I'm twenty four years old going through a divorce. I have two kids that I love with everything in me. I've struggled with depression most of my life and lately it's gotten worse. I don't even know how to put to words how I feel but I almost feel dead on the inside. I feel like I have nobody anymore and like every relationship between people is purely transactional and pointless. My wife has completely destroyed my capacity to trust with my emotions. I feel like if I was with somebody else this would just happen again and again. I've become obsessed with work because it's the only place I feel like I matter and I enjoy my career. The days I have off I love seeing my kids but it's also difficult and I hate when I'm not at work. Usually the first day I go back to work I feel relieved and the last day I work of the week I feel dread. I'm a complete nobody that doesn't matter. I go to therapy and church, they help somewhat but it's like I'm fooling myself into feeling better for a little bit. I see my kids so full of life and happy but I feel guilt because life is just filled with suffering and it's only going to get worse with time. Sometimes I feel guilt for bringing them into this world when I was younger and more stupid. I just want all of these feelings to stop, sometimes it's hard to not wish to be dead already.