked out after I accidentally touched her cheeseburger and didn’t talk to me for nearly two weeks. My ex is moving to a new place that she didn’t want to go to because it’s too expensive. She actually likes where she is currently living. Somehow, she managed to get new furniture and moved there a … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/25 01:29 PM |
| 2 | Any dad's on here hit this realizationThat's not a huge issue. Even with OT my X would make more than me by about $300-$400 a month. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/25 09:40 PM |
| 0 | Any dad's on here hit this realizationI was considering a 50/50 schedule until the summer. Then, by the time my youngest is in preschool, I will transition to a 60/40 schedule with me gaining Wednesday. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/25 08:57 PM |
| 1 | Advice: My 6 yo recent statementI mean X and I are use to being gone 3 whole days a week. It's the nights. With big kid school starting I won't even see my kiddo on those days. It makes the transition a bit easier. I just feel bad. They do love their mom, especially the oldest. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/25 01:40 AM |
| 1 | Advice: My 6 yo recent statementI don't think that it has really clicked yet. Confused why everyone is moving and why mom & dad won't live together. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/25 11:22 PM |
| 1 | Custody schedule and Summer1 week is impossible. 5 is a stretch in itself. Reasons cannot be explained take a day to do so the story behind the reason why. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/25 07:17 PM |
| 1 | Can't believe in 7 days we go our separate waysFixed it | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/25 02:04 PM |
| 1 | Custody schedule X wants to talk about it tomorrowOnly crutch is nights really messed with my emotions. Now this could be had little support only slept 2 hrs. I sleep from 11 to 4 (getting 5 a day) big improvement in mood. My oldest can see the change. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/25 02:00 AM |
| 1 | Custody schedule X wants to talk about it tomorrow5 month old with heart condition | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/25 11:51 PM |
| 1 | Custody schedule X wants to talk about it tomorrowIt would be easier. Everyone says mood wise I am better on days. Because nights I have them the 4 nights not on then drop the oldest at school sleep. Have family watch the young one then wake up for pick up. If I do days gets a bit tricky. Think it'll have to be days though. Can't do 7. Just a diaster for the children having them with my X for 7 days. I am going for 60/40. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/25 10:08 PM |
| 1 | Custody schedule X wants to talk about it tomorrow7 days on isn't good with my X lot reprogramming tantrums so forth. Basically child running out to the backyard rocking back and forth. Crying. Hitting. Throwing things. Slapping themselves. Anything setting them off. Then great days later. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/25 08:51 PM |
| 2 | Waiting to hear back from my attorney on what to do???It's on there. I asked the attorney if I should refinance my car loan or sell it then put my name on that loan with a family member. That way they can't take my car as collateral to pay back the loan of my X. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/25 01:53 AM |
| 1 | Seeking advice. STBX wants to talk custody schedule next week...Can't be done for reasons will fight to the end of time for. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/25 01:23 AM |
| 1 | Rent and financial situations at the moment...Really don't have anything care about. All the stuff I do is out. Rest my X can have. Though think she thought I was going to dump the items not taking. I am just hoping for a... 4 day week, 4 day, 3 day, and 4 day week schedule. Day time rights to my youngest. Have time with kiddos when X has to work and has custody. No child support. Car blanche to raise the children how I want. Parallel parenting. Religious rights. Education rights. Be all set. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/04/25 09:45 PM |
| 1 | Rent and financial situations at the moment...Don't really have access to the bill guess can call. It's $600 her bill. IDK why I did co-sign for that loan. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/04/25 09:02 PM |
| – | How screwed am I?I may have screwed that too. I thought about that. I mean has been 2 year's since. I dumped all this on my attorney my issues and concerns worried they'll report to CPS. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 05:10 AM |
| 2 | How screwed am I?Sorry had to be hush with what's going on Basically... My oldest child told their mom that thier maternal grandmother can't watch them and that dad takes better care of them. This ticks my STBX off to think I am bad mouthing and alienating her when the kids are in my care This leads to a chill calm X now back to being angry swearing slamming doors potentially won't work against me come negotiations now Haven't said anything. I did mention to the attorney about my X mom watching the kiddos and co… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 03:55 AM |
| – | STBX won't disclose where moving toNot sure what they won't tell me where they are moving to. I have the address, .2 miles from where I'll be living. They won't tell me when either. Cryptic on when. Lease ends in 4 weeks. Mention custody they oddly seemed okay with it. Feel custody to them is I only have day visits. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/03/25 03:58 AM |
| 1 | STBX won't disclose where moving toWill be an expensive call tomorrow, ha. I am going to reach out to them tomorrow. Discuss if emergency custody is important or not. Working on not having my name on the lease. Suppose to give a 60 day notice. I also didn't put a forwarding address for them or I may have put an address I would be staying at for a week or two before moving out of that location. So any damages to the apartment would be billed to my X forwarding address. I may move out earlier than expected leave the apartment to my… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/03/25 03:37 AM |
| 1 | Anything give papers to their X and lived with them a little while afterwards?I mean I am moving out in May. Someone was saying not to help pay May rent because I am moving. Then have to start fresh get all new stuff for the children when I move. I mean I don't want to look bad in the eyes of the court. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/03/25 12:48 PM |
| 2 | Seeking some advice on what to sayThat's what I been doing. We stopped communicating the last two weeks. Barely minimum talk about the kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/25 04:47 PM |
| 1 | So looking forward to all the fights this week (sarcasm)Assets are few and between. 2 cars that's it. Figure the living expenses the X can take over since lease is over when the lease is over. Then move at that time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/25 04:53 PM |
| 2 | So looking forward to all the fights this week (sarcasm)One party state. Recorded few think lost one the big one backed up on the computer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/25 04:43 PM |
| 1 | So looking forward to all the fights this week (sarcasm)It's been 23 days since the rage cage event of being slapped hit punched yelled at items thrown threats of kidnapping and stuff thrown outside. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/25 04:21 PM |
| 2 | So looking forward to all the fights this week (sarcasm)No separation agreement at the moment. In the process. Been 2 weeks (12 too 13 days be exact) since my X said she wanted the Divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/25 04:14 PM |
| 1 | What's your custody schedule arrangement like?Would it be weird, even possible, to do 2-2-3 with the young one and 5-2 with the older one. I am gone 3 to 4 days a week already. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/25 11:29 PM |
| 1 | What's your custody schedule arrangement like?How do your kids deal with being with the other parent? | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/25 08:38 PM |
| 1 | What's your custody schedule arrangement like?Have a almost 6 and under 12 month old. I really wouldn't want my children with my X more than 4 in a row. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/25 07:44 PM |
| 2 | STBX was just arrested for DVFeel you brother. I didn't do it. Wimped out because X could lose her livelihood. Still tethered with one loan and a lease for two months. Feel you on the eggshells lasted for a few weeks. X has these rage moments only happen 3 times. I mean outside of those rage moments slapped and verbally abused a lot. The last rage moment scared the poop out of me. My oldest still having a hard time processing it. Stay strong brother and prayers. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/25 06:45 PM |
| 1 | My biggest fear coming from pending divorce is our childrenSomeone told me a few weeks ago. It's hard to breakout of the abuse. That abuse you are validating this behavior is acceptable. Your child will have a safe place when you leave. The first time my Wife stone walled over night visits and lessen day visits & hours. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/25 12:22 AM |
| – | Wife wants a divorce...Can't afford an attorney and can't afford pro-bono. Going to try the DV route if not venture on my own unfortunately. Pray that it's a pretty amicable divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/25 08:01 PM |
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