Anyone else getting bitter towards the idea of marriage?

Techdude_Advanced · 2026-03-07T23:02:18+00:00

No matter how kind or good looking etc. Do not sign a legal agreement. It will destroy you.

Outside-Jicama-8468 · 2026-03-06T21:03:31+00:00

Not bitter. Just not doing it ever again.

I refuse to open up and let someone else that deep into my life again.

omenoracle · 2026-03-05T23:24:35+00:00

Iol. never doing that again.

LimitAdvanced191 · 2026-03-05T21:39:06+00:00

Got a best man speech a little ways ahead. Its not about you, it never was or is.

Be bigger than yourself or your feelings.

It doesn't mean they're wrong. It just means there's a time and place and space for that.

Upon a time. I made sure to ask the grooms if they were certain, not to sow doubt but to reinforce. To encourage and give certainty.

Oddly for all the harm ahe has done, I resent but dont hate my stbxw and never did. Anger for sure.

Never hate. It is comprehensible and an onion. Even the betrayal and affair confirmation hurt but didnt change much.

And perhaps know that your brain is here. And so subject to influence. Dont begrudge who you were or they were, only if the intent was not honest.

We all fuck up. But some it is planned and prepared and malign and subversive and perverts a world view for their own.

See it, avoid it.

And then move on.

And you will never know what happens behind closed doors. Express your story and lay down the flags to look for, the paths not taken.

Be you and be a good version of you.

I cant recall any occasion I ever met her or exs family where I didn't try to find a salve, a moment, offer an ear, caddy to their problems.

But it distorted me. They don't seek solutions of change, drama is a part of it. It is wholly unnecessary.

Not everyone seeks peace or to consider act and acfions and consequence.

I longed to be that free. But saw the harm.

At my worst I became a shadow and lilleputian of a lifetime of their games. Just dont do it.

And be your friends friend.

They will never know ir understand. Nor should they.

Raise them up, not everyone else will, eoth integrity and certisntly some without some payment or benefit.

Sad really. But people... some cant see light and indeed avoid it.

Choose wisely!

Long-Fudge-7124 · 2026-03-05T19:34:30+00:00

I won’t do it again. Relationships yes. Marriage no.

soupsandwich00 · 2026-03-05T18:53:49+00:00

I'm very cynical and jaded when it comes to relationships/marriage now.

ShaunyP_OKC · 2026-03-05T16:24:46+00:00

Guilty

Candidate_Worldly · 2026-03-05T13:15:45+00:00

Yes, the idea I'll ever get married again is utterly laughable to me. Good luck to the men that do, but I think its crazy to risk going through this trainwreck again. Especially when divorce rates are around 70% for 2nd marriages iirc.

Even a long term relationship is unreal to me at this point in time. I'm hoping this will change as I'm lonely and miss intimacy a lot, but my opinion of women is not in a good place at the moment, and I hate feeling that way.

Particular_Car7127 · 2026-03-05T13:13:52+00:00

Divorce is one of the biggest destroyers of wealth and prosperity their is. Call me a conspiracy theorist if you want, but the breakup of marriage and family is all part of the collapse of western society. There's a reason why women vote left and men vote right.

Other destroyers of wealth: College loans Car loans Credit cards Cost of living

Jankyfumunda · 2026-03-05T12:56:31+00:00

I feel ya. I'm all for having a long term partner but I don't think I'll ever enter a legal binding contract with the state again. Not without a rock solid prenup in place. I made it out of my divorce (no kids) on top with the house and the dog despite my ex wife's legal team's efforts but thats not the norm.

Even dating now a days seems like a waste of money. Spending $5k+ a year on dates that ultimately go nowhere seem like a waste to me now. I'd rather take that cash and put it towards a fun hobby or learning something new that I can enjoy for a lifetime.

I feel social media and dating apps have destroyed the traditional sense of relationships. With the amount of perceived access out there just amplifies the wandering eye and the "grass is greener" mindset.

R9ome · 2026-03-05T08:38:01+00:00

I'm never getting married again, luckily I've found a woman that also doesn't want to get married or feel the need to have our relationship validated by government and a piece of paper

VibrantCanopy · 2026-03-05T06:54:37+00:00

Christian marriage has been outlawed by no-fault divorce and domestic violence laws. You literally cannot have a Christian family anymore, it's forbidden. It's not even opt-in. All you can do is keep the government out of your marriage as much as possible. Get married in a church, but it stops there, no civil marriage, no common law marriage, no communal property, no palimony, no alimony, no spousal support, no shared finances, yes enforceable prenup, yes cohabitation agreement. Sadly, "child" "support" can't be avoided in western countries, you have to have children overseas to avoid it.

Routine_Ambition7304 · 2026-03-05T05:30:52+00:00

I’ll speak as a divorced woman, I’m not sure so much bitter but completely discouraged 🫤 I mean before all of that, it better have a solid foundation of mutual trust, honesty, and respect down, but if you don’t even have kindness and the WANT to grow the relationship then what’s the point really? Marriage is just the icing on the cake if you will.

Derelict86 · 2026-03-05T03:08:34+00:00

One of the things I didn't fully realize until my divorce was over was that it props up a whole industry of opportunists, just like marriage and death. I'm surprised nobody offered flowers in the process.

I didn't just get taken for a ride by my ex. It was also her attorney, my attorney, the mediator we hired, they all acted incompetent and used delay tactics to bleed me out. I'm not rich by any means but I had a couple hundred thousand in assets. My divorce took 2 years, yet likely would have been six months if I was broke.

The process almost broke me. My daughter was my strength to persevere. I got 50% custody luckily, but was nearly wiped out financially. I don't think I have the energy or motivation to even put myself back out there to date, yet alone consider another marriage.

Ninja_1000_SX · 2026-03-05T00:33:10+00:00

Only a foolish man puts his hand in the fire twice. I will never re-marry or live in a way that looks like marriage to the Australian government. Happy to date, go out and have fun, but I will not live with someone again.

Time_Kaleidoscope564 · 2026-03-04T23:46:18+00:00

I was, but my mind is shifting. I'm still very early on in the process. Our relationship died in November, she moved out in January and divorce was filed last month.

I immediately started therapy. I've surrounded myself with my best friends. I only allow myself to dwell on negative thoughts/feelings for a day, and do my best to choose peace and positivity for as many days forward as I can until those feeling crop back up...I give myself another day. When I don't have my kids, I fill my time with activities that interest me. I'm doing things I've never done or things that I put into a box and stashed away because of her. I've already met some really cool people.

I still have really bad days, but it's getting easier. I still wish she would come home, but moments of clarity are starting to poke through the bad days. I'm beginning to finally realize and acknowledge all the red flags I missed. All the times I didn't deserve to be treated the way that I was, used the way that I was and gaslit...gaslit to no fucking end.

It hurts that the most beloved person in my entire life ended up becoming life's biggest lesson, but it's still a lesson well learned nonetheless. I know what I'm worth. I know what I deserve. I know what I fucking want. I won't settle this time and I'm forgiving myself now for having not realized that's exactly what I did with her...I settled.

My next wife, if/when that ever happens, is going to be a fucking keeper.

Don't let your pain turn into bitterness that will get in the way of what you deserve.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-03-04T23:22:14+00:00

Sure I will get married again. I will even push for no prenups if she is wealthy and has lots more money than me.

But then again most people my age in their 50s are not that stupid anymore.

freedomruntime · 2026-03-04T23:18:56+00:00

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2026-03-04T22:00:58+00:00

Considering the financial devastation that can happen with me retiring into a ditch somewhere if I had to divorce a second time, it is not my favourite idea.

Podonkeyfkr · 2026-03-04T22:00:44+00:00

I can't even look at people anymore. Lost my faith in humanity.

engineered-chemistry · 2026-03-04T21:58:39+00:00

No interest in ever getting remarried. A partner, no problem but without a life wrecking binding contract.

TheConjugalVisit · 2026-03-04T21:46:56+00:00

I'm not bitter but I'm never getting married again, no point in putting my assets at risk again and going through all the red tape with divorce when I can get the milk without buying the cow.

BathAutomatic6972 · 2026-03-04T21:43:52+00:00

There's no problem in my life that marriage solves.

RealDamage007 · 2026-03-04T21:38:07+00:00

Nope. Just not for me.

Got_any_lemonade · 2026-03-04T21:23:58+00:00

Casual relationship: up for it. Serious: maybe. Marriage: hell no.

Expensive_Lawyer_779 · 2026-03-04T21:20:23+00:00

No way in hell will I get married again. Women are too flighty to adhere to wedding vows, catch and release.

Coffeecankicker · 2026-03-04T20:32:11+00:00

Absolutely not. I don’t even want a live in. I’m still divorcing but started dating a woman who lives an hour away. The distance is magnificent! It stops the early phase of bonding like some relationships but I don’t want fast action. I need slow and steady. And texting daily while calling a couple times a week and then weekly visits. Shit man, some dads don’t see their kids this much so I’m good with it!

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-03-04T20:09:13+00:00

That was me the first two years after divorce. Once I healed I made a boundary not to let my ex live rent free in my head any longer. I was determined not to let my ex or her past behavior stop me from living the life I wanted.

4 years on I rebuilt and decided I wanted to share that life with an amazing woman. God delivered and we will be getting married in the next year.

I remember hearing the statistic that 75% of divorcees remarry within 5 years when I joined my divorce recovery group. I used to laugh at that and was sure that would never be me. We all think that in the beginning 😂.

UrAristotle · 2026-03-04T20:03:44+00:00

I’m good with another relationship. I will never get married again. I see no advantage for me doing so.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2026-03-04T19:44:04+00:00

I still believe in marriage when it makes sense to legally intertwine. Kids? Yes, absolutely. Fiscal partnership (not separate finances)? Again yes.

Being married was great. Until it wasn't.

Would I ever get married again? I own my home. I wont ever mix my financial life with someone again. I am done having kids. So no, there is no reason for me to do it as the risk is just too much.

Hell, I don't even want to date. Even outside of brining a random person into my young kids lives (they never asked for any of this) I just cannot justify the cost. How much does a date even run now? $200? $300? I'm not spending 5-10k a year for that bs.

Gattsama · 2026-03-04T19:39:26+00:00

There are several different institutions that we use when we say marriage: social, religious, legal. I will never sign the legal contract ever again. But I'm not opposed to a social or religious ceremony if that's something that I found the right person for. Because I am interested in name monogamous long-term relationship.

The problem with the legal contract is that the system is fundamentally broken. Everyone acknowledges that the system is fundamentally broken, but traditionalists and other people will tell you just to go ahead and put your head in that news anyway because that's what you're supposed to do as a "good man."

But the contract offers zero benefit, with huge potential liabilities. The contract does not provide against infidelity, it does not provide protection for your family/children, it does not provide financial protection, and it doesn't provide protection against emotional/mental abuse. What the contract does do is stipulate how the division of communal assets will occur.

In other words, the contract is a prenup. It's the standard issue default government prenup, and that prenup is again fundamentally broken.

Grafixx5 · 2026-03-04T19:34:41+00:00

Nope, never again. My friends keep joking about it but it’s starting to not really feel or be like a joke to me. They keep saying how I will get back with my exwife which will NEVER, EVER happen. Or I will meet someone and marry. I told them IF I was to meet someone and marry, she would have to be like Jessica Alba, Sarah Michelle Gellar or someone like that and we all know people like that don’t really hang out with, date, let alone marry anyone who isn’t their equal.

Koi_Fish_Mystic · 2026-03-04T19:30:48+00:00

I’m close to having a fuck buddy, crossing my fingers.

gaelorian · 2026-03-04T19:24:05+00:00

My divorce was very civil. Amicable, even. It still sucks, though.

I have 0% right now in ever marrying again. I’m dating. I am open to a long term relationship. I will just never merge lives like that again.

“Living apart together” is what I want. If that’s not a shared desire it’s not going to work.

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-03-04T19:22:26+00:00

I'm eight years past my divorce. I've had lots of time to think about this. In short, there's no benefit to men getting married.

Epic_Ranting_Man · 2026-03-04T19:17:18+00:00

Not getting married again.

Boomhower113 · 2026-03-04T19:14:17+00:00

I’ve started to look at like this: The only reason for men to get married is to have legitimate children and to raise them in a nuclear family. I get that, and I think it is a good reason to get married.

However, I’ve had my kids and they’re both about to be out of the house. I have no possible reason to get the government involved in any relationship I’m in from now on.

TeddyPSmith · 2026-03-04T18:58:20+00:00

Going through a second divorce now at 50 and yes. It seems so shallow to me. My idea was a best friend and soulmate. Her idea seemed more like a status and financial deal. Maybe (not maybe) my picker is broken.

I’ve often thought that God would have to hand deliver the person to me if I did it again

aquatone61 · 2026-03-04T18:52:22+00:00

Not getting married again unless it’s a no strings attached very rich woman who will let me spend her money. That may be pie in the sky but oh well I guess it means I’m never getting married again.

wparo · 2026-03-04T18:47:06+00:00

Personally, I'm not, but I will be using a prenup next time.

Title	Anyone else getting bitter towards the idea of marriage?
Author	Trankvilo_1887
Upvotes	50
Comments	80
Date	March 4, 2026 6:38 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rktlsy/anyone_else_getting_bitter_towards_the_idea_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anyone-else-getting-bitter-towards-the-idea-of.1574710 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574710

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