Backstory: I've been in the military 19 years. Was married for 10 of those years and had two kids (age 8 and 11) . Due to deployments and heavy workload I was not around that often. I got divorced two years ago and the ex got primary physical custody. I am recently in a position where I no longer have to deploy and am home more often than ex is.

I am filing for 50/50 custody, but it has came out that my kids really don't want to spend that much time away from their mother, as they are use to there mother being their primary care taker. But I know if I continue pursuing 50/50, I am more than likely to get it. But I am doubting if it is the right thing to do. I feel like an asshole if I were to take the kids away from their mother for a week at a time every other week. And I think switching houses any more often would just be to crazy for them.

Being the every other weekend dad sucks... I don't actually get to build a meaningful relationship with my kids it seem. I go 11 days without seeing them, to spend 2.5 days with them. I try to make the weekend enjoyable for them, but I don't ever just get to relax and chill with the kids. I feel more like a cool uncle or some shit and not a dad.

I don't have a relationship with my dad, and it sucks not having a father figure to talk to about this shit. And I don't want my kids to be in the same position I'm in.

I don't know if I should get 50/50 or just keep custody as is. This is such a difficult choice to make.