tl;dr - Separated since May, Divorce initiated September, a couple of online dating dates, one physical relationship with an older woman, had attention from a younger woman who I turned down because I'd already arranged to see my friends and annoyed at the world

Last night I went to the pub for a quiet beer after a hard day's work - I noticed a couple of women coming in and sitting opposite, but carried on doing my own thing. Eventually one of them (S) involved me in the conversation that her other friend was going on speed dating. After a while her friend invited me to sit with them, so I did. S was a little tipsy and was all over me; when it became evident her friend was leaving, the friend took my number to 'make sure she was OK tonight'.

This "S" told me I was handsome, sexy, that she wanted to do all manner of filth to me in the bedroom, and that she wanted it right now. For the first time in my adult life, there was a woman actively pursuing me.

Of course, despite having absolutely nothing in my social calendar for weeks and weeks, THIS VERY NIGHT I had already booked an evening with my chums, months in advance. Four of them travelling to meet and catch up - so we exchanged numbers and I left, with a flirty call while I was walking to the other pub.

When I was finished with them I called her, but to no answer. Her friend texted me later and said S was in a 'random location' and asked if she was OK - clearly, S had moved onto the next guy. I deleted S's number and am moving on.

I'm aware that a ONS with a tipsy woman is hardly a basis for a relationship, and like lots of these things which look amazing when you don't have the opportunity, but likely hollow. It was a nice ego boost to be 'pulled' in a public place and told I was sexy, cute, handsome, and that she wanted to jump my bones - that should be enough, but I'll be G_d damned if it wouldn't have been nice to get laid with a cute 30 year old.

Ultimately, I made the right choice in prioritising my friends and arrangements over this random hookup, but I am shaking my fist that the sky in the way the stars always seem to align like this.