Need to list a few things for context:

  • I am a 31 year old male in a major US city.

  • I just got out of a 4 month dating relationship (I’m not divorced), but I need some guidance on my mental health right now. I don’t want to diminish or deter from the men in here who have been through much worse, but I feel this is the only resource I have to receive accurate feedback.

  • After the first month of dating my ex, my instincts and my gut realized it wasn’t going to workout, resulting in private panic attacks since I was unable to overcome the bond we had developed in fear of heartbreak and I succumbed to advice that I should seek therapy to handle my anxiety and endure the relationship.

  • I swallowed this anxiety and high blood pressure for the remaining 3 months, persevering through a shallow connection that was upheld by strong physical chemistry alone. She wasn’t a bad person I just didn’t know how to communicate what I needed since I was so anxious, which ended up causing more complications between us.

  • She was the avoidant type and I’m obviously more anxious so enduring this disparity for months screwed up my mental health.

  • 2 months post breakup and I am having a very hard time getting back to dating because my mind feels like it is anticipating another heartbreak with anyone that I meet. I am on edge again. I used to see up to 6 women at a time casually. Not trying to humble brag, but that’s how far my state of confidence has fallen.

  • I have made the decision to take a hiatus from dating until I feel confident and happy in my own head again, but I’m just sick of the sensation of impending doom.

  • I am seeing a therapist. I am hitting the gym daily. I am seeing friends frequently.

  • My issue seems to be a lack of coping skills to accept that this isn’t the end of the world, because that’s what it feels like.

  • I know 4 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things, but I don’t have much long term dating experience. This was my longest and hardest fought. Each relationship I’ve had resulted in massive insight and knowledge in hindsight.

  • Anxiety runs in my family and I am on a moderate dose of SSRI which has helped in the past. I can’t cut it out because my thoughts will spiral into the gutter without it.

  • I read the experiences of actual divorced men in here to confirm my stance on never marrying, and it certainly helps to reassure myself that self preservation is priority.

Thank you