Frozen and struggling so bad

greenringrayner · 2026-07-08T18:02:27+00:00

"I moved into a shed office in the backyard" why would you ever do this? get back into the house

Significant_Koala_61 · 2026-07-08T07:30:04+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that bro, if I can offer any advice it is to compartmentalise all of your tasks including lawyers, kids, finances etc, set times for each of them and chip away, when you hit the wall stop and move onto something else, come back to it later

Tiny_Fix1225 · 2026-07-08T01:27:20+00:00

Ahh man, sounds do hard. But i feel this deeply. Do you have any friends you can lean on for help? I don’t know where is be without my crew thdt got me through those first months… hit me up if you wanna chat. I mean it.

myxyplyxy · 2026-07-07T17:43:13+00:00

Took me 2 years to get out of the frozen hole. Give yourself permission to stay there. Your nervous system needs that

LoveCrispApples · 2026-07-07T11:06:27+00:00

Small steps, man. You can't beat yourself up. Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is just the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, "I'll try again tomorrow. "

Dragonite_23 · 2026-07-07T10:56:07+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I found videos from Dr. Maika Steinborn and Rachel Sloan on YouTube extremely helpful. They have a lot of great videos and tips to help regulate your system but also help with self confidence and knowing it wasn’t only you that led here.

Good luck on this journey! We’re all in it together while we’re also all in it alone.

koskesh122 · 2026-07-07T09:24:47+00:00

Well bud, join the club. 1. 50% of all marriages end in divorce. 2nd marriages have 60% divorce rate and 3rd marriages 70% divorce rate. 2. 90% of all divorces initiated by the women. • Child support, Alimony, your pension + retirement savings, government support + housing incentivizes them leaving you. 3. 90% of custody awarded to mothers. 4. False allegations of abuse are prevalent in family courts. • You will be called abusive in order to stress you out so you give in to their unjust demands.

What to do now?

Settle your case ASAP. • The leeches (Judges, Lawyers, Therapists, Legal system will want to bleed you dry by leveraging your kids against you) The system gets paid by you fighting for you children.
Find a hobby.
Focus on your career/start a side hustle/Make more money.
Hit the gym daily.
Stay away from SINGLE moms at ALL costs and anyone who claims their ex was abusive. Do NOT raise another man’s child. You may end up being on the hook financially (Child support) for their kid if you leave.
Travel once a year.
Read books like No More Mr. nice guy
Open up the New Testament and start reading daily + listen to Charles Stanely on YouTube. • Learn to forgive your ex. This will set you emotionally and mentally free so you can begin enjoying life once again.

Stowin · 2026-07-07T06:59:42+00:00

Sorry to hear that your struggling, brother.

My wife left me two years ago and back then life looked bleak. Fortunately, my daughter had already left home so i didnt have that commitment (as such).

I was in the position of having to continue to live with her up until January this year due to not being able to afford to move out as we needed to continue to pay the mortgage until the house sold and that is finally completing next week!

I started Journaling every night, focusing on how i felt and how my day had been. This brings clarity and moves your thoughts from your spiraling mind to paper.

This is a tough one, but necessary...

I was mildly depressed and didnt even recognose it until I had to reflect on the man that i had become, my flaws and how I would do the inner work to better myself... FOR MYSELF.

Then i started working out at home. Just a simple 4 exercise routine, stopped drinking any alcohol and foxused on eating the same set meals everyday.

Listen to any David Goggins, Jocko Wilink (and others) motivational videos and really soak upvthe message. Its not for everyone but it kicked my ass into recognising that the only person that was gonna help me, was me.

All of this was quietly building routines and habits which bring you clarity and focus. You need this during this tough time.

She noticed all of this and there was some regret in her voice during some later conversations.

Two years later, im now with a wonderful woman who i met at a salsa class (cliche but totally unintentional and unexpected). Weve just moved in together and the future looks bright.

All this to say, its tough and feels bleak and i send my love and energy to you so take somentime to look inside you, work out what it is you want for yourself, be kind but disciplined and youll be amazed where you'll find yoiurself in six months time.

One last thing. Read (or listen to) The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday. When you finish it, start it over again and as many times as you need to. This became my bible.

Much love to you in this time, brother. I hope you can find yourself and find peace. I promose you, it will get better.

Mountain-Fun-5680 · 2026-07-07T05:05:48+00:00

I've been divorced for a year and still struggling. Missing my family mostly. I asked chat gpt for ideas about where I should focus because so many things about me and my current life seem like dogshit. Chat gpt said to have one meaningful conversation (15 minutes) every day.

whatsupdanja · 2026-07-07T04:44:43+00:00

I’m sorry this is happening to you brother. I’m sitting here 2 weeks separated in a cramped apartment 5 minutes from the kids I want to be snuggling in the house I’m paying for, hell I want to be snuggling her - and every morning it’s a fight to stay engaged when I’m away.

A few small things I’ve tried that have helped.

Journal. Seriously. Sit and write until your hand is tired. I don’t know why but it is a little magic.
Give yourself something mundane to track that feels good to hit. Every calorie you eat with MacroFactor. Every lb you lift with Caliber. Get a little obsessed.
Go where people are and strike up conversations. Get your hair cut. Compliment the cashier. Talk to the barista. Watch a game at a bar and ask the dude next to you where he’s from.
Make a list of five people you love and call at least one a week on Sunday for a good conversation.
When you see your kids, put them to bed and say “One thing I love about you is _____”. They will never forget it.
When you can, maybe get a dog. Men need something to take care of. And it forces you to get outside.

Pulling for you.

DizzyCommercial7705 · 2026-07-07T04:41:04+00:00

Not the man, but I was frozen stuck for several years. I think two things have helped me. It became easier when the divorce was finalized and I was no longer in limbo, could move on and also did not have to see my ex as often so I felt I could focus on building my own life. Another thing was that I consciously tried to focus on building my own energy and positivity, specifically by seeing a therapist and various energy workers that focused on positive things.

Title	Frozen and struggling so bad
Author	hackgardener
Upvotes	16
Comments	14
Date	July 7, 2026 4:32 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1upknh6/frozen_and_struggling_so_bad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/frozen-and-struggling-so-bad.1584425 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584425

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