Need some advice

suspicious_bag_1000 · 2026-02-28T21:28:53+00:00

If you’ve been separated it’s time to tell them. Wait til the end of school so they have summer to adjust as another commenter said. Then plan something special with them. A day trip etc. If you’re friendly with the soon to be ex, take a trip with the whole family. Kids, and you and your STBX. If you can pull off it demonstrates that you’re still going to be co-parenting them and that’s really the most important. It stresses kids to think they’re parents will be in constant conflict but it they can see you both getting along, that will reassure them.

Lastly they probably already know, at least know in their capacity of understanding and this will be a relief to them.

Environmental_Art760 · 2026-02-28T21:24:24+00:00

Tell the kids right after the school year ends. Give them the summer to adjust before school starts again in the Fall. If you guys coparent well over the summer, model adult behavior and they’ll have the best adjustment you can pull off

HistoricalRich280 · 2026-02-24T04:17:45+00:00

Sooner the better. Much harder on kids in middle and high school from what I hear… my own kids included

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-02-24T00:02:10+00:00

Being honest is ALWAYS the right choice.

Tell them together.

UrAristotle · 2026-02-23T21:06:49+00:00

You’ve been separated for 2 years and they don’t see it as odd?

We told our boys when they were 9 and 11 and they have done just fine with it.

Sundae-Latter · 2026-02-23T19:57:31+00:00

Ya my 7 year old knows a lot without us saying anything. Sit them down together and tell them so neither one of yall will have the chance to make the other look bad. I waited to tell our 6,9 and 14 at the time because I trusted my wife but while I was gone working on the road she was telling the kids that “ daddy thinks I’m cheating but he’s really just a jealous man and I would never do that because I’m a good Christian and he’s not“ it took a lot to repair the damage she was doing and luckily although I didn’t show my oldest I did tell her I had proof but that I hadn’t planned on telling them until they where adults and it’s fine now. Looking back I would have sat them down regardless of what she wanted because like the other guy said they’re not stupid and you can’t really hide much from them. Better tell them now than let them pick sides based on what she says.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-02-23T19:51:49+00:00

We have 11,8,6 year olds. Wife initiated a few months ago. While I’m sure they don’t fully understand what’s going on and why, they also didn’t react in a negative way. They just want to be kids from my experience. They don’t like it, but they all knew they don’t have a choice. They were more resilient than I expected. Only you know what’s best for your kids. Take care and good luck

RalphWastoid319 · 2026-02-23T19:49:22+00:00

Your kids aren't stupid, they know something is going on. Leaving them in limbo for another 2 years really isn't fair to them or to the both of you. In order for this her plan to work, you would have to remain living together for a couple more years. How are either of you supposed to move on?

Title	Need some advice
Author	Diiimple
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	February 23, 2026 6:56 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rcqc26/need_some_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-some-advice.1574097 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574097

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