So my ex decided she wanted a divorce after 12 years together.

We were amazing up until we got married 6 years ago then it just all became routine, we argued, spent too much time on phones etc. About two years ago we got heavy into the coke and partying with an old friend of mine. One night we got blackout drunk and she ended up sleeping with him and his wife.

I forgave her, we were going through some shit and it is a product of circumstance. Our communication was so poor but she always pushed back on getting professional help. About the same time she dropped the bombshell she doesn’t want kids - after wanting them when we got married.

You’d think I’d be wanting to kick her to the curb right…..wrong.

She came round to finalise the separation agreement last night and we had one of the best nights in years - laughing, joking, great conversation. Such a mind fuck, now I’ve got the constant “what if this is what it could be” in my head.

On top that I had brought her a cooking class last Christmas (she loves cooking). Last night I reminded her she needed to use it before it expired, she asked if we could do it together………I said yes but seems a very couply thing to do?

I’ve tried to say let’s work on it with professional help but she says wants to end it and doesn’t think it’ll change anything.

Despite that, our wedding photos are still main pictures on her social media, profile photos are of us, she’s also been slow and doing anything relating to the separation.

This shit is so bloody hard and so confusing. Adamant she wants to seperate but then have the best communication in years, still outwardly appear as a couple of social platforms, and wants to remain close friends.

What a fucking roller coaster