Hey everyone. SO and I are getting a divorce. I initiated the conversation and I’m the one who wants it, for many reasons.

Bottom Line:

No kids, married for 1Year 7Months. Live in a no fault state. No cheating or anything like that. Just a significant imbalance. We got a house a few months after marriage but I have been drowning throughout the marriage even though it is such a short time. She stopped working when we moved, and continued making payments on her cards and loans that were incurred before I was in the picture, while I paid for the mortgage, car payment (mine was paid off before I met her), car insurance, phone bill, subscriptions, and any other dumb item of the day she wanted so bad. While she was looking for a role, or not looking at all, she was to get our dogs under control - obedient, potty trained etc, as well as maintain the house and help with cooking. She cooked maybe 15 times in the last 2 years. She didn’t start trying to change until she knew I was about out the door. It was too late. My credit score has dropped 200 pts since we met and my savings are completely gone. I went from being financially independent with a six figure job to living below the poverty line.

She wanted a year of alimony, a year of medical and dental insurance and to split the house. I did a free consult with an attorney and it looks like alimony and insurance should be pretty easily winnable by me considering the short duration of the marriage, and current ability to support. I was laid off 3 months ago and start a new job next week, but have been getting by on unemployment which is less than my mortgage. I want to do it amicably and file together in court due to the cheap aspect of it and inability to pay a lawyer, but would this be a mistake? Should I wait until my pay starts adding up and use a lawyer? I am fine with splitting the house. It’ll either be a small profit or a loss. She thinks otherwise but has never made a payment and doesn’t understand.

Thanks for listening and if anyone has advice please let me know. I was extremely depressed with low self esteem, knew it was a mistake pretty much from the beginning, and just agreed and numbed myself to avoid the difficult conversations. Well I woke up and I need y’all’s advice lol