How did you get out?!

ranger69danger · 2023-09-03T17:19:16+00:00

I quit the house before I filed. You need a place where you never have to see or hear that woman’s evil being again. No help just a vote of hope for righteousness for you brother man.

Winter_Present_4185 · 2023-09-03T18:36:40+00:00

I feel for you, man, and I'm sorry you are going through this. That's so messed up.

I can't offer any advice other than financial.

What state? Looking at your post history, it seems like you are in Florida.

Specifically on maintaining the financial status quo, most states have this general "guideline," but it is not a legal "standing order" to maintain her lifestyle. If she wants to go out for drinks with her friends, she can pay for that herself. Nothing about maintaining her lifestyle is initially in place unless a court orders it. What is often times automatically ordered is financial protection, so one party can't just drain the accounts and run.

Specifically, the status quo order in Florida simply states that you can't: - Sell marital assets - Take on new debts - Transfer ownership of marital assets to another person - Relocate out of the state or county where the divorce was filed.

None of these are that you must continue to provide her lifestyle.

The term for maintaining the lifestyle is often called temporary alimony (in my state it's called pendente lite) and her attorney would have had to file a motion with the court to get it to be "court ordered". If it is court ordered, it will have an exact dollar amount you are required to pay while the divorce is ongoing.

If her attorney didn't file a motion and there is no court ordered temporary alimony, your attorney is going to tell you to maintain the status quo anyway because technically it is what expected and if your divorce goes to a trial (most are settled during mediation, so percentage wise, divorce trials are rare), a judge could potentially impose sanctions on you for not doing so. Your attorney is just looking out for your best interest. However, the sanctions imposed are usually minimal (if ever imposed), always monetary (never a custody modification) and are mostly equal to just the amount of money you would have to pay to maintain the status quo of her lifestyle otherwise.

You mentioned she filed already. As long as there are marital savings in a joint savings account to draw the necessary monthly bills from, have that drain down with the monthly bills and begin to place your paycheck into a separate account only under your name starting from this point forward. If the money in the joint savings account goes to zero during the course of the divorce process, her attorney will need to file a motion that you are in contempt to get you to start provide court ordered temporary support. They also can do this sooner under an asset dissipation claim, but her and her attorney will have to file an actual motion with the court as this isn't automatic like you think it is. Like I mentioned before, when it is court ordered, it will have an exact dollar amount that you have to provide her so she can cover her personal bills and continue living her life as though she still were afforded your disposable income in the interim until you are divorced.

Edit: The issue with temporary alimony is that it inventives the other party to not settle. They know you are temporarily paying to support them during the divorce negotiations, so they have a reason to drag out the divorce proceedings until they get what they want or a trial settles any lingering issues.

Edit: If you are going to not pay her bills unless the court ordered, do provide money for your child.

GreenUse1398 · 2023-09-04T18:28:10+00:00

She had a 3 year affair with your own brother 13 years ago, and you have daughters aged 12 and 9?

I mean, paternity test, right? That's got to be in your thinking.

Sounds strange, but have you tried talking to your brother? The guy must be feeling something right now. Can he not do something to sort out the mess he helped create?

Title	How did you get out?!
Author	Think-Bench5665
Upvotes	4
Comments	5
Date	September 3, 2023 5:10 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1692d5m/how_did_you_get_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-did-you-get-out.1231257 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231257

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