I left my house about a month ago. Stay-at-home wife doesn't work outside the home (20 years). 4 dependent kids in the house (2 adult age), other 2 homeschool. Neither of us want them going to public school. I am fortunately able to stay in a guest room at my parents rent free and have/will continue to pay the mortgage and all the bills in an effort to not disrupt the kids lives further.

She continues to tell me how I am 'fucking up everyone's lives' by being selfish and only thinking about what I want or need. How I am the only one with any earning potential and how her resume has my name on it because she sacrificed everything to support my career. Even though she chose this lifestyle and I chose to be on board with it, I feel empathetic to her panic on some level.

I've offered to continue paying for 'EVERYTHING' for 3 years to give her a chance to come up with a plan to replace or supplement my income. She refuses that idea and only says, "what about after that?! I'll have a homeschooling 10 year old at that point". I feel like I am being very fair regarding our unique situation and making a sincere effort to get out of the marriage without burning the neighborhood down. I haven't been through divorce before, but I can't imaging a judge would offer a better alternative for her than that. I'm nervous about going through with the paperwork, but I just want it to be done and still provide for the kids. She continues to say 'me and the kids are going to be homeless on food stamps while you make six figures on MY effort'. So exhausting and toxic imo.

Nobody will ever be homeless or hungry as long as I'm breathing.

edit: I have never been unfaithful in the marriage and have just fallen way out of love after constantly battling over any given thing I say or do. It became mentally abusive years ago and escalated to physical abuse for the first time in 2020.

Previous post for reference:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/comments/kna83k/how_to_divorce_a_stay_at_home_mom/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3