Hi all, so I'm in a very emotionally toxic marriage (of 10 years) and I'm finally at the point where I'm just not sure what to do.

She seems to hate everything about our life, even though we have a very good setup. We own a home, live in a nice community, have three beautiful children, and she doesn't work. In fact, she has never had a full-time job in her life.

She is clearly depressed, but refuses to seek any treatment for it. She is angry and screams at me and the children on a daily basis over literally everything. My 6-year-old son has a lot of emotional control issues and I am certain it is because he sees his mother screaming at everyone over seemingly nothing (leaving a drawer open, forgetting to put a toy away, spilling a glass of juice, etc) and our 4-year-old daughter is starting to show signs of the same things. There is more to it than that, but you get the gist.

I am honestly just at a loss as to what to do. She would almost certainly move back in with her parents if we were divorced who live in a different state and I know that mothers almost always get custody in situations like ours (at least from what I've read). I know that this isn't a great environment for the kids as I kind of just take the abuse in order to protect the kids. But if she were to leave the state with them (my job is tied to my location), I can't imagine how they will turn out without me there to comfort them and shield them and the idea of not seeing them every single day feels like a fate worse than death.

Any advice?