So it is final now; I have the decree after 1 year of "the process" which involved no actual court trials, 1 mediation session, and the hiring of a GAL.

I am the primary custodian of our child and she gets every other weekend and a dinner on the off week. Breaks from school are split 50:50. I have final tie-breaker for all things.

Financials were split 50:50. No alimony or CS. I kept the marital home.

Todo: Qdro Mortgage assumption Equity buyout

Backstory: ExW cheated and failed to be worth R, so I filed for D.

As soon as I had proof of her affair I consulted with a lawyer and started documenting everything.

I filed for D 5 months after getting proof of the affair. No alimony because adultery in my state carries consequences.

Advice:

Document everything early on. Especially what you do for your kids.

Pick the GAL yourself before the court picks one at random.

Avoid anything which takes away your focus from the game. Being focused and diligent pays off in spades.

Never show your opponent your hand.

Conclusion: It IS possible to be the primary custodian and come out of this protecting the most important people in your life (yourself and your kids).

Divorce sucks all-around and is stressful for your kids and for you; but you have to man up and be there for them.

I was ignorant and got married young (22) to the love of my life (3.5 yrs pre-arrange + 17 years married). I don't regret getting married and having many fun years together. I do however lament that people can change for the worst and blow up your life.

I am not even considering dating for 1+ years.

Questions?