Flooded with negative feelings

darmitage55 · 2026-04-18T18:14:58+00:00

Two years of that and the feelings are still whiplashing around? Makes total sense. You don't have to ditch the anger yet. It's actually doing something right now, keeping you clear-eyed about what happened. Peace comes, but forcing it too soon just buries stuff that comes back worse later.

Candidate_Worldly · 2026-04-17T13:05:10+00:00

I'm past the missing stage. Currently in the resentment, anger and profound lack of respect phase for what she did to our family and our daughter. Rather this any day than pining for her like a broken dog.

edu_sysadmin · 2026-04-17T11:50:36+00:00

My ex and I have a good relationship currently. Though we're only at the beginning part of the divorce journey, I too oscillate between sadness and anger. When you're sad, I can cry to get those feelings out. When I'm angry, well that's what I haven't figured out yet. I don't wanna ruin our co-parenting relationship, but I also can't yet forgive her for the devastation she's caused our family (not to mention finances). As for ditching the negativity, what I hear others say is time heals all wounds - I think at some point your mind will move on. I don't think there's a way to speed that up.

Il_Valentino · 2026-04-17T08:37:49+00:00

I want the peace that ditching negativity brings but maybe it’s too soon. Thoughts?

everything starts with acceptance. accept the reality what kind of human your ex is. then make the appropriate conclusions and act on them.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-04-17T07:13:10+00:00

If you can't find someone to talk to, write it down. Journalling helps process feelings.
For example write a letter that you never intend to send.
Hope this helps.

LaCathedrale · 2026-04-17T06:29:31+00:00

Definitely - I feel like my ex has behaved with such an appalling lack of integrity and disrespect it borders on sociopathic.

For me what is slowly helping me process it, is the I understand that when a woman decides it's over it's a long time before it's brought up - and when it is, she will have spent such a long time devaluing the relationship, you, etc. in order to paint herself as 'breaking free' or somesuch nonsense. It is less likely to be intentionally to hurt you or your child, but more that she simply does not consider the impact at all - you are simply a footnote from a past she wishes to be rid of.

I love how she used to be, but then I realise that it was simply that the wind was blowing in the right direction - her lack of responsibility and emotional disregulation were 'free spirited' and 'interesting' when things were well, but those very same traits became knives when they weren't.

I'm not trying to rewrite the past because we did have a great time, but I'm slowly starting to see that a large part of what made those times great was mostly a 'me' thing: whether it was me literally organising and managing things, or idealising/interpreting her actions in a positive light.

ZaDyer86 · 2026-04-17T03:06:22+00:00

Everyone grieves in their own ways. Just check yourself that you don't get bitter on another's account - she's not worth it and your children deserve a better you that's healthy.

You're doing well mate. You're already talking about it.

Each of the injuries due to her brings their own cycle of grief all over again. For me it was stunning how flippant and quickly unattached she became that kicked my gut. Aim for forgiveness, aim for acceptance. And know the feelings are valid and natural as you go through them.

Title	Flooded with negative feelings
Author	Frosty_Wrongdoer7256
Upvotes	13
Comments	8
Date	April 17, 2026 2:11 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1snnpmx/flooded_with_negative_feelings/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/flooded-with-negative-feelings.1578129 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578129

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