Documents and a liar

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-02-26T21:09:58+00:00

Secure the passports so the children can't travel outside the US before you file for divorce. The last thing you want is to deal with her returning the children.

You need to setup a separate checking account and move your direct deposit there. And if you have a large sum in your joint checking account, then move it over to the one you control. Once she takes that money out, it's gonzo.

If you have joint credit cards, open one in your name only then close the joint account. That way she can't spend you into oblivion during the divore.

And while you didn't mention divorce, she's doing all the things one does before filing for divorce.

> as a form of domestic abuse

That's not what you need to worry about. You need to protect yourself from having false DV accusations levied against you. Here's why: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=80375

tropicislandexplorer · 2021-02-26T20:49:56+00:00

You should hide that stuff. When I was married I kept a few thousand dollars stashed in my apartment. My wife took off with my two kids for a week, the money was still there, but I moved it. She showed up a week later with a police officer, he had me wait outside, she went into the apartment, came back out a minute later "where's the money?!!!" I said "what money?" lol.

But yeah, hide that stuff. She's clearly up to no good. You should start divorce proceedings asap. My mom went out and bought a $40,000 full sized van when she saw the divorce coming up.

Start thinking offensively/defensively, she already is.

Knave7575 · 2021-02-26T21:19:35+00:00

Idea: Take one of the kid's passports. She can have the others. Then nobody can travel anywhere, and she cannot really complain, because she hid them in the first place :)

skaelee · 2021-02-27T06:22:15+00:00

Add fuel to the fire ? Bruh she’s tryna fuck you over isn’t it obvious that you take that shit from her don’t let her take them damn kids from you

2021-02-27T06:48:00+00:00

Safety deposit box..., discretely....

lemmingsrevenge · 2021-02-26T21:26:41+00:00

Take only the children's documents. Bank account numbers and balances is useful if you have to subpoena the information later.

Taking the children's stuff can't really be used for DV purposes since they're your kids too.

rrockman · 2021-02-27T14:09:42+00:00

Just finalized a divorce last month. From my expertise say secure the documents. Adding fuel to the fire is inevitable....

throwawayy8n317 · 2021-02-27T20:04:36+00:00

Get a parenting order - I recently did this in NZ so I imagine it's similar in the UK. When I filed, I had to give my son's passport to the court (you'll need to give them a bloody good reason as to why, but fearing she will run off with the kids in to an unknown situation and another country is probably a good start - that's pretty much the reason I got mine).

Doing this also put a stop on travel (if they showed up at the border, even with an emergency document, an Interpol notice of some kind would show up).

Cost me a couple hundred bucks but well worth it considering 1. What she's tried to pull before and 2. What she tried to pull again about a month later - I called the cops who showed up just as she had me pinned against the wall and was punching me.

Disgustingly, despite the police literally witnessing this act AND my having the incident on video this time, they were going to take *me* away from the house (which her name is not on, only mine) and off to a hotel... right up until I produced the parenting order. They gave me a 12 hour protective order against her. That's it.

Even more disgustingly, son has a court appointed lawyer, who is still trying to paint me as the bad guy (any surprise she's a woman?) - during the first court hearing I had to tear down (with evidence) 15 paragraphs of a complete bullshit report because the lawyer had either given incomplete, misleading, or outright false information. I also mentioned to the judge that I am aware that men usually get railroaded in these cases and that the report was a clear and deliberate attempt to do so based on an extraordinary gender bias displayed in the document.

Judge seems to have agreed because as of yesterday, out of the blue, got a notice that suggests son now has a male lawyer (I could be wrong, but I've not heard from the female lawyer in about a month).

The decks are stacked dude: document, document, document and file what you can yourself or get the help of a legal professional.

throwingit_all_away · 2021-02-26T20:59:33+00:00

I would not mess with this stuff. The passports and social security numbers and such can be taken care of in the final decree. You can require her to sign and provide those when needed (including signing to allow passports for your children to travel with you). You're right that you could be painted as controlling if you went and found that stuff and took it back. She is going to say she was scared and planning a way out and you were stopping her. What can she do with those documents? File taxes? Leave the country?

I would certainly be concerned with protecting the money in the bank. But, courts don't like when someone takes the money and runs. Decide how much you're willing to let go. She could take all of it and make you fight to get some of it back. Or you could offer to split it in half, right now, yet she will come for more later. Don't do controlling things!

Title	Documents and a liar
Author	downandalone20
Upvotes	14
Comments	19
Date	February 26, 2021 8:37 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/lt781h/documents_and_a_liar/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/documents-and-a-liar.817375 https://theredarchive.com/post/817375

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