I'm negotiating with STBXW, including through formal mediation. It's not amicable; she cheated and lied and has made outrageous demands. Except for the fact that we have kids, I never want to deal with her again.

We have two boys, 9 and 7. They are in private school, and probably will be through high school given the public school system where we live as well as their educational needs.

She is willing to give me the exclusive right to direct the kids' education and choice of school. In exchange, I will pay all private school tuition and expenses. My lawyer thinks this is a good deal, because education is one of the three big rights (domicile and medical being the others), and she'd be giving me exclusive decisionmaking power. I'm not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, it means I won't have to consult with her about their education--one less thing (and a big thing) to ever have to interact or argue with her about. On the other hand, this is committing to some $60,000 a year for the next ten years. And she's getting a very sizable ($2 million-plus) estate, so I feel like she should be contributing 50/50 on private school expenses. I make a very good income and can afford $60,000 a year--heck, I pay it now, as I'm the only earner (she's a SAHM)--but if she's getting such a huge estate, she should be on the hook for big expenses like this. But if the exclusive educational right is that valuable, I'm okay with paying $60,000 a year.

So, for those with experience in this: is it worth $60,000 a year for ten years to have the exclusive right to direct my kids' education? Or is the exclusive right overrated, and we'd probably be able to agree on education, so not worth $60,000 a year?

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