Over the past 8 months there were times I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, and the success stories I read in this sub gave me hope, even when I couldn’t visualize it for myself. So I want to share my story for those of you who may be in a similar boat now.

5 years ago, I caught my wife in an emotional affair. Stupidly, I chose to stay with her for the sake of keeping the family together even though she never admitted it for what it was or apologized for what she did.

Fast forward to this past February, and she was exhibiting a lot of the same signs as before. I sat her down and asked what was going on. She told me nothing was going on, but she was done with our marriage. She gave me the same old “we can still be friends and I still love you” BS that many of you have been told. I retained a lawyer that afternoon and told her to get one too.

Two weeks later, I received a call from a woman I don’t know who informed me that she just caught her then husband in the backseat of the new SUV I had just bought my then wife. In that moment, I felt relief - to have the truth and to be able to leave the marriage with a clean conscience.

The divorce process was pretty brutal. I was on track to retire comfortably by the age of 55 in less than 10 years, but my finances were absolutely destroyed. Having to cohabitate for months with that leach of a woman while she was banging her AP around town and spending my money as fast as she could while I held it together for our kids tested my limits. All while lying to my face about what was going on. Meanwhile, the gossip train in my small town ran full steam ahead. If it weren’t for my faith in God and my friends, I’m not sure I would have made it. There’s a lot more that happened, but I’m trying to keep this as short as possible. There was a period in early June where I was having some really dark thoughts before things started turning around.

In late June, I managed to buy a really nice house in a great neighborhood nearby, and it has been my sanctuary. I’ve got it furnished and been slowly decorating. My kids struggled at the beginning with the transition, but they’ve been doing a lot better. We’ve been connecting really well. I’ve got an awesome circle of guy friends who have been there for me. I’ve become a lot more active in serving in my church and that’s helped replace some of the purpose I lost as a husband. I’ve always been healthy, but now I’m in the best shape of my life.

My divorce was signed a month ago, 6 months to the day after the call I received from the woman who informed me my ex was cheating on me. The very next day after my divorce was official, I took that woman (my ex’s AP’s ex-wife) on a date. We’re taking things slow, but it’s been going really well.

In February when this all started, I questioned how I would make it through this. And given how dark things looked even in June, I can hardly believe how good things are just a few months later. I wouldn’t change anything at this point.

The timing will be different for each of us, but I just wanted to offer my story and encouragement to those of you who feel hopeless right now. If you keep taking the next little step forward and keep working on yourself, it will get better. If it would be helpful for me to share what worked for me, I’m happy to give more details. Stay strong and stick together, brothers!