My STBXW and I have now gone back and forth with three different offers/counter-offers and she gets more and more unreasonable with each one. The latest seeks full custody of the kids with no basis whatsoever and seeks 100% of the marital assets including the home equity by way of a equalization payment for my personal collections and back child support for last year, despite the fact that we were still living together and I was fully contributing to the household and am the lower income. In addition, she is demanding tens of thousands be transferred to her dad in payment of loans that she had taken from him over the years without my knowledge. In effect, that would end up covering her legal fees since he is the one bankrolling her divorce.

My lawyer says we are at the point where we will be going through mediation/arbitration, and he believes, ultimately court. The costs are unreal and I cannot reasonable support them. I have family to help, to some extent, but even they are likely to balk at them. They have in the past suggested that I should just give up, take my lumps and move on. I don't even really give a shit about the money, I just want 50/50 with the kids. Not unreasonable, in my mind.

My lawyer has suggested that a limited scope retainer might be an option to reduce costs. Does anyone have any experience doing this? Is this effectively self-representation?

I'm a hair's breadth away from just walking away from everything. I am so utterly exasperated by the utter unfairness of all of this. She is the one who had the affair, FFS and now I have to be punished by being left penniless and without my kids? Homelessness is right around the corner here and I am struggling to see a way out.